One thing NTs sometimes do that I find mysterious

Post Reply New Topic

goodness how much I hate that. or when they come and smile at you and say "cheer up!" or "smile!"

yeah i dislike it too when people argue about what i am feeling, intending, thinking, etc and i don't understand why they want to invent these explanations. it seems a lot of people are really uncomfortable with 'uncorrect' facial expression, and it's too hard to deal with the fact that there is 'nothing'
(i have that 'grin' and also the 'serious face')

I dont think this is specfic to NTs only, as with a lot of things. My (AS) boyfriend always tells me Im freaking out when I am actually calm, or asks why I am sad when I am just thinking. It's not that you are supposed to have the right facial expression on; it's that people are constantly reading you (correctly or incorrectly) no matter what and their decison to voice what they think (Saying "dont get panicky") depends on if they are outgoing enough (or close enough) to say something about it to you.

Yeah, most people have told me due to the way I come off in conversation, and my facial expressions and body language, I have this aura of "do I trust this guy, or not?"

Eh, it is what it is. And yes, you can trust me- most of my friends know I do not blow their secrets or anything like that to anyone. I do as I say I will...but then...most Aspies do...

I've had this happen to me many times... People assume I am meaning something when I speak and they get all these misunderstandings about me... I've been profusely yelled at also because someone completely mistook something I said innocently enough as something else... This happens alot... In the end, no one even knows me...... they just think they do...... the misunderstandings spread like gossip to others who in turn will misunderstand me...

I've been caught in a whirlwind of hell that way... with groups of people making fun of me and misunderstanding me... I've lost jobs because of it I'm sure... I don't even know people are misunderstanding me until it's too late and there's so much bad blood and someone meanly blurts something out at me.. and I'm like "What??? I'm not like that!! I never implied that!! !.. Is THAT what everyone thinks of me???" and off I go, to another job, or social circle because things got so bad and I didn't even know why... Bottom line, I am different and no one appreciates or understands me... and I honestly think that they never will.

I have experienced just about everything I have read here. Even complete strangers on the street tell me to "Cheer up"! I must look really miserable I suppose.

Often it seems that NTs have interpreted my neutral (or blank) expression according to their own anxieties. Many times I have had NTs take offence to the point of screaming at me, and a 'friend' once even threw me out of the house and I had no idea what I had done wrong.

I've had random NT's say things to me like "It takes more muscles to frown than to smile," or "Turn that frown upside down" because my expression was what they considered not happy. Do they honestly believe that people should smile 24/7? Can you imagine how sore your face would be?

It's just that people dont like to see other people unhappy is all.

Arg, I just had the same thing happen, I was talking with somebody over the phone, and they started asking "what's wrong?", and then when I said "nothing" (the truth), they started saying that "it's ok, you can tell me what's wrong" (Sheesh, I told you that nothing is wrong, isn't that good enough?). I have been distracted all day (thinking nonstop about two of my current obsessions 1: Learning more about AS 2: Researching what to buy for building a new HT system), if that would make any difference.

Maybe not quite relevant, but Ive found one way of interpreting people's facial expressions is to try and make the same expression on my face then think how I would feel if I was making that expression. In general I am quite expressionless (I smile, look in the mirror and I dont look like Im smiling at all), but this gives me a better idea. I am very used to seeing other people with facial expressions and often I wonder what it would be like to meet myself - would I find my lack of facial expressions, eye contact and awkwardness really strange or would I accept it as normal.

Every once in a while I'll get irritated or excited about something and will raise my voice slightly over my normal volume. When this happens, my wife tells me I'm 'angry' or that I'm 'yelling'. That annoys me to no end, then I find myself actually feeling the emotion I just denied I had!

Interesting posts.

Yes, it is the misinterpretation thing. but I guess it isn't a big deal, and all part of the rich tapestry of communicating with NTs. It seems to show though how much they are paying attention to all the most subtle stuff.

Sometimes I have wanted to wear dark glasses, a mask, or a paper bag on my head so I wont have to worry about eye contact and facial expressions, and then I could just focus on the words....

I had to laugh when I read that! Sometimes just the words can be misunderstood by an emotional NT. I had a friend for awhile, that liked to send me long, exuberant e-mails. She assured me that I didn't have to write long ones back. So, sometimes I would respond with short sentences. She then accused me of sounding "cold," or "distant."