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claire-333
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18 Aug 2008, 8:42 pm

Sometimes my honesty will come across as blunt or rude, even though I do not mean for it to. Like today...A visitor came into my office at work, so I did the polite thing and said, "Hello, how are you today?". He said, "If I told you the truth would you care?". Without even thinking I said, "No". There was a notable awkward silence and then it dawned on me, so I smiled and quickly said, "But I won't bother you with mine either". He laughed and I was able to repair the moment on this occasion, but that is not always the case.



CatDogPerson
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18 Aug 2008, 8:57 pm

Dragonfly_Dreams wrote:

My therapist says, "Because that's just how it is. There is a way that is socially acceptable and a way that is not." I simply don't understand why I have to conform to everyone else.



This is my hugest problem, right here. Knowing what is and isn't "socially acceptable". It drives me up a wall sideways that most people just know how to behave socially, and what's more, they take it for granted that everyone else knows how to as well. So my behavior comes across as even weirder than usual. But how am I supposed to know? Evidently I was never directly taught what to do/not do, and if I was taught it didn't stick (which would be unusual in and of itself). And it's very difficult for me to learn on the fly, to try and just pick up cues from watching/imitating other people. I need to be directly told, "You can say this, but not that. This behavior is acceptable but that one isn't." And I need to be told why one is ok but the other is not.

I'm with you Dragonfly. I don't get why I have to act like everyone else. I just don't get it.


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Omar
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18 Aug 2008, 8:59 pm

It's all 'bout how you want people to take your words. Sometimes it may be prudent to wrap up your words in bubble wrap to prevent damage to fragile psyches and other times you just wanna get out the mallet and pound away till the words be reverborat'n in they heads. Neither method be exclusive to "truth", but they do mean the difference between comment and confrontation.

Whether they be rude or not depends on how you perceive the individuals you're deliver'n your words to be, and whether they prefer sugar or spice.



kleodimus
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19 Aug 2008, 3:37 pm

im blunt unintentionally or at least thatswhat im told i dont always feel i have said a rude thing though



ChristinaCSB
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19 Aug 2008, 4:38 pm

I try not to be blunt but I guess I am sometimes. My boyfriend sure is though.



markaudette
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20 Aug 2008, 12:24 pm

Unfortunately I have a very faulty Think-Before-You-Speak filter.

It gets me into a lot of unnessary trouble. I wouldn't dream of purposefuly hurting anyone's feelings or attacking what they think. But I always end up saying or doing something that offends peole.