How Old Do You Feel?

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Lol! Out of interest, just how old are they? I don't know many 7-year-olds who are that handy with a computer, let alone know how to spell!

I'm 19 and in college and feel like a middle schooler generally. I mean I can hold a good conversation with someone my age and act my age but I generally dont like doing it so I only do it when I have to. Although I dont mind talking to people older then me probably because there were always teachers I talked to when other students were being jerks. But then agian intellectually I am generally up there with some of the smartest kids in school (though because I dont process stuff like them and get extremely bored with my hw my GPA is often times alot lower.) A good example of this is the fact that I took as many AP classes my senior year as all but one of my classmates did (and the classmate that took more was a freak who seemed to love touturing herself like that.) So in conclusion who knows.

well Kitten;
i should probably explain a bit better, but i hope it doesn't put people off.
my *children* are not biological in nature; they are cerebral. which is to say that they, and i, reside in the same *skin-sack*; that skin-sack being named *fiver*.
we don't all have the same skills, but it seems that we mostly have access to the same dexterity.....

fiver of the little thousand.....

That's what I guessed. Do you consider yourself to have DID or do you find that terminology inaccurate/offensive? ((I honestly am not trying to provoke you, I do want to know, and if you do find the term inaccurate/offensive I will try to remember not to use it on you; to me it's only a clinical term, neither good nor bad, but then again, I'd rather think of myself as "moody" than "bipolar" (I swear! I'm not!) The term doesn't bug me but I don't think it applies to me.))

No worries Fiver, I think the thought had ocurred to me too, and it certainly doesn't put me off! Out of curiosity, do you also go by the alias of echoesandspectres?

Serissa;
(is that how You like to be addressed?)

we have read what it is that You write every time fiver sees Your icon. i find You very intelligent and open for the chronological age that You have admitted too. and too, we find the *stuff* that You have said that You have to deal with on a daily bases to be more than Your fare share. but i am guessing that it is all of that which makes You so very considerate of fiver's feeling when asking about what most doctor's now call *DID*.

Thank You for that; You are most Kind...

frankly, i don't think that anyone has ever given us a choice before as to how we would want this *condition* to be known.
in strictly technical terms; it's an old diagnoses known as *poly fragmented personality* (i will not use the term disorder).

it seems as the theory goes; autistic people have a unique way of *multiplicity* or splitting; or so we were told. in fiver's *system*, there is not "executive authority" or primary personality as in most normal people with this problem. to be honest, this is the first group in a very long time in which we have been trying hard to watch our use of *plural* or *third person speak*. in the two adult yahoo Groups that fiver is in; there is a very Dominant and Protective older Male Who Owns the Groups and watches out after all of us no matter who is out and posting. so in those Groups, it's like a play ground for my children most of the time, and all the Adults in the two Groups are usually understanding. though at times Mr. Dean Sir has had to give the odd person the boot when they weren't being nice. so the children feel very safe there.

but of course, there are no *spectrum people* in those other Groups. i have tried to participate in a group for Aspies before, but they seemed very intellectually snobbish, and showed a total lack of the respect for one another that i have learned through both the military, and the leather communities here in seattle and online.

i try and let nothing offend me; it's something i had to teach myself in grade school. but as to how people term what fiver is, well; she *is* many things. but as to having a few too many personalities in our head; i went through 4 plus years of consoling before the guy figured out that i was a *poly* and couldn't be *fixed* or recombined no matter how much time was spent trying. it's the way autistic people compartmentalize things i think.

i have never known a time alone in the sense that i now understand that most people are alone. we have always talked to each other inside, and i never knew that was strange until after i was married to my now Ex-Husband.

i hope that this answers Your questions.... but if not, just ask; we will answer....

fiver & friend's......

no, Kitten;
i have never heard of that name. and just so that people will know; *fiver* is our real *legal* name.
the only other name that fiver has is aboriginal in nature, and was given to her when she was very very young by her father's brother.

5er

Fiver, I'm just wondering... do you all have different names? I'm just finding it a tad difficult to sort out which you's are you... the adults in the yahoo groups, are they you or are they other adults?

Sorry, just takes a bit to get my head around! Perhaps an introduction to yourselves is in order?

Ah, I was just checking, as you are not the first Aspie I know who comes in multiples! If you ever want someone to chat to, echoesandspectres can be found at http://www.livejournal.com/users/echoesandspectres : haven't spoken to her in a while, but I'm sure she would be happy to friend you!

