AS and the LGBTQ Community

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Now you have made me very angry.. I'm tired of being told how to egsist!

come on guys. lets try to be more respectful of everyone's sexuality. I don't want this to get out of hand because then I'd have to get the moderators more involved.

Pansexual actually makes more sense to me than bisexual. I guess because I tend to be indifferent to gender outside of sexuality, so I can understand the idea, whereas, being also strongly heterosexual, the idea of liking both isn't something I can relate to.

That is the same as putting a quantitative value on what a person thinks, their experiences, heck, their being. Opinions are not about being right or wrong. Frankly, it's a stupid thing to post. If I'm being offensive, I apologize but I cannot let this one slide. Each persons' opinion is equally valid no matter where it lands on the social spectrum.



I would NEVER tell anyone what to do, how to feel or how to "egsist". I would never presume to have that ability in real life, much less over the internet. I really do apologize if I've angered anyone. It surprises how a few simple, forgetful comments can arouse such vehemence. If I had the option I'd simply delete this whole thread as it has shed light on absolutely nothing constructive and painted me to be nothing more than a jerk which I know not to be true.

Sorry guys. Just trying to join in and make sense of stuff.

Perhaps I'm better off simply lurking and reading posts and not actively participating. Just like the rest of my life.

All people should starve, as there is no connection between eating and staying alive.


And I'm right, because after all, thats my opinion, and opinions can't be wrong

Your clarification is appreciated; the combination of elements in your original post has created two separate lines of discussion in this thread, unfortunately. As for bisexuality, we'll agree to disagree - I feel that sexuality has more than an on/off switch when it comes to genders and desires. How has AS affected my sexuality? I'm not entirely sure, to be honest... perhaps heteroflexible would be the best descriptor to fit my life to this point, but that is another discussion. Over the years, I've been keenly aware that I don't perceive relationships and roles the same way as those around me have, which had led to some interesting experiences in relationships and in friendships. Is it something I feel closeted from the world? Not necessarily, as I've been very upfront with the people in my life about what I learn... it isn't something that I advertise to the world either, though.


M.

Thank you, and you're correct. I will try to be more, um... discerning when it comes to my posts. (Is there an emoticon for intense sarcasm?)

Asexuality seems to be not quite able to identify with any other orientation... you go to the heterosexual people, and they wonder why you're not married; go to the gay/lesbian/bi types and they think you're in denial. I'm kind of tired of that. I'd really like to take advantage of this newly beginning acceptance of different preferences; but it seems like, while asexuality has never had as much of a stigma as homo/bisexuality, it isn't becoming any more acceptable as time goes on. Maybe less, considering the "you're just repressed" argument, the idea that now that people are free to love whoever they want, they HAVE to love somebody.

Please do continue to actively participate NocturnalQuilter. The topics here would be pretty boring if we all agreed on everything all of the time.

EVERYONE here needs to learn how to check out their understanding of what a person is saying before jumping to conclusions and over reacting .

Thank you, Kelsi. I've had some really "challenging" experiences on forums before. I tend to pre-emptively assume I won't fit in and then try to fulfill that destiny.
One of my uglier traits, I admit.

Asexuals do have romantic preferences though (at least some of them do). I'm in an asexual relationship right now and we have had many cuddling sessions that lasted for several hours. But try telling people you're in a relationship,love your partner, and don't want sex. Right away a lot of them start nastily demanding you just accept your gay and embrace it, rather than have a fake relationship to pretend to be heterosexual. I can't count the number of times I've been told I only identify as asexual because I'm gay and don't want people to know that - as long as being gay requires being attracted to a member of the same sex, I'll never be anything that remotely qualifies as gay. I imagine its even harder for the asexuals who have gay romantic preferences when others find they are asexual. And it would be nice to be able to say my sexual orientation without immediately being met with "you need to go to the doctor and see whats wrong" "but maybe those first few doctors didn't understand by what you meant by zero desire or interest in having sex, or the tests were messed up in the lab" etc. I know quite a few asexuals who have normal hormone levels and have been evaluated by different psychologists, and were all told nothing was wrong with them, they just weren't interested in sex. Just as some people aren't interested in watching a football game and for others football consumes their entire life

I can certainly relate to being asexual, the drug-induced kind. Anti-depressants have all but erased my sex drive or any inclination to fix it. Makes for a very frustrated partner who just last night got the brush. So I've been feeling guilty all day about not "responding" favorably to his advances. *sigh*

Something I posted recently, NQ - hopefully it gives you a little smile... it's something that I've encountered during my experiences trying psych meds, and from partners in my past. Things happen, but people remain.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt79209.html

I'm glad you're sticking it out. I regret contributing to the derailment, but still found that initial comment so distracting and off-putting that it took some time to re-orient. As for intense sarcasm... no - I find just being contextually sarcaustic to be effective on rare occasion, though.

Asexuality is a challenging topic, as seen by the rampant discussion this last month... might be another thread, to compare the relative experiences between the two.


M.

Good example. I figure there's two kinds of opinions. There's one's own taste. And there's opinions about what the facts are. Sometimes it