"Why?"

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Said in the same tone of voice, I'd say "Why do you wanna know ?" is ruder because adding the "do you wanna know ?" makes it seem much more pointed.

Thank you. That's pretty much what I would like to say, but I seem to lack the diplomacy skills to say it, being more from the "Put Up or Shut Up" school of troll management.

Or she might have been afraid that you were going to somehow antagonize her after she answered or something.

Normally I'm okay with questions, but I have had a few people ask me questions in a seriously antagonistic way, and then I can get sensitive over those questions, even if a later questioner is asking them innocently.

Her response sounds a lot like "It's a long story," which is translated usually as "I don't want to talk about it."

What frustrated me very much though once, was when there was a guy who made posts with 'apostrophes' like 'these' around half the words in them. I asked whether they were for sarcasm, emphasis, attempt to set the words apart from other words, or to say he didn't really believe the word. He got really angry at me and told me that I was not respecting his neurodiversity. Which startled me, but I guess maybe he'd been asked those questions in an antagonistic way at some point and figured I was too. I was just trying to figure out his posts. (He'd also complain if his posts were ignored or misunderstood.)

So now you are analyzing people you haven't even met, or even seen direct words from? What something sounds like to you, frankly, is irrelevant, since you were neither the one speaking, nor the one who said it. "It is what is is" doesn't mean "it's a long story". Nor would that even fit in the context. And you'll just have to trust me on that one.

No one called you an idiot, grain-and-field - that much is clear. How you take something is completely up to you, however. I disagree wholeheartedly with what you say - I appreciate when people ask me why, because it means they are thinking. If I ask why, I also have a concern or question that needs answering... and I do not believe my needs are less important than that of another. Just food for thought -


M.

sounds to Omar like it was just to break the silence, maybe a way to toss out a few morsels of smalltalk to see if you be in the mood to bite. It ain't meant to be serious, and answerin' "why' in such a case would be counter-productive as the person say'n it is try'n to be discrete in gaug'n your willingness to communicate.

I ask why a lot, it doesnt bother me at all to have someone ask me either.
Usually, if I am talking to a child I assume they may ask why & tell them along with whatever else I am saying/asking, but with adults it's harder. It seems to bother them a lot. I would guuuuuess he meant "is your car a toyota?" but... there are so many possible interpretations.... context is hard

But no question is ever automatically simple. No one ever knows exactly with what information the other person is going on.
"why are you wearing that shirt?" maybe its simply curousityor maybe
the shirt is dirty
or ugly
or broken
or inside out
or buttoned wrong
or
or
or
asking why keeps me from running circles in my mind trying to figure it out. Ever read The Yellow Room? I can easily wear my shoulder into the wall trying to figure things out on my own.

Yes I do it to my mom. It drives her crazy when I ask a question with a question like why???

I do something similar:

I ask someone a question.

They give me an answer.

I ask them why they gave the answer.

I know it frustrates them, but I want to know why people give the answers they do.

Besides the fact that the second way of asking the question uses more words, what's the difference? (Note: I'm not attacking your post, I'm genuinely confused.)


I often ask people why they asked me questions. I do so to satisfy my own curiosity, and so that I can have some context for my answer: many questions can be interpreted in more than one way, and it creates confusion if they are interpreted in the wrong way. Noone I've met has ever had a problem with me asking "why?", and I don't see why they should; all it is is a request for clarification.

Perfectly reasonable scenario:

Are you going to the store?

Yes I am, why?

Well I need a few things and I'd like you to get them for me if you are going.



Next scenario:

Do you post on Wrong Planet?

Why?

(how do you answer, and what is this person going to do with your answer? Is he going to out me, ridicule me, or say that he does too?)

This creates some feelings of conflict.

Just illustrating

We are all curious at one time or another, and the question "why?" when it is meant to give more information is fine, but sometimes when it is used to answer a question can make people uncomfortable as I illustrated.

Seems to me the stuff in parenthesis applies just as much to the first question.

It appeared to me that the items in parentheses were the questions to be answered by asking 'Why?' - is that the point of confusion?


M.

Some people make a living asking "why." We're called philosophers.

I should have made it more clear, using the same question to illustrate the difference.

I was illustrating how using "why?" in answer to a question could seem manipulative in nature to some.

My husband just did this too! My daughter asked "What are you doing?" and he said "Why?" lol