'How are you?'

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I reply to this question with "Good", or "Good, ..." followed by a recent event that has affected how I am. I have never replied with "And you?" and I generally don't ask this question.
I think it's just a way to break an awkward silence when two people meet, or to acknowledge the other's existence. (If the two people don't know each other well.)

It took me a while to learn not to give more than a one-sentence answer.

I don't like that kind of question. It's one of those questions where the expected answer is to repeat the question or give a default answer.

indifferent

Como estas

"How are you?"
"I'm fine, you?"

I guess that's pretty much my only response. Problem is, I'm pretty sure sometime people actually mean the question, while sometimes, they're just being polite and responding with a full answer is inappropriate.

Frankly, I despise this question and find it very difficult to deal with. I really find greetings very confusing and very unpleasant. I pretty much have a limited stock of greetings/tones to say them in that I can actually access on the fly.

It's that awkward space between engagement and passerby-ing that I can't seem to navigate at all.

The one I hate even more is "What's new?"
I know I can always fall back on the "Oh, not much." But it seems slightly more demanding of a thoughtful answer than "How are you?" and it always catches me off gaurd. I'm usually sure to say "Not much." to most people except my sisters, but I feel like each time I say that I'm admiting that I'm a boring loser, so I end up regretting not saying something new about my life.

Indeed. "What's new?" - the question that kills.

I f***ing hate this question. It serves no purpose because neither the party asking nor the party answering is going to be honest. It is illogical.

And what's more, it's none of your damned business.

I still haven't come up with an adequate response that will convey my utter lack of appreciation at being asked.

When I first came to live in France it took me ages to adapt to saying Bonjour to everyone every day - it just wasnt automatic like Hi had become. It took even longer to say Salut (Hi) because it sounded strange to me. But I am fine with both of these now. They have become automatic. I only add Ca va (How are you) if it is someone I care about and think that something might be wrong. Luckily in french one replies to ca va with another ca va (It means fine aswell as how are you - depends on whether you say it as a question or just flat), so you can jointly say fine and ask about the other person.

Leaving is still a problem even after more than 3 years here. I would prefer to say nothing and leave quietly, but I feel rude doing that. I have got used to saying 'see you tomorrow' or if its a friday ' have a good weekend' but I cant say anything else upon leaving - to repeat Salut seems strange (even though people do it), Ciao seems strange (and its not even french even though people use it a lot here) and au Revoir is too formal. So I am stuck with saying the same thing every day (apart from friday). If its the other person who speaks first though I often just echo them and say the same thing back which ends up coming out pretty wierd if its one of the things that I feel strange about saying (like ciao). If I am going to be away a day then I cant use my 'see you tomorrow' and it becomes complicated (although one can say 'see you wednesday or thursday' etc)

I just say ok,then if they ask something else like what have i been doing i try to think of somewhere i have been.My mother told me to say this kind of thing as a response because no one wants to hear about things i find intresting that i have been doing and she also said i sounded odd.I often forget to ask the same questions back and often notice in the evening when i go over things that have happened that day.

I knew an American once who would invariable answer, "not too shabby".

There's a comic I read that perfectly sums up an Aspie's attitude toward conversation. Took me a while to find it again, but it was worth it.

http://xkcd.com/222/

This has come up a few times before, and it seems most of us have the same difficulty. Until a few years ago I answered honestly (or as much as I could bring myself to tell about), letting people know about recent illnesses or problems or whatever.

It wasn't until probably at most 5-8 years ago that I found out that's just a stupid saying.

Now I'm still too uncomfortable to go through the ritual. I just kind of get out "okay" and keep walking or change the subject or something. Sometimes I kind of forget and actually answer semi-honestly and people seem to think I'm making a joke. I don't think I've ever managed to do the "how are you" thing back.

I *HATE* this "greeting" with a passion. It's illogical. If you ask a question, it should be because you want to know the answer, not as some kind of random sound coming out of your mouth

i hate this question. i've gotten pretty good at socializing but this is one thing i can't stand. i just can't leave it at "fine, and you" so now i'll usually say a bit more like "pretty good, kinda tired, but good, how about you?" because i hate just saying "fine" unless my parents are asking how my day went.

Aaargh!! ! I hate this too!

I remember being taught, as a small child, that if I was asked "How do you do?" I should reply "Very well, thank you"! !!

Me: "But what about if I'm not very well?"

Grannie: "You should still say it."

Me: "But that would be lying - I can't do that!"

Nowadays, I'm afraid if anyone asks me that, I usually answer the question truthfully, e.g. "Well I've had a bit of a cold, but it's nearly gone now!" or whatever.

And I hardly ever ask them, unless I actually do want to know. So what if they think I'm rude or they get offended? That's their problem, not mine.