Why are Many with AS so passive and unwilling to fight back?

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To say that standing up for yourself and physical violence coupled with lying and manipulation are the same thing is lunacy.

It's bad advice and a stupid attitude to have. Especially when you are basically saying it's okay to physically attack people who are simply giving you a hard time or make you feel bad.

You see, I'm not a pacifist. If someone attacks me physically, they'll most likely wake up in a hospital bed. If it comes to a fight for my life, I have no concerns about being absolutely brutal to defend myself. But you're telling people to go out and punch up fellow workers or people who are pushing you around. That's simply the behaviour of an a*hole, not someone sticking up for themself.

Do me a favour, if you do finally snap and bludgeon some poor loser with your fist, then fake a crying fit like you suggest, please, don't tell them you have Asperger's! It's bad enough having people thinking we're ret*d, without them thinking we're violent psychopaths as well.

Why don't I "fight back" physically?

Because I have no intention of spending the next 12 to 15 in prison for manslaughter. And when I fight (which, thankfully, is rarely), my rational mind is not in control. And the one in control doesn't want to stop until my opponent is no longer moving.

Why would I want that?

If someone started a fight with me, I'll certainly fight back.

However, I got to where I am today by generally treating people in such a way so that them starting a fight wasn't ever possible.

I'm happy to say I've never got in a fight with or was picked on by anyone.

Trust me, the last thing I am is passive. I went to a rough school district for a while and it was basically living hell. When I was younger, I learned Tae Kwon Do and quickly became good at it. So whenever I did have to fight (which was often, unfortunately), I was often able to win, despite how small I was. So I don't like having to fight, but I won't just let people harrass me or anything I like. I will not tolerate it.

im a doormat with strangers but boy am i a force not to be messed with at home!

purplesky, takes a bigger person to walk away, than provoke things...

You know that old say Sticks and stones may break my bones (but words will never hurt me).

They is a defence to self-defence, than provoking it, then calling it self-defence

The process of name-calling is typically based upon feeling not OK, and name-callers are trying to make themselves feel more powerful by using the process. If I call you a name and get you upset, then I temporarily feel more powerful because I had a powerful effect upon you. My self-esteem rises at your expense. I project my unhappiness on to you and you take it on if you allow yourself to be upset. If you do not get upset at my attempt, then I cannot dump my original unhappiness on you. Then I am left not only with my failure to successfully dump it on you but also with my original unhappiness to boot. Thus, if you're successful at being unbothered by my words, then I wind up more unhappy; and I'll probably quickly stop those words. This is a key element to understand, that name-callers will usually feel worse if you do not react to their name-calling. They will therefore be much quicker to stop such behavior than if you get visibly upset.

* Reason I was not bullied as much as others is the fact I ignored them & made them feel I was looking straight through them, & also If a fight did break out I defended myself but I did not provoke it, also it only happened in the first year...

taijutsu is good to learn use the other guys strength against him...

I agree people always tell you to ignore it and they will stop. But it only makes them worse.

Incidentally, Purplesky, how old are you?

Yes but then you get the upper hand without them getting what they want from the name calling, then they get they arse kicked... Would you want to come back for more...