Stalked by a fellow Aspie - any ideas?

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Just to update,

After an 8 month hiatus it looks as though the pestering has started again. At 4am...

If anyone else from the Irish group has has similar problems with this person recently please PM me?

You could just save yourself a whole load of hassle, talk to a tame bouncer (they always 'know people' who have their price) and have her royally frightened into leaving you alone.

If she thinks you're 'connected', she may back off.

You can ask for a no contact order...or talk to the leader of the group? She sounds like she is merely irritating, not actually dangerous. She is clearly obsessed with you, and this, combined with fuzzy boundaries, can lead to trouble.

Find her an obscure hobby to keep her busy.

The big problem is that here, in Ireland, you really DO have a straight choice between charging her with harrassment and letting her off scott free. There is no more "wriggle room" in the law for calling round for a chat (I already tried to get them to do that).

I have been working with one of the group co-ordinators all along, but he would be the first to confirm that I would be more likely to find a way to fix it than he would.

There are some other factors involved now that I cannot divulge, but at this stage, one more call and I will try calling a relative of hers at work, to see if he can sort her out, and if that fails, I will have to have her charged.

M

I just saw how old this post is and can't believe you are still dealing with crap from this girl. Did the police action not help? I know here in the States the police aren't good about protection from stalkers. I've had several stalkers. A couple got the message by not talking to them. One guy though was so crazy his stalking didn't cease until I moved 2000 miles.

As much a pain in the butt as it is sometimes the only way to get away from such people is to move and change phone #s. Its really inconvenient I know.

It sounds like this girl has a sexual attraction to you. Do you have any male friends or brothers that can corner her somewhere and threaten her? Ok you say you know her through the local support group so can you stand up at the next meeting and make an announcement to the group and say that this girl is stalking you, say what all she has been doing and just ask for help in stopping it. It doesn't matter if the girl is attending the meeting or not say it in front of her as if she isn't there. And the point of asking the group for help is not so much that anyone there can help you but asking for help is your excuse for bringing up such an embarrassing discussion at the meeting. The point being if you humiliate her in front of probably the only friends she has she may cease her behavior and maybe even disappear. Also if you have NT's that attend the meeting it may help if they know what is going on because they have a way of nipping things in the bud when AS people are acting out. We had a crazy man at our meetings that was destroying the meetings with his behavior until one of the NT socialogists spoke to him in a certain way and he suddenly changed his bad behavior.

Another idea is call the local psychiatric unit and see if they can come pick her up. Seriously that might work.

Imagine how I feel that it's still going on?

I couldn't believe it...

She stopped 8 months ago...so I didn't go to the Police after all...

I don't think it's sexual attraction...not unless she subscribes to a very broad church...if I went and told the group she was pestering me the only answer I would get would be:

"What else is new?"

She has stalked other, male, members even more intensely. She has been banned from the group for ages because of it.

She hasn't actually GOT any friends to humiliate her in front of.

I don't think he behaviour is even connected to AS...she drinks a lot, and seems very spoiled...

It's as if she really believe that all she should have to do to have friends is DEMAND that people befriend her...and when they don't, she must MAKE THEM PAY until they do...

I have an idea, get a second seperate number that is unlisted with a separate telephone and start telling your contacts this is your new number. Have this telephone by your bedside or wherever you use the phone the most.

As for your old number hook this up to a separate telephone with an answering machine in the closet and screen your calls for contacts that continue to call your old number and let them know your new unlisted number. Don't give the stalker the satisfaction of getting you upset. Instead let the stalker's calls go to the equivalent of a dead-letter office that never get answered.

I would advise against things like sending some male friends out to threaten her or "teach her a lesson". It might give her a legal basis to press counter-charges against you and could potentially muddy the waters in court. I don't have any idea what telephone service costs in Ireland but in the long run if it gives you the relief you are seeking it may be well worth it.