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ProfessorJohn
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31 May 2024, 11:44 pm

What specific things do they have that you want? Some of the things you mentioned earlier are things that many NTs don't have right now either. And some Aspies do have many of those things.



FrostBender
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01 Jun 2024, 7:17 am

ProfessorJohn wrote:
What specific things do they have that you want? Some of the things you mentioned earlier are things that many NTs don't have right now either. And some Aspies do have many of those things.


A better paying job so I can get out of my parents house.

Tons of friends and a girlfriend.

Knowing what to say in conversation.

Being well liked and respected.

Ability to pass as NT.

I can’t have any of those things as an autistic and i’m sick of trying. Unaliving myself seems like a better and better idea each day



ProfessorJohn
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01 Jun 2024, 10:12 am

A better paying job and moving out of your parents house is possible for an autistic, depending on the severity of your autism, which I don't know. I have accomplished that. What things have you done to try and improve your job prospects? Even some NTs haven't accomplished that yet. I didn't have much luck in getting jobs until I have finished college. I did get one in college but that was pretty much thru networking with others, something that definitely comes easier as an NT.

The other things definitely come easier to NTs, but are not impossible for Aspies. I have accomplished one or two of them, but it took longer than most NTs and I didn't get them to the level that NTs usually do. When you were diagnosed with Autism, did they give you any indication as to its level or severity?

And I will agree with you-having Autism sucks. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I didn't have it. I didn't learn I had it until I was 47 or 48. Before that I knew that I was different than other people and couldn't fit in, but I didn't know why. I also know that there is little I can do to treat it at this point, other than try to learn better social skills as best as I can, and learn the social conventions of the NT world because that is the world we live in and have to fit in. It isn't always easy and I still make more social screwups than most other people.

Unlike some of this board, I do not see any positives to ASD. If one wants to believe there are some, and that helps them to cope, if that works for them. But I just don't see any positives to it. I believe it makes my life more difficult than if I had been born an NT. Still, it is better than having to live at a quadrapaligic or severe Schizophrenic. 



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01 Jun 2024, 10:17 am

ProfessorJohn wrote:
A better paying job and moving out of your parents house is possible for an autistic, depending on the severity of your autism, which I don't know. I have accomplished that. What things have you done to try and improve your job prospects? Even some NTs haven't accomplished that yet. I didn't have much luck in getting jobs until I have finished college. I did get one in college but that was pretty much thru networking with others, something that definitely comes easier as an NT.

The other things definitely come easier to NTs, but are not impossible for Aspies. I have accomplished one or two of them, but it took longer than most NTs and I didn't get them to the level that NTs usually do. When you were diagnosed with Autism, did they give you any indication as to its level or severity?

And I will agree with you-having Autism sucks. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I didn't have it. I didn't learn I had it until I was 47 or 48. Before that I knew that I was different than other people and couldn't fit in, but I didn't know why. I also know that there is little I can do to treat it at this point, other than try to learn better social skills as best as I can, and learn the social conventions of the NT world because that is the world we live in and have to fit in. It isn't always easy and I still make more social screwups than most other people.

Unlike some of this board, I do not see any positives to ASD. If one wants to believe there are some, and that helps them to cope, if that works for them. But I just don't see any positives to it. I believe it makes my life more difficult than if I had been born an NT. Still, it is better than having to live at a quadrapaligic or severe Schizophrenic. 

Yeah, half of WP loves their autism because their parents left them with trust fund money or they get free money from the government to live in public housing and sperg out on special interests. Or, they have the smarts for a high paying job so they don’t struggle.

I struggle with job interviews. I’m too nervous. I also don’t want them to know i’m autistic.



ProfessorJohn
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01 Jun 2024, 10:34 am

Fortunately job interviewing skills can be learned. It will be harder for us to learn them than for NTs, but they can be learned. First, try not to think of your autism or hiding it from them when interviewing. Just look them in the eye as best as you can, try to fake your way through the interview as best as you can, and if you get the job you can let your performance on the job speak for itself. Lots of people struggle with social anxiety today so employers are probably more accepting of it today in interviews.

I think some people try to rationalize disorders, to make themselves feel better, or try to put a positive spin on things. R.D. Laing (British Psychiatrist) tried to put a positive spin on Schizophrenia and say it was a journey of self-discovery. Most Schizophrenics didn't agree with him.

