When phone callers start with "How are you?"

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I miss the old-fashioned english way of answering that question "mustn't grumble". It says so much, and can be interpreted in so many ways, that it's just as meaningless as the question itself is.

ARGH!! ! This *STUPID* phrase is so obviously a huge problem to most (all?) of us with AS. Just READING the whole process out gives me this creepy feeling.

I *love* some of these responses you guys are coming up with.

The best I can manage so far is something like mumbling "uh....<brief pause as I process what they're REALLY saying>...okay" and continuing walking or changing the subject.

I would outlaw that whole stupid exchange if I could. Maybe it's all a secret test t out Aspies?
Take the question literally? Don't go through the whole exchange? Then it's:

"Okay sir, you're coming with us!"

My friends don't ask, so i know if someone does ask, they don't really care, so i just say "fine" and get it out of the way

I think I should invent a translation device for understanding what NTs are on about.

Just say "fine". If you say "Fine, how are you?" you are now engaging in conversation that is meaningless. You can come up with humorous things like "Bad hemorrhoid day" or "suicidally overwhelmed", but make sure you know the person. You may be considered an a**hole for not engaging in the how are you part, but if you are thought of as an a-hole, people will leave you alone unless they have a purpose to annoy you. I swear I have saved hours of needless chit chat by taking this approach, but I am busy…

Whenever somebody asks how I am doing, I say "normal". They don't know that normal is a bad thing, so everything is fine.

When asked "How are you?" I tend to feel awkward too.
I never really know how to respond to that.
In response, I'm beginning to enjoy the stereotypical Jewish response of "How should I be?"
That tends to effectively sidestep the fear I apparently have about lying about my feelings.
I'm not Jewish by blood, but I am a Christian, and so I do regard myself as a Jew because of that.

For myself, it's not a lie; while I don't have a deep and sincere desire to know every detail of the person's day, I do hope they're having a good day, and knowing how they're doing may be very helpful to me in how I phrase what I say next. So I do want to know if they're having a bad day, although not always the details. For example:

Me: "How are you?"
Them: "Things are kind of crazy here right now."
Me: "Should I call back later?"

Me: "How are you?"
Them: "Stressed!"
Me: "I'm calling because I got your email saying you need X, I can do that if you want me to."

Me: "How are you?"
Them: "I'm doing great today!"
Me: *knows that the person is in a good mood and now is probably a good time to ask something important*


So I think of "fine" or "okay" as meaning "none of the above."

I have stock answers for this myself if I'm having a bad day, usually such things as "I'd be better if it were Friday" or (in the afternoon) "It's been a tough day but at least it's almost over" or (in the morning) "Rough day so far but it has to get better from here." Those are all good because everyone can relate to them, but they're not too personal while still conveying the information.

This is great...lol...we are much funnier than NTs anyday...

I never answer the phone from people I don't know, so I really don't have this problem on the phone. But in person? Ugh. I too just answer with "fine" or "good" to get it out of the way. I've actually worked in the retail world for the last 7 years, which is very challenging, but this question is at the top of my evil list. I never ask customers how they are doing. I can't bring myself to do it, because I know it's a totally fake question. Even if I really do care, which I do. I can handle this question, though, but I HATED the trend of people saying "what's up?". I SO DID NOT KNOW HOW TO ANSWER THIS! I still don't know what it means. Am I just supposed to say hi? Or really tell them what I'm up to? GAH!