If you don't like telling people you have AS, why not?

Post Reply New Topic

I don't have an official diagnoses but if I did, I wouldn't because of said reasons, but I choose "because they think all the stereotypes will apply to me". Honestly, I feel like all my life I've had a target on my back. The one is was "The weirdo", "Mental, or "slow". I think though, I'm having life burnout issues because of years trying to fit in and not draw attention to myself, after being ridiculed by family, rejected at school, and bullied in the workplace in my 20s.

I had an idiot tell me there's no such thing as high functioning autistic* & all the autistic kids he knew were thick...

He didn't think about the fact that he probably only knew them cos they were his intellectual peers

He was objectively thick on other stuff, this isn't just sour grapes.

* If certain people on this site have taught me anything, it's that low functioning autistic doesn't even necessarily = thick. But I'm HFA/aspie.

They are likely to think I'm defective or disabled.

I fear infantilisation and being ignored.

Because they might associate me with serial killers.

I doubt that most people associate AS with serial killers. I really do.

There’s stupid speculation all over the Internet....doesn’t mean it’s true.

Very few people think Hitler was on the Spectrum.

Most people who think of Ted Bundy think he was a manipulative charmer; Aspies are not usually though of as being “charmers.”

I never heard those stereotypes about autistic people being murderers, etc. until I joined WP. Honestly!

I bet there are ten times more autistic victims in the world, than criminals. No one talks about that in the media.

I don't bother telling many people that I'm autistic because I don't share the details of my psychology, my health, or my personal information with others. I wouldn't talk to them about my physical or mental health, my sex life, or religion and politics either. I confide in few people, and I'm very private about my life. On top of that most people would ask a lot of questions, and I wouldn't want to have to stand there educating them. Let's be honest, they'd likely just want to seem polite -- but it doesn't mean they'd be listening or processing anything I explained.

* I voted other. I don't think people would think I'm crazy or immoral or anything like that. That's a bit of a stretch!

Depending on the people I might disclose if the conversation turned to autism. That has never happened.

I do not initiate autism conversations outside of this board because I am lazy. The topic is so very complicated and I have no idea what the potential conversation partner knows or think they know.

I don't because...

1 - I don't really want them to know.
In context, this may be out of pride, out of mischief or out of apathy.

2 - It's pointless. Most at the time.
People around me do not have the same amount of awareness nor knowledge to even try to have it right.
Not even my parents, let alone anyone who knew any less.

3 - It's awkward. That is, if people knew or aware enough to try and be relevant at the matter.
At best, they'd deduced that I'm not the stereotypical helpless and leave it like that.
At worst, they'd fuss around and being invasive.

4 - Unnecessary.
Let's just say I naturally blend enough, that I'm not this easily intolerant type and leave it like that.
And people around me are sensitive enough to know I'm different but not suspicious.

5 - I am lazy.
I simply don't bring this up in real life. So far, I only did to a very, very few.
And it's too complicated. I'd rather keep it simple for everyone.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

I will write my reasons in a list like some of the previous posters:-

1. I know I'd feel an overwhelming feeling of awkwardness if I did tell people, that same sort of feeling you'd have if you took your pants down in front of someone you don't know too well (even though I've never done that I still know how it would feel emotionally; embarrassing and awkward)

2. I don't fit any of the stereotypes that most people only know autism as (people will be like "oh but you're not at all like my sister's nephew's son who has autism")

3. It isn't necessary to tell people

4. I feel embarrassed about it, just like some people feel embarrassed about having a big wart

5. It makes me feel inferior to others

6. I don't want to be defined by my diagnosis

7. It makes me feel more normal when others around me don't know I have it

8. I'm afraid people might think differently of me if I do tell

9. I didn't want a diagnosis to begin with but I had no choice


On the other hand, it can be hard to keep closeted about it when there are so many blabbermouths out there. I was only a child when I was diagnosed, so I didn't have much control over who knew and who didn't. So most people who I've known since childhood already know I have it. I envy those who were diagnosed as adults because at least you can have more control over who to tell. I don't tell any new people I've met in my life.

I voted they will think the stereotypes apply to me. I don't think they would believe me. They might just think I am not aspie, I am just stupid. Or think I am not aspie, I am just using it as an excuse for being rude and stuff.