"What is it like to have Aspergers?"

Post Reply New Topic

Hm... If I were asked this question, I'd probably begin by explaining to them how I see myself as somebody who exists between autism and normality. I can describe my autistic tendencies, but at the same time look at them critically and explain my thoughts. I can't handle loud noises well, which, combined with the social demands, explains why I can't be found at dances, yet people think I'm normal enough to have no problem. It's that sort of thing... being more irked by one thing than others would be, but not showing it in the same way.

Wow, this was a rambling. In short, it's the state where one can describe autistic behavior critically through a first-person perspective.

No, I'm not offended at all - in fact it does answer the question in a way; the point is that even if the NT's were feeling just as uncomfortable as I was, it didn't seem to affect their behaviour.

Whereas I remained in my own little bubble and was barely interacting with them at all. Not through any choice of mine, but because of the way they did not even seem aware of my presence. It was almost as if I was invisible. Why did no-one notice my predicament and start introducing me to a few people?

The alcohol point is relevant also - it seems to help NT's fit in with others, but while it may well loosen my tongue, it would also make me much more likely to say something totally inappropriate to the situation. I have learned the hard way that sometimes it is better to say nothing than to say the wrong thing to the wrong person!

Your hands don't work right, you can't speak well, you remember too much of everything, you can't get your mind off certain topics, you don't stand or walk right, you can't tell when someone isn't being sincere, etc.

now

I think it feels rather like Tom Hanks role in " Big". ( am I imagining things or does Hanks make a speciality of aspie/AD spectrum style roles? Gump and that man in an airport?!etc.....)
I , and my 8 year old son!, couldn't understand why anyone given all the freedom of adulthood would reject it,( except in a sentimentally doctored hollywood film ending!), thought it was awful and typical that he "chooses" to go back to the restricted position of a child, with all the loss of rights this entails , at the end.
But I identify with a LOT of how he functions. A lot of his experience of the adult world. How he is not believed, how he doesn't understand insincerity,how he says honestly what he's thinking, how he doesn't quite get trad sexual relationships either, how he doesn't "get" lots of stuff!! !
The only thing I don't identify with is his SUCCESS!! !!
"The Piano"
Some aspects of " Dancer in the Dark"
Julianne Moore's 50's housewife in "The Hours"
Seth Brundle in " The Fly"
Jonathan Pryce's role in " Brazil"
The central intelligence in " I, Robot"
Some bits of "Eraserhead" and the crucial reality clash in "Blue Velvet".
All the characters in "Ferris Bueller's day off" mixed up together!! !
Pink in "The Wall"
The role played by Christine Lahti in "Housekeeping", and the girl who leaves with her.

I love these films. For me they are shorthand ways of saying "This is how it feels". ( tho' Carl Jung in " memories, dreams, reflections" often sounds like me too, I don't think it's so useful as a way of saying what it feels like! ! !!)
( I'm sure I've missed some out.)

I have a classmate who has a younger sister that was diagnoised with Asperger's just this year. We were discussing different things and she happened to ask me what its like having Asperger's. I told her it was like stumbling on to a stage when a play is in progress and everyone expecting you to know the lines. It also sometimes feels like there's a wall between me and everyone else. I'm the only one who can see the wall so I'm the only one who knows its there. I'm watching all the "normal" people but I can't ever be one.

I've often found the X-Men to be a good analogy as well.