Chronically Unemployed Aspies...

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I am currently medically retired. Due to various chronic health problems. My counselor and I agree that the stress of trying to keep up with "Corporate America" with undiagnosed Asperger's contributed largely to my current breakdown in health. It may have been a blessing in disguise, but genuinely hate not being able to do all of the things that I used to. If I had good health, I would like to build a sustainable house and live off the grid, writing books.

My brother was diagnosed as a senior in high school. It explained a lot. He's 20, now. He's bounced from job to job, worked two jobs twice each, and has a hard time finishing things that he's started. He bombed out of Marine boot camp stamped with "failure to adapt", and I just wish he could find a place where people didn't end up talking about him like he's stupid. He's really one of the most intelligent people I've ever known. He has a really hard time because of the stories he makes up. Everyone knows that he didn't perform a tracheotomy on his friend, but when he's called out on it he just stares at them like he's looking through them. I just wish I could help him live life out here with the rest of us, and not in his head, ya know?

I have only ever had one job, as a Dog Groomer, my mum demanded I get a job after I quit college, I lasted for about 7 years, that sounds great, I rarely mention that the entire experience was completely mental, I think I found most days a total nightmare, until I just decided one day I didn't want to do it anymore and walked out.
I want to work, but I want to find something I really want to do if I go back to working and I just couldn't stand to work for someone else again, which means figuring out some self-employed route, not to mention I need to retrain in something to do that, I'm exploring computing atm.
I believe that people should only do jobs they love, if I say that to someone else though they say I'm lucky to be able to think that, I absolutely abhor the job question, everyone around me makes up reasons why I'm not working, which makes me feel embarrassed about not working, but at the same time, I know that I just couldn't cope with any old job. I don't think that people can define someone nowadays by what they do when so many people work only to "get by", if I did a job I absolutely loved, absolutely I'd be happy to be defined by what I do, but it seems so daft to connect people to jobs they choose based on the prevailing "do whatever you have to, to get by" attitude people have towards work.
Maybe I have been lucky, I don't know, but I think that the world would be a better place if people only did jobs they were actually good at and enjoyed, it seems such a waste to me to spend half your life despising what you do.
Nt's seem to have this amazing capacity to deny their own realities, to accept things without question, and to assume that their reality is everyone else's, it still surprises me when I've been asked why I don't work the reasoning that people apply to why they work, it never seems to be for enjoyment of the task, or to make a difference in the world or to express themselves, it's always about money, always.
I have to want to do something, I can't make myself do something, even just to get by, I see every detail and I can't pretend that everything is fine when it's not, not to mention the nightmare I find the whole social thing, I find life hard enough work without a job, I think it's hard to explain that to someone else, thankfully my mum gets it now, and she's not forced me to get a job since the Dog Grooming job.
I'm hoping to find something I can do, not because I feel I need a job to fit in, or get by, but because I would like to do something with my time, something that means something to me and allows me to express my talents, whatever they are, I wish everyone here Good Luck in everything, and it's somewhat reassuring to know that it's not just me that find these things hard.

Bugs

Did you read my mind, or something? That's EXACTLY how I feel about Working.

I consider myself fortunate. I have been working at a job I love for five years, at the library. I have tried several times to advance, without success yet. However, I was told that my interviewing skills have improved significantly. I am looking forward to 2008 when they complete the new library.

My brother has Asperger's (undiagnosed). He won't work, won't get diagnosed and won't get on disability. He's wiping my Mom and Dad out financially. Please give me any advise you can.

Thanks,

Wow, do I ever relate to that! Usually when you say that you're a stay at home mom, people give you that quick sharp, condescending "oh". As if staying at home taking care of 3 kids(2 of which have autism), a house, and a husband ISN'T work!

Oh, oh...I heard a different slant this morning on the question, "Do you work?" At the beauty salon while getting my hair cut, I overheard the hairdresser behind me asking her client, "What's your line of employment?" Her client proudly answered, "I'm a teacher."

That left me wanting to ask others here on WrongPlanet.net, what do you think would happen if one of us replied, "I'm an aspie," to someone who would ask us what our line of employment is? NTs don't have to work at being NTs in this world because it is their world; no more than say the French have to work at being French in France or the Germans have to work at being German in Germany. However, is it effortless to be an Italian in Japan when having no clue what is appropriate behavior for a person visiting Japan and/or any idea what people really mean when they are speaking Japanese and all you know is Italian?

Personally, I think replying "I'm an aspie" would at least spark an interesting conversation, especially since I doubt an aspie would normally ask another person, "What's your line of employment?"

I am chronically unemployed im 34 and its always been that way , i havent had a proper job in years. There are several reasons why ,I find being alive exhausting , i literally find being in the presence of other people , movement ,noise and lights physically and mentally exhausting. People just dont seem to like me and consequently i dont like people . One of my main problems is that i have to have instructions explained to me several times and very precisely other wise i dont understand exactly what and how im supposed to be doing things. I used to just do what i thought they were asking me to do . but then when id finished they would say things like what have you done ? why did you do it like that ? should have done it like this or you took to long etc so now i dont do anything at all unless given the actual specifics first. because of that people look at me like im stupid , maybe i am. the whole experience of work has usually made me physically ill within a very short space of time and i bounced from job to job each time thinking oh this place will be better or i can cope better now, but its never happened . Its made me permananatly depressed as i feel such a complete failure because i cannot contribute to society or provide for my family.

