jazzguy,
You are not only welcome here, but watching you spar with the concept, you are showing traits.
There is a differance between Professional Aspies, those who have been Dxed, those who have looked at every option with obsessive interest, and old free range aspies like me.
I only recently learned it existed, mostly by defining what it is not, hence my point of view.
An inability in social communication, lack of eye contact, and personal interest overriding what everyone knows you should be doing, which they can't explain, because, everyone knows.
A normal to above IQ, and no other pervasive mental condition. Aspies can become depressed, one out of seven I hear is treated for depression, that is the big world, not us. It is the most common human condition, does respond to pills, and getting to the bottom of the cause, pills are often no longer needed.
Depression can lead to siezures, and sleeping problems.
So I can agree with your doctors.
You had an unrealized case of AS. It lead to severe depression, with side effects, they have stablized you.
You spar well here, your depression is under control, or you would be screaming at these annoying aspies, you deal with stress well, and I am sure you will come to terms with the cause of your depression, it is very treatable.
It was most likely caused by trying to be normal, fit in, and everything not working. We do that a lot. The problem is, AS is hardly noticeable, yet it affects what is most important to humans, communication.
We are so close, we try so hard, and people read us as uncaring a**holes and worse, thinking we are doing it on purpose, while we are trying as hard as we can to get through.
The big problem is not knowing there is a real reason, and taking it as a personal fault, I am just wierd and messed up.
It is not so, we are good humans, with a communication problem, and much of it can be overcome by adaptave behavior, a little kindness, and common sense.
Most got by with no help, no knowledge, for the last few thousand years. Doctors have their faults, this is new to most, only since 1994, and errors have been made. They are good when something has to be done now. As you describe your life, they did right by you. One well earned point for the Doctors.
I see no doctors, take no drugs, and though myself a personallity type, not common, but not beyond being a human. At first I resented that it was a syndrome, yes I fit the traits, but where is the problem? First I found myself here, but not with all that other stuff, and doubted I fit. Then I saw it as a catchall, people who do not fit other criteria. It does not really exist. That would be good if it would go away, but...
So now I am back to saying yes, a light case, no co-morbids, but I am kidding myself, my depression was just not that bad. I am you minus a few bad days.
I am still trying to define the exact communication problem. In person, problems, over the Internet, I sell on ebay, no problems at all. We are very close, and very far away. I eat Asian food, for Asians see a white devil, but Americans act like they see a demon. Sometimes I get by, sometimes people act like they want to kill me. I flip some switch on some people.
What I have found is I can talk to people on WP, and they have the same background. It is a support site. It is also not like other things, a drunk can stop drinking, we can never stop. We seem to learn to get by, but not to really ever fit in.
OK, it beats shooting up insulin, taking heart meds, being on death row, but still, some more work to do.
You are welcome and belong here, because you came here to talk out your problems, laid your cards on the table, and have tried to understand. AS may seem to be trying to be annoying, but that is just the way they speak, which is the problem, but give us this one place where we can live without the masks.
We each have something to offer, a point of view. I am good with sixty year old men who have just discovered this, and make no sense out of all that alphabet code. You too have a good point of view, the sudden and total education you got. Others will follow your path, you can help them.
Welcome, deal with one thing at a time at your pace, please stay.
05 Nov 2007, 8:36 am