As for your name, it's cool! I'm guessing you legally changed it? Do you have a surname? Just wondering, hope I'm not prying too much! I mean well!

I'm not really a multiple per se, but I often refer to myself in the third person or as the royal we... oh, and I'm a cat: now THAT tends to confuse people a bit! An no, I'm not just being silly, I have a helluva time trying to explain it to people, and usually end up getting called all sorts of names in the process! Lovely!

<Giggles....>
Oh No, Kitten;

for the most part, it is only fiver's children who post in those two Adult yahoo Groups. and everyone in those two Groups knows that they are fiver's *cerebral children* or *child personalities*. the one place you can be sure to find adult women with child personalities is in the leather community (or world of BDSM). in fiver's case, she is just way more open about it, and her children are a bit different due to internal organization. what i talked about as being *poly fragmented*.

i learned when i was young not to talk out loud when we were talking inside. and i just assumed it was logical that everyone had an inside world just as i did. being autistic and very nonverbal and isolated growing up, i didn't have any friends with which to compare. and as everyone else only got one name; it never occurred to me to name anyone else. besides that, i have a problem that might have something to do with this. i am *face blind* as i think they call it. it's very easy for me to lose people and not know where they are. i don't have any memory for names or faces. and i can't put one with the other at all. in fact my Husband had to wear a fedora (felt hat) when ever He and i went out. this was so that i could find Him in a restraint or room full of people. even then, the children would seldom leave His side in crowds.

inside, we know each other by characteristic's in the same way i use to recognize other people in the world. the pattern of your behavior is what i see and come to know about you.

the other thing about our children is that i don't tend to let them take on names in the sense that most people think of *names*. there is a child who comes out and drives for the system most anything that fiver gets behind the wheel. that person is known as *driver*. and even though like the rest of the children; driver is only 7, she is the best of drivers and has been doing most of this *skin-sack's* driving all it's chronological life. the problem comes as i have found when a person like our Ex-Husband has given a pet name to one or more of the children. He can always call out those particular people whenever He wants to regardless of who is out or what the skin-sack is doing at the time. that is something that i have learned that can't allow except in the case of a responsible Adult within a committed relationship.

people who have known fiver for a long time; weather it be in person or online, have told me that they can tell who is out by how we behave or write. even our *ticks* or *stems* change from person to person i have been told.

i do still have a lot of time loss under stress, but when reading stuff on the computer, we all try to make sure that everyone has been told what is going on. and probably most important of all; we as a system take full responsibility for what any one or more of us do; either online or in real life. it truly pisses me off when some multiple does something nasty to someone and then says, well that wasn't me! there is only one damn skin-sack here regardless of how many of us share it. and we have ways inside of dealing with noncooperative types who will not *toe the line*.

We are *fiver*
we are *one*......

Ahh ok, SLOWLY getting there! Do forgive me if I slip up and get confused! I think I thought you had names because you mentioned a Jennifer.

Oh, and does Fiver mean that there are five of you?

One year older than i was this time last year.

my full name is
*fiver hrairoo loren*
and yes, it was changed in the divorce. the children were very unhappy about the whole thing, and asked the attorney if they could keep their last name and change their first and middle names.

the judge got all kinds of pissed off as i remember it, but the children were sitting there with their teddy bear in their arms beside the attorney while She told the judge where she could legally put it......
and that's how i came to that name....

and Your personality, Kitten;
it does seem to catch the essence of several of the felines that i have lived with in the past.....

*****************************
in looking before posting this time, i will try and answer the new questions too.

have you ever read the Book by Richard Adams;
"WaterShip Down"

*fiver* was one of the characters in that book. a bunny of some talent; the runt of a large litter. He was so named because rabbits can't count past four, so in their world, any number above that is *fiver*. and there had already been four kits in the litter that fiver had been born in.
the name *hrairoo* is the Lapine equivalent of *fiver*. it is a *diminutive*, and means *little thousand* in rabbit speak (Lapine).

Jennifer is the oldest of us in the system and the system protector; She is 18.
it should be noted that the skin-sack is 51, but it's social/emosional age at which each person interacts with adults that seems to provide them with an age. their age oriented world & play interest so to speak. i think that this is effected by the autistic condition......

fiver and the consortium

Lol, I can just imagine the look on the judge's face...

You are right...all of you!

we "all" Thank You, Tom.......