Complex PTSD as Result of Severe Bullying
richardbenson
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Joined: 30 Oct 2006
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Averick
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Age: 45
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Location: My tower upon the crag. Yes, mwahahaha!
My first husband threw me on our bed, sat on me, and strangled me. He had both his hands around my neck and was asking me something (I can't remember what) and I was trying to answer but I couldn't make a sound. I was kicking and slapping him but I remember realizing that I wasn't strong enough to get away. Finally he got up and walked out of the room. My throat was sore for days.
I never told anyone for years. When I finally told my current husband, I started sobbing hysterically (this was in the middle of a mall, much to our mutual embarrassment) and I was saying "Why did he do it?" and I felt as if it had JUST happened. I felt this huge sense of fear and betrayal and surprise. Surprise about something that happened years ago!
I can't remember arguments. Even in the middle of an argument, I forget what I'm arguing about, or what has just been said. I think it was a coping mechanism in my first marriage.
Probably getting a divorce was the best thing that ever happened to you. If you keep having problems, see someone professional. Sounds to me like you were a battered wife, and that's serious.
good luck
BTDT
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Ana54, aka Anastashia Florinyeva, Anastassia Florine, Florina, Florinka, Florinevna- Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified. Not Delay. Disorder. NO I'm not SLOW, but YES I'm a MESS! - Undiagnosed Post Humiliation Stress Disorder.
I'd be interested in the symptoms. (not making fun of you. I've just never heard of that one).
Btdt
(know this thread is an older one, but felt a need to bring it up again.)
so--have been diagnosed with PTSD and strongly, strongly suspect AS.
this is interesting because i've also been thinking about cortisol levels.
i definitely have PTSD--night terrors, quick startle response, general fight-or-flight.
on the other hand, suspect cortisol levels are low. (low BP, likely hypoglycemic, etc.)
rambling for now--may reach a point.
i suspect PTSD and complex PTSD are pretty common among AS/ASD people. (bullying as kids usually, live in a confusing world, gullibility often picked up on by abusers, exploited.)
so: this is the conclusion to the rambling? what's effective PTSD treatment for those one the spectrum? has anyone experienced this? do others find they have more difficulty at times being believed by (traditional) therapists, or in expressing their feelings in a therapeutic setting?
has anyone tried seeing a neuropsychologist for treatment of PTSD? was it successful? how did it differ from "traditional" therapy?
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punctuation... life is full of punctuation.
There is absolutely no doubt I have PTSD. Although I was bullied in school, that still wasn't bad enough for me to develop PTSD, which has come from events I have experienced as an adult. It has been especially and increasingly bad in the past year. I have been allowed to experience so many traumatic experiences in the last decade that there isn't sufficient time to recover before another happens. These experiences have more often than not involved neighbours.
I have loads of flashbacks, most of my dreams can be considered nightmares, and my experiences have brought on a very wide range of cues that trigger off panic.
I recently asked my GP for help with my PTSD. He would not offer or refer me to any help specific to PTSD. He blamed my PTSD on Asperger's, saying it's the Asperger's that I need help for. When, as we all know, Asperger's is not a cause of PTSD.
The reason he blamed Asperger's is because, sometimes, people with AS do things (not necessarily bad things but things that cause confusion in others, things that aren't stereotypical, different from others, or act ways that others do not in social situations) that cause negative reactions in others, they lash out and it gives us PTSD.
i have ongoing PTSD (have had some treatment, but limited), and was re-triggered pretty badly this past year. the long-and-short: i'm sick to death of traditional therapy. half the time, it just seems like nonsense, and i'm tired of the PD misdiagnoses. (sorry, therapist #whatever. but i'm just not schizotypal).
wondering if anyone has dealt with this issue with a neuropsychologist (along with ASD issues.)
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punctuation... life is full of punctuation.
I have PTSD from my tics (de la Tourette's), I think. Or at least I think it's possible to have PTSD from a mixture of having tics and extreme bullying.
diagnosed PTSD by three different professionals. it was caused by living with a bully for years. I'm learning to control my reactions although the bully still tries to push the buttons. I just don't let him near me anymore so the only way he can hurt me is by using my kids, which is getting harder for him to get away with.
If you've got either of them, get treatment. AS itself doesn't cause PTSD. But it can sure complicate it. Bullying (for years) does cause PTSD.
PTSD leads to all sorts of nasty things.
Get treatment
btdt
I have mild PTSD from constant bullying from peers and authority figures.
Tory_canuck
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Joined: 8 Jun 2009
Age: 39
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Location: Red Deer, Alberta, Canada
Fatigue with symptoms of or similar to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (formerly ME)-I find I am up alot, dont sleep much, and when I do Im still tired.
An overwhelming desire for acknowledgement, understanding, recognition and validation of their experienceA simultaneous and paradoxical unwillingness to talk about the bullying (click here to see why) or abuse (click here to see why)-dont like talking about it much to my family and close friends
A lack of desire for revenge, but a strong motivation for justice-always have thoughts of suing the bullies as well as urging other bullying victims to seek legal action against their tormentors
A tendency to oscillate between conciliation (forgiveness) and anger (revenge) with objectivity being the main casualty-I switch between these two
Clumsiness-Im pretty clumsy at times.When I worked at Vegreville coop I was pretty clumsy.
