Are you an Aspie if you want to be one?

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It's very simple, really.

Nobody wants to be different, but when a person goes through life being different but never has a good understanding of why, when family and teachers and friends have all these ordinary expectations which are unrealistic for him without help, and when he has no idea what sort of help he might need....then the diagnosis says that yes, your life can make sense. It can be a relief to know you are not alone, that you are not an isolated freak and you might have more ways to cope or compensate.....and yes a community of people on the computer et cetera.

For goodness' sake! There might be poseurs somewhere, not too many.

The reason there are adults looking for this diagnosis is that they want confirmation that here is an explanation for the difficult lives they are living, and even hope that they might do a bit better.

We've been struggling along, trying to act nt, adapting, even adapting somewhat successfully (tho in my case the fact is my family has always helped, I've only had a job for about 6 years and I'm 54. I'm not lazy either.)

If you were diagnosed in high school or earlier you might not know what it is like to go through all these difficulties without even knowing what to expect. Having the diagnosis doesn't cause the condition. And when somebody can say to you, "hold on! this is what you have to watch out for if you want to have a conversation with people in your family or people you just met" or if you just want to meet people who have a clue what is going on, it helps a great deal if you can put a name to the condition.

When I was in elementary school I was brought to the Yale Child Guidance Center for therapy. That was in '61 or '62. That was helpful, but after that all I heard was that I must be lazy, that I needed to conform, to learn how to catch and throw and ride a bike. I didn't have a clue. And I was bullied, I stood out, I was abused. I was confused and unable to keep friends. This is not a whim or something that sort of fits. In my case at least Ive already had the lifetime of misery, and a lifetime of dreams and unrealistic expectations and failures. I could feel plenty sorry for myself and I have, too.

I'm so lucky to have financial support from my family but they never could sit down and explain to me what my problems are, why I need their financial help, and I haven't really felt like I could belong, I felt like a burden. They always said I had an incredible mind but they never wanted my opinion about anything and I didn't know how to talk with them.

It just comes down to this, the diagnosis doesn't change who you are, but if your life doesn't make any damn sense it's nice to find out anything that can help you understand what's going on!! !! It's good to have wp to rant in.

I never asked to be an Aspie; I was born this way, but I just make the most of it and try to use my skills to my advantages, like I read about online. Just make the most out of what you have and all will be ok. I don't plan on doing anything to alter what I have even if there was a cure for Asperger's I wouldn't take it as I like the way Asperger's had made me today.

(disclaimer: undecided)
I have to agree with emergingartist. Get a grip, people. There's no AS fad, and having asperger's is not fashionable :s

What you do have, is a lot of 30 and 40-year olds who didn't have a chance to get diagnosed when they were younger, and are only discovering the "checklist" now. Does that mean they're wannabes and posers? I don't think so. I tend to think that anybody who seriously considers such an extreme diagnosis probably has a good reason to.

Are you gay if you want to be gay?

Are you blind if you want to be blind?

Are you socially inept if you want to be socially inept?

Well, yes.

At least in the United States, the federal government does not classify your race for you any more. For the Census (or for other reasons that your race might be recorded), you report what you want to report. You could be a blue-eyed blonde, but if you put down "black", then the federal government has to accept it.

Some state goverments, particularly in the South, might be different. But, for the federal government, you are what you say you are.

To be 400 pounds, well, you might have to eat at McDonalds a lot, but you can get there.

Lesbian? Well, again, that is also up to you.

Are you gay if you want to be gay?

- Yeah, you're probably a bit gay if you want to be gay :p

Are you blind if you want to be blind?

- Nope

Are you socially inept if you want to be socially inept?

- No, I don't think a normal person can fake true "ineptness". You'd have to be a pretty sensational actor.

WELL SAID!! !! !! 40+ year old here that only heard about AS a few years ago. I looked at the checklist, and was like ****WOW****! It said things I tried to say but gave up trying to explain.

Did I like it because it explained my social ineptness? OF COURSE! But HECK, it even explains my inability to maintain relationships, reluctance to remember dates, problems with catch, sensitivity to certain pitches, lights, ability to stay in absurdly low temperatures, attitude, etc,,, I actually learned and relearned some things about me. HECK, I remembered going to a psychiatrist when I was a little kid. It turns out I ALSO saw a psychologist. That was because I wasn't interacting with kids.

If it was cheaper, and there was no stigma, you can BET I would have been diagnosed already. If I don't have AS, it is VERY close. MAN is it close. Frankly, I don't know of anything else that is close enough.

I just had a different thought about the whole acting Aspergic thing. It can be used as an excuse to a degree. Lazy unmotivated selfish ppl who haven't made a success of themselves in any way could easily go "I'm autistic; it's not my fault". Which is ironically what my mum thinks I'm doing. But I'm not, btw

Well, AS DOES explain why I am not as successful as I could be.(Too honest, too socially inept. Not a good negotiator, etc...) In MY case, I have to work harder to get LOW 6 figures. MEANWHILE, some jerk CLAIMS to "manage" me(in reality they generally do NOTHING), and they make mid to high 6 figures. Someone ELSE parlays that into a high six figures to mid 7 figures sum.

Outside of the dishonesty, inflation, and someone ELSE benefiting from my work more than I am, I am happy and successful.

HEY, a couple people I have spoken with here managed to do better than I do and make themselves over TWICE what I make. I say make themselves, because they pay others still more.

BTW For comparison sake. The average NT on the job makes LOW 5 figures!

I like trick questions. My trick answer is to let God decide.

QFT.

It's not about being hip. And if bullying is a problem (which it is), it's the bullies that need to change, not us. We may be annoying, weird and socially inept. We are not bad people who deserve to be mistreated.

There is a guy on another topic that asked how to study for an AS diagnosis. If that's not someone not AS trying to be AS then I don't know what is.

I would not wish Asperger's on my worst enemy either.
I prefer to keep my enemies at as much of a disadvantage as possible.

I don't understand why people blame the ostracization, bullying, etc, on the people who are different rather than the people undertaking the actual actions of ostracizing and bullying people.

Anyone who wants to have Asperger's Syndrome doesn't have it. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I've learned to accept it and work around it somewhat, but some people apparently have a harder time in doing that.

Aspie "traits" vs social misfunction is the key to the difference. Yeah, we all have neurotic little things, but how NTs cope is a whole different thing. I just think AS is different and dealing with NT ways of the world cracks on self esteem. Really, if the world can accommodate to left handed and right handed people, can't the world accept different ways of processing, interpreting and thinking in people? Is it evolution to think differently? There is such a lack of awareness in the NT world. As surprised as and AS may be to an NT comment or action, ditto for us. But we just don’t know AS exists. NTs live in their own little world. AS have to adapt. Perhaps if NT knew anything about AS and all the undiagnosed AS found out they have a name to their differentness, being AS and different brained would compliment the lacking in society and the workforce.

Sorry, I just get so mad that I never knew, and no one knows…