Some people on here have a very negative view of NTs-seeing them as selfish, greedy, superficial individuals who only care about the current fad. Are there some NTs like that? Of course there are, but most I have met and gotten to know are not like that. If that is your view of all NTs, then I can see how you might see Autism in a positive, self-rightous way, believing you and other Aspies are not like that.



uncommondenominator
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01 Jun 2024, 5:16 pm

FrostBender wrote:
ProfessorJohn wrote:
What specific things do they have that you want? Some of the things you mentioned earlier are things that many NTs don't have right now either. And some Aspies do have many of those things.


A better paying job so I can get out of my parents house.

Tons of friends and a girlfriend.

Knowing what to say in conversation.

Being well liked and respected.

Ability to pass as NT.

I can’t have any of those things as an autistic


Baloney - plenty of autistics have all of these things, and many NTs don't have any of them.

FrostBender wrote:
and i’m sick of trying.


Ah, the actual crux of the matter. That's unfortunate, but "trying" never stops being part of the solution. If you think NTs just glide through life without a care or concern, and never have any of the same problems you do, you're misleading yourself.



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01 Jun 2024, 6:36 pm

uncommondenominator wrote:
FrostBender wrote:
ProfessorJohn wrote:
What specific things do they have that you want? Some of the things you mentioned earlier are things that many NTs don't have right now either. And some Aspies do have many of those things.


A better paying job so I can get out of my parents house.

Tons of friends and a girlfriend.

Knowing what to say in conversation.

Being well liked and respected.

Ability to pass as NT.

I can’t have any of those things as an autistic


Baloney - plenty of autistics have all of these things, and many NTs don't have any of them.

FrostBender wrote:
and i’m sick of trying.


Ah, the actual crux of the matter. That's unfortunate, but "trying" never stops being part of the solution. If you think NTs just glide through life without a care or concern, and never have any of the same problems you do, you're misleading yourself.

Being NT is better in my opinion. NTs may struggle, but they can bounce back better because they can rely on their friends



TwilightPrincess
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01 Jun 2024, 6:37 pm

Not all NTs have friends or a lot of friends.


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FrostBender
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01 Jun 2024, 7:00 pm

But they can get and keep jobs. They almost never get fired.



TwilightPrincess
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01 Jun 2024, 7:17 pm

Some NTs have trouble finding work or get fired. Some autistics don’t have trouble finding work and never get fired.

Just because a person is NT doesn’t mean they have it easy. There are lots of things that can make life challenging besides autism.


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01 Jun 2024, 7:22 pm

I’m sorry, but I can’t believe that NTs don’t have social problems.



blitzkrieg
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01 Jun 2024, 7:25 pm

I think the statistics speak for themselves in the UK at least, in regards to employment by each category (and I am sure it is a similar situation in the US and in other places).

Employment frequencies

NT: Over 80%
Disabled people in general: 50%
Autistic folk: 22%

"Employment: The Disability Employment Gap is still too wide, with around half of disabled people in work, compared to over 80% of non-disabled people. But the autism employment gap is even wider, with just 22% autistic people reported in paid work. We are really worried that out of all disabled people, autistic people seem to have the worst employment rate. While not all autistic people can work, we know most want to. The Government must improve the support and understanding autistic people get to find and keep work."

Source: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/news/new-data-on-the-autism-employment-gap



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01 Jun 2024, 7:27 pm

FrostBender wrote:
I’m sorry, but I can’t believe that NTs don’t have social problems.

It often is easier to have black and white opinions on topics than to have a more nuanced perspective. Often, folks strive to categorize people on here when the reality is that we (NTs and autistics) are all unique individuals with personal struggles and problems that others may have trouble appreciating or understanding.

NTs can be shy, introverted, socially awkward, anxious, etc. Even they have to work on social skills. It’s not a difficulty that only autistics experience. It’s a human thing.


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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 01 Jun 2024, 7:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

FrostBender
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01 Jun 2024, 7:27 pm

There’s no positives to being an autistic.



blitzkrieg
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01 Jun 2024, 7:28 pm

FrostBender wrote:
There’s no positives to being an autistic.


NT's generally have a way easier time than autistic folk do, I totally agree with you Frostbender.

*hugs*



TwilightPrincess
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01 Jun 2024, 7:30 pm

I never claimed that NTs in general don’t tend to have more success in certain domains than autistics. The claim was made that they never struggle with employment or social skills. That is incorrect.


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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 01 Jun 2024, 9:50 pm, edited 2 times in total.