Forgetfulness-I am very forgetful.
A constant feeling that one has to justify everything one says and does-I always try to justify everything I do.
A constant need to prove oneself, even when surrounded by good, positive people-I work extra hard at work and always feel I must prove myself to keep my job.I always have feelings of inadequacy.They all say Im doing good, but even if i make one small mistake, I am angry at myself and hard on myself about it.
Feelings of worthlessness, rejection, a sense of being unwanted, unlikeable and unlovable-Always have these feelings.As a result, I try too hard in the friendship department.I once tried too hard and ended up losing a friend because of it.
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Honour over deciet, merit over luck, courage over popularity, duty over entitlement...dont let the cliques fool you for they have no honour...only superficial deceit.
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southwestforests
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Joined: 18 Jul 2009
Age: 62
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Posts: 1,138
Location: A little ways south of the river
I can tell you one thing what can cause a man to abuse a woman
The man with undiagnosed Asperger's is having a meltdown.
The woman he is married to is making fun of him for it.
The man asks repeatedly for the woman to stop ridiculing him.
The woman waves her finger in the man's face and says "I'll use ridicule whenever I want to. I'll keep using ridicule. And you'll just learn to live with it"
The man remembers that his brother's wife went from ridiculing the brother to taking a knife to try to kill the brother.
The man remembers all the classmates, co-workers, bosses, parents, who have made fun of him throughout his life.
The man feels his worst nightmare has just come true - his helpmate, his love, his shelter, has just torn him down, destroyed and devalued him, in the worst way possible. And may go the same way as his brother's wife - after all, she's also overweight and dark haired just like the brother's wife - she's the same - and will do the same thing.
The man decides he now has nothing to lose.
Now, any questions as to why abuse happened?
_________________
"Every time you don't follow your inner guidance,
you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness."
- Shakti Gawain
An overwhelming desire for acknowledgement, understanding, recognition and validation of their experienceA simultaneous and paradoxical unwillingness to talk about the bullying (click here to see why) or abuse (click here to see why)-dont like talking about it much to my family and close friends
A lack of desire for revenge, but a strong motivation for justice-always have thoughts of suing the bullies as well as urging other bullying victims to seek legal action against their tormentors
A tendency to oscillate between conciliation (forgiveness) and anger (revenge) with objectivity being the main casualty-I switch between these two
Clumsiness-Im pretty clumsy at times.When I worked at Vegreville coop I was pretty clumsy.
Forgetfulness-I am very forgetful.
A constant feeling that one has to justify everything one says and does-I always try to justify everything I do.
A constant need to prove oneself, even when surrounded by good, positive people-I work extra hard at work and always feel I must prove myself to keep my job.I always have feelings of inadequacy.They all say Im doing good, but even if i make one small mistake, I am angry at myself and hard on myself about it.
Feelings of worthlessness, rejection, a sense of being unwanted, unlikeable and unlovable-Always have these feelings.As a result, I try too hard in the friendship department.I once tried too hard and ended up losing a friend because of it.
yep. busted.
occasionally i get angry at the actual abusers. but mostly i want to stop the _____ war. (fill in the blank. whichever happens to be going on at any given time.)
i get FURIOUS when my perceptions are invalidated. at the same time: what happened? who me? never think about it, sure.
worthlessness? i vacillate between believing i'm a worthless bother and being convinced of it.
it inhales.
i've nooo idea what to do. had only one therapist who had a clue and she was short term. (worked at a crisis center.) PTSD on top of general aspie traits makes relating to the world so much more.... how should i put it? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHGGHH.
that basically sums it up.
still wondering: anyone have any treatment that worked pretty well (taking AS/ASD traits into account?) i'm pretty fed up with the regular therapy routine. also, my AS traits once led to a misdiagnosis of schizotypal pd---which in turn gave the therapist all the excuse she needed to INVALIDATE ALL MY PERCEPTIONS. (i was "delusional." )
seems like i would have delusions about something other than violence and abuse. but it's not just the abuse of authority (as far as that therapist went.) it's the sloppy thinking.
i'd still like to know what's worked for people; what's not.
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Tory_canuck
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Joined: 8 Jun 2009
Age: 39
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Location: Red Deer, Alberta, Canada
Working at the coop in vegreville for two years before going to college helped a bit.The bosses and co workers were all nice and so were the customers.I was clumsy there for a while but it started to go away as I neared my time to move to Red Deer for college. At coop I was slowly improving and gaining confidence.It was kinda therapeudic in a sense that the customers were nice and so were the co workers and when I was working, I worked at my own pace and wasn't pressured.Nobody bullied me, I was given space, but not ignored.
However, here in Red Deer during the school year, my classmates ignored me, and the one friend I had here decided he didnt like me all of a sudden.After nasty messages from his other friend, things went completely downhill again.Thankfully I have a job at a store and I am starting to rebuild what I had once gained at coop.
I still have many of these issues, but hopefully time will heal the wounds.If not, then I can always seek help since the college does have a student support centre.
_________________
Honour over deciet, merit over luck, courage over popularity, duty over entitlement...dont let the cliques fool you for they have no honour...only superficial deceit.
ALBERTAN...and DAMN PROUD OF IT!!