You're not alone. Don't let other people make you think you're stupid just because your mind operates differently. I would bet if you are given one single task to do that doesn't involve steps, you perform the job better than most other people can. I think that most people dole out instructions with all the steps jammed in a lump. Those who can follow directions that way usually do not do the same level of quality work as someone who needs to approach things one step at a time.

I wasn't able to get a job until I was 19, because in the interviews when they asked me how I would feel working e.g. with the public, I gave them an honest answer and they didn't like it.

When I was 19 I worked for Burger King for 2 months. They had me relabeling salads and selling expired food and I told them they were wrong. I got suspended for a week and was told that I had to do whatever they said even if I thought it was wrong, so I quit.

Next place I worked was a warehouse. I picked orders with 100% accuracy but was too slow and was told to work faster or else. I told a manager of what I thought of being told to work faster when the warehouse is in disarray and the forklift operators are never to be found. He fired me for insubordination, because I shouldn't talkback to an authority.

Then I worked at McDonald's and I wasn't fired, but I was cut off from work by a Wal-Mart employee that bribed some people to say I threatened him.

Now I can't find work and basically hate crap jobs.

I plan to go to college, just taking student loans and any jobs that I don't have to talk to people very much to pay for my way. I find that if people get to know me they try to get rid of me because I think differently than they do. I suppose it's not a good idea to be vocal about what you think ever, if you think differently from the NTs.

Does anyone have any advice?

Last edited by iamnotaparakeet on 03 Aug 2007, 10:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I dont know how helpful my advice is but I have had the same things happen to me through out my job history.I am 43 and the only job stability I have had was finding a particular "nitch".I work over nights.They are so desperate for workers that they are more tolerant of our differences.They dont like us any better but they know that we are usually good workers and an improvement on the mentally ill and drug addicts who often apply for these shifts.I dont have to work around people much and that helps,as well.I am a "self-motivated" worker.Once I know what is required,I do it without someone standing over my shoulder with a whip.I tend to have more time to think about how things are being done and come up with creative solutions...some appriciate this and others are offended.I dont take jobs that violate my own ethics but I have stayed in jobs that didnt meet my personal standards(caring for DD clients and animals)but I try and make changes when I can and justify that my being there is doing more good for them then my living.(Though I did eventually get to stressed by the treatment of clients that I had to quit for my own mental health).I dont know what your interests are by I divide my life into...work 40 hours doing mindless physical labor and spend the rest of my time persueing my interests.It's not as good as getting a job in your area of interest but the rent gets paid and they dont "own" me as they would if I worked a higher paying "salaried position".I have seen many people get sucked into these jobs,get addicted to the extra money and forget that they have no "free time" to enjoy it.If they actually figure out the hourly wage they earn after working 60-80 hour weeks,it often works out as less then the hourly wage of other employees....what a scam.Of course that is in social services which pays crap anyway,might be different in the computer/tech fields.One of my friends was making very good money and spending most of his days surfing the web.

Good luck,it isnt easy.

The truth is I'd rather not work. A 34 year old man who economizes on everything he can just so that he can avoid going back to work cuts a rather unattractive figure. It was not just the bullying and humiliating dismissals, working in any environment brought with it a deep sense of alienation. The fact is I'd rather be impoverished and die of hunger than be a slave.

I would go that far. People can be cruel, but don't be ruled by how they treat you. If you don't want to work for some NT boss, I suggest you try to be your own boss and put your skills to good work. I am planning to learn a technical trade or a construction trade or both. You know something like plumbing during construction season and something like electronics repair for off season. Both of which wont necessarily require an employer looming over me and complaining about the latest miscommunication.

Try to make your own work or find a job with low interaction between you and NTs, but don't go hungry!

While I believe I can be employed and maintain a job... I fear that my lack of social networking skills is going to severely hamper my success.

This summer has really let me down in my employment finding confidence. I can't even get crappy throwaway jobs...

The more I realize the world works this way: it's not what you know, it's who you know, the more bitter and despondent I become.

I am slowly realizing that my natural demeanor causes people to think I am less capable than I actually am... I hate this, because I generally like the way I act. I don't want to act differently so the world can have a different sense about me...

I want to be myself, and have everyone else understand what I can do... on the same level that I believe I can do it.

I am slowly learning that this is an impossibility... it's very disheartening and crushes my overabundance of joy.

I know how that is and how you feel. People should be more concerned with your work than who you know.

I hope you find a job that works for you, but in the mean time try to cheer up. People are less likely to want to work with some one who's depressed. I've found they'll even cut my hours till my attitude changes, as if that would help.

Do your best job to pretend your cheerful and be ready to give them an excuse that they can relate to. It worked well at my last job until Wal-Mart decided to ban me on a false accusation by a person who hated me. Also a good idea, try not to voice your opinions at work, you never know who will disagree with you and how much power they'll hold over your life.