Joined: 4 Jun 2021 Gender: Male Posts: 242 Location: Europe
10 Dec 2021, 4:18 am
AngelL wrote:
Dandansson wrote:
AngelL wrote:
I certainly don't want to insult anyone; that is not my intention for making this post.
I have been practicing meditation and mindfulness for many years. I teach and lead a meditation group and have taught mindfulness as well. The most salient observation I've had over the years is that both meditation and mindfulness are an awful lot like sex in that most people think they're experts on the matter from their second attempt. By the time they get to me they've filled their head with so much crap from so many sources, many of which were just guessing themselves, that the practice has become almost damaging to them.
There are other comparisons that come to mind. For instance, eighty percent of all people with a driver's license think they're above average drivers. Golfers regularly take lessons to improve their golf game but you'd be hard-pressed to find a poker player who, having watched a couple episodes of high stakes poker on television and bought a really cool pair of sunglasses, thinks they lost for any other reason than they're just unlucky.
I like what you wrote but...focusing on my breathing doesn't do much for me.
Breath, or breathing meditation (also know as anapanasati) is just one form of meditation. The idea that we're supposed to focus, or concentrate on our breath seems to be all pervasive. It is also wrong. Breathing meditation isn't about concentrating or focusing on the breath; in fact, it would be more correct to define it as 'anti-concentration'.
Dandansson wrote:
I find that mindfullness asks you to do stuff. Sometimes I just need to do nothing.
This is not my experience of mindfulness, either. Again, I know that there are a lot of the 'blind leading the blind' situations out there, but one of the reasons that I love practicing mindfulness so much is because it has helped me to 'do nothing' more effectively when I absolutely need to do nothing.
Dandansson wrote:
I do like exercices in which you are asked to feel your body. I think those are good but they are not mindfullness. It is more about other stuff, eg doing physical exercices and being aware of your body or just feel without trying to do anything.
Agreed.
Dandansson wrote:
Eating like this seems like a good idea:
It's a good start, I think. I eat one meal a day in a way that I define as 'mindful eating'. It's a bit more like a Japanese tea ceremony than the description in the video, but as I said, I think it's a good start.
edit: P.S. Let us say that I am in an office and I'm finding the ceiling light much too bright and obnoxious. Focusing on the light is just going to make it worse. Meditation is more like closing my eyes. I'm still aware of the bright, obnoxious light even through my eyelids - but it isn't nearly as bright or obnoxious now.
The mindfullness exercices I have found are a lot about "feel your left feet" and so. Body scan? You have to do stuff. You are being forced to feel. How would that be calming at all? But my concern is that people make mindfullness into this great thing that will help anyone. It feels like people never want to discuss the problems with it. Not all people will benefit from it.
And why look to the Asian traditions when we have our own traditions? Some people call it looking at the East.but I won't because the East can also refer to the Byzantine.
But my concern is that people make mindfullness into this great thing that will help anyone. It feels like people never want to discuss the problems with it. Not all people will benefit from it.
Just like with psychodynamics, CBT and virtually any psychological method. Each has some regions where it works and some where it doesn't.
Dandansson wrote:
And why look to the Asian traditions when we have our own traditions? Some people call it looking at the East.but I won't because the East can also refer to the Byzantine.
I'm into approach of looking for valuable and universal bits everywhere. Byzantine tradition has e.g. hesychasm as an interesting meditative practice.
_________________ Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.
Joined: 4 Jun 2021 Gender: Male Posts: 242 Location: Europe
10 Dec 2021, 6:22 am
magz wrote:
Dandansson wrote:
But my concern is that people make mindfullness into this great thing that will help anyone. It feels like people never want to discuss the problems with it. Not all people will benefit from it.
Just like with psychodynamics, CBT and virtually any psychological method. Each has some regions where it works and some where it doesn't.
Dandansson wrote:
And why look to the Asian traditions when we have our own traditions? Some people call it looking at the East.but I won't because the East can also refer to the Byzantine.
I'm into approach of looking for valuable and universal bits everywhere. Byzantine tradition has e.g. hesychasm as an interesting meditative practice.
I think mindfullness to me is "force yourself to be relaxed!". This is why I can't stand this word right now. This is the reason! If I am upset, angry, frustrated and so on I am not allowed to feel it and experience it. I must immeaditly go into "relax relax...". It never worked for me.
Joined: 29 Oct 2011 Gender: Female Posts: 13,364 Location: ᜆᜄᜎᜓᜄ᜔
10 Dec 2021, 7:29 am
Mindfulness... I take it as more of a means to start an actively deliberate focus challenge, or a physiological aide.
Usually if I feel pain or overwhelm, I would have to ground myself with it. Else, I'd probably fly half blind all over the place.
Relaxation techniques... It won't work with me because half the time, I'm already lax to begin with. My issue lies beyond psych and more into the realm of biology. So the best I could do with this, is altering my physiological states.
And... Something went off after a month of meditation for me. It no longer works for me the same way it should because my head is anticipating a high instead of clearing itself off. So... It just becomes sort of my sleep aide or stillness challenge.
But if emotions comes up... I get to observe it. Hopefully in safer times and places.
Joined: 26 Oct 2021 Age: 17 Gender: Female Posts: 153 Location: United States
10 Dec 2021, 10:45 am
CinderashAutomaton wrote:
_cora_ wrote:
Mindfulness is BS, to me. ...I have tried so hard to meditate, but it never does anything for me.
Maybe it's not the same as those people are talking about, but that doesn't mean there's nothing there.
I can agree with that. People seem to have a very strict way of seeing meditation. They act like you must think about nothing to meditate (which I can't do). Sometimes, I guess I do mindfulness, but not in the traditional way. Websites and people act like it isn't "real meditation", because what calms me isn't calming at all to them. If I wasn't embarrassed about what I think about to calm down, I could maybe think about that during stressful situations. For now, it's usually to calm down before I sleep. I don't want to say what I was thinking about!
Joined: 4 Jun 2021 Gender: Male Posts: 242 Location: Europe
12 Dec 2021, 5:21 am
_cora_ wrote:
CinderashAutomaton wrote:
_cora_ wrote:
Mindfulness is BS, to me. ...I have tried so hard to meditate, but it never does anything for me.
Maybe it's not the same as those people are talking about, but that doesn't mean there's nothing there.
I can agree with that. People seem to have a very strict way of seeing meditation. They act like you must think about nothing to meditate (which I can't do). Sometimes, I guess I do mindfulness, but not in the traditional way. Websites and people act like it isn't "real meditation", because what calms me isn't calming at all to them. If I wasn't embarrassed about what I think about to calm down, I could maybe think about that during stressful situations. For now, it's usually to calm down before I sleep. I don't want to say what I was thinking about!
10 Dec 2021, 4:18 am
My issue lies beyond psych and more into the realm of biology. 
