tired of ret*d mother
How 'bout we take a look at the math.
A lot of people out there are really screwed up in the head. Right?
Half the really screwed up people in the world are female. Right?
...Well, there's a few people too dumb to figure that part out.
Other than heterosexual aspie males, most people end up having kids. Right?
Therefore, a lot of very screwed up people have kids. Half of them are mothers.
Ever notice how it's perfectly okay to say all kinds of horrible things about your father, but if you say the same things about your mother people start yelling, "She raised you, so you should be grateful."
Some people have no understanding of the world in which they live in. I'm not saying mothers are wonderful, did you read all my posts? can you read? this is not to offend you its to make sure I understand where you are coming from. My point flew over your head, I do that sometimes you see I am bad at translating my thoughts into words.
How 'bout we take a look at the math.
A lot of people out there are really screwed up in the head. Right?
Half the really screwed up people in the world are female. Right?
...Well, there's a few people too dumb to figure that part out.
Other than heterosexual aspie males, most people end up having kids. Right?
Therefore, a lot of very screwed up people have kids. Half of them are mothers.
Ever notice how it's perfectly okay to say all kinds of horrible things about your father, but if you say the same things about your mother people start yelling, "She raised you, so you should be grateful."
Some women do not make good mothers, just as some men are not good fathers. No one here is claiming that all mothers are wonderful.
and he didn't say that someone was. try to react at what he writes about the fact that even though some women might be bad mothers you are saying, 'so what, she raised you, so you should be grateful'. tell me, where do you see the boundary? or you think that all mothers and fathers deserve to be respected by their offspring under any circumstances?
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Timeo hominem unius libri, I fear the man of one book, St. Thomas Aquinas.
How 'bout we take a look at the math.
A lot of people out there are really screwed up in the head. Right?
Half the really screwed up people in the world are female. Right?
...Well, there's a few people too dumb to figure that part out.
Other than heterosexual aspie males, most people end up having kids. Right?
Therefore, a lot of very screwed up people have kids. Half of them are mothers.
Ever notice how it's perfectly okay to say all kinds of horrible things about your father, but if you say the same things about your mother people start yelling, "She raised you, so you should be grateful."
Some women do not make good mothers, just as some men are not good fathers. No one here is claiming that all mothers are wonderful.
and he didn't say that someone was. try to react at what he writes about the fact that even though some women might be bad mothers you are saying, 'so what, she raised you, so you should be grateful'. tell me, where do you see the boundary? or you think that all mothers and fathers deserve to be respected by their offspring under any circumstances?
All I was trying to point out to him is to AT LEAST be grateful he has life. Life is a good thing, I love life. Sometimes its HARD to love those who brought life. But mothers fathers grandmothers grandfathers sons and daughters all alike all imperfect all fall short of perfect, I imagine his mother possibly has alot of stress(as does the original poster) and I dont know the situation but I think he would be happier in his current situation and try to make the best of it rather then the alternative; call child services on his mother possibly have him taken away(if there is anything seriously wrong) and he can live in a foster home where your treated like dogs. the choice is yours. Life is not fair, its an unfortunate side effect of living in it. But I know the ability to forgive & forget is powerful.
sartresue
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'Tard and feathered with the same brush topic
I have noticed no females or mothers have commented yet in this interesting topic. So I will, as a female, a mother of three and Aspie.
From time immemorial, children have blamed their parents for everything under the sun, and even below the ground. I do not support bad parenting, mothering or guardianship. I also do not appreciate all my parents have done, though when I think back, I learned some good things despite their failings. And both my parents are deceased, so there is no way I could tell them anything now.
I have no idea what the family dynamics are in the OP's case here, but to continually blame what went on in the past is counterproductive. What I did was to leave home and make my own way in life. Some children are eventually able to establish dialogue with their parents or mother and work out difficulties. Living in a negative atmosphere is obviously dysfunctional.
My NT children do not agree with all my parenting practices, and it is hard for me sometimes to parent them as I do not understand how NTs think. My youngest daughter called me a "social ret*d" the other day. I am not generally emotionally damaged by labels but it hurts when someone you love calls you ugly names. I told her that name calling is unfair and counterproductive and there are other ways to resolve disputes. Perhaps this is what the OP might want to attempt.
Good luck. ![]()
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lionesss
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The word "ret*d" should just be banished! Seriously. And no parents are perfect by any means... and yeah there are so many parents out there that shouldn't have kids but a lot of parents do try their best. I cannot comment in your case since I don't know what your home life is like but calling your mother a "ret*d" is just plain wrong! I am sorry but I just hate that word. And no parent is perfect, even the best ones...it wouldn't be normal to NOT lose patience because kids can be really trying, "NT" or autistic! But a good parent will come to their senses and realize if they did lose patience and said something or did something not so good... and will hopefully learn from their mistake when the next incident happens. My mother lost patience with me, she said some really nasty things to me growing up but now I realize (being a parent myself has made me open my eyes) that she only could handle so much. She is an excellent mother and is human.
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but the fact that ive never said anything bad against her in my life long or didnt do anything bad and even helpd her with alot of things that has to been done (recently stopd doing that sinds theres not much respect from her) but shes the one calling me ret*d over and over again i really cause the loweeeeeeeeeeeeeeest problems in this familie and still she acts insane to me wich is stupid because she always keeps friendly against other familie members really it makes me angry thinking of it why did i deserved to be treated as a lesser in the familie all the time?
(and stop telling me not to call my mother a ret*d the reason why its in the title is because she keeps forgetting facts about me lots she says even my brothers name inplace of mine and she is is the one calling me ret*d for no reason at all really and its not because i bother her but because she has always suddenly angry attacks against me dont ask me why i dont care im not einstein if you whant to know go follow a cursus psycologie)
maybe you should think before posting (the ones why are botherd by the title)
and btw:my finger still feels wierd because of the bite or did you skipd that part to without reason?
it's stupid how people here focus on the title and overlook the real problem.
some parents blame their children for not being able to follow their dreams. or if a husband leaves her because she is pregnant, she develops a hatred toward the baby. or many things of this logic. cannot it be something of this sort?
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I know how you feel my mom did and still does drive me crazy although I am not perfect either. I still blame her for a lot of my bad childhood experiences and get trapped in thinking about what an apathetic parent she was because she didn't do enough to protect me from certain others. Plus, I resented her divorcing my dad and moving here, a place I have nothing in common with and not really any sort of connection to full of the most backwarded people imaginable. I think I would have been better off raised by my father in another location...
The past, however, cannot be altered.
I am not offended by the title and I believe you when you say she says mean things. I cannot explain why certain people are the way they are I have been thinking about that most my life and have failed miserably in figuring it out.
What I have figured out is that a lot of it is based on frustration and percieved wrongdoings of whomever they have a grudge against. In other words, someone did something they didn't like and they hold it against them and use it an excuse to be mean and not like someone. I do this myself, it's a bad habit. I feel this way toward my mom, the same way she felt toward me, that my mom has done things i consider to be unfair and that's why I don't like her. She has the same attitude toward me so we are stuck in this negative interaction idealogy framework. I feel bad it's like this, but again, don't know how to resolve it because of the emotions that feed it.
All I can say is I hope your situation improves but honesly I feel helpless in situations like these because it would be great to wave a magic wand and make things better than they are. If someone talked to your mom and explained how to talk with you, maybe this would help? Try not to let it bother you but I realize it's not always easy.
CleverKitten
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anyway ive calmd down a bit but my finger still feels paralysed from biting it <.<
im really so stupid to bite them i really need a stresball or something
Whenever I feel like biting my hands or fingers, I chew on a rubbery object, like a large eraser, the end of a balloon, or a bunch of rubber bands.
Or take up gum-chewing. (If you haven't already.) That helps me sometimes.
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of my mother today and i wonder if its normal for mothers to treat there autistic child like nothing in comparation with other familie
members?(also i quit my gluten free diet sinds my familie doesnt understand crap about anything dont care anymore really it makes
me so angry)I really wonder if other people who in there youth have had anything related or who are now a kid?
Just tried to read your post, you know there is a spell check, I suggest you use it, because your spelling makes you look like you are ret*d. I have a question, how old are you, because it seems like your operating on the level of an 8 year old.
of my mother today and i wonder if its normal for mothers to treat there autistic child like nothing in comparation with other familie
members?(also i quit my gluten free diet sinds my familie doesnt understand crap about anything dont care anymore really it makes
me so angry)I really wonder if other people who in there youth have had anything related or who are now a kid?
Just tried to read your post, you know there is a spell check, I suggest you use it, because your spelling makes you look like you are ret*d. I have a question, how old are you, because it seems like your operating on the level of an 8 year old.
is there a spell check on WP?
did you even know ive never had any english lessons what so ever?! its a wonder i can write english as good as this
and im from 1992 15 now grow 16 soon enough
what did you mean with opperating like an 8 years old?
I didn't always get along with my parents either (understatement), but things have gotten better after I moved out.
Especially seeing my parents retired, and how happy and more relaxed they are, made me realize how much stress was from working so many jobs and taking care of three kids, none of whom were exactly a picnic to raise all the time (another understatement). Especially since, they still work very hard, but are much happier anyway.
They did do a lot of things wrong, but they also did a lot right. They also gave up the environments they were most familiar with to move to a city to raise us, which must have been stressful. And after awhile you realize your parents are just people... just imagine having kids, having to watch them 24/7 in some cases, and see if you'd be able to handle the stress. I don't mean particularly the "stress of autistic kids" or something, just the stress of kids in general. I can't spend that long around anyone without sometimes saying things I regret to them, and most people I know, autistic or not, are the same way. With children that's the situation you have to deal with, plus you are responsible for their well-being and have to do a number of things to always make sure they are okay, for nearly two decades at the very least (which is more than some parents have even been alive when they become parents themselves).
My brothers and I so far have decided not to have children, part of it because none of us are sure we'd be able to handle it even as well as our parents did.
I'm not saying it's acceptable for parents to say mean things to their children, and I know there are parents who never do, but I can certainly understand why it happens. Not because the children are bad, even, just because the situation is very stressful and sometimes people take stress out on the wrong people. People don't grow a halo when they have children, and children don't come with instruction manuals either. So, many times, unfortunately, parents don't always treat their kids as well as they should. Not the kid's fault, also not always avoidable.
But seriously in three years you'll be able to move out, and that might seem like a long time, but keep it in mind when stuff gets bad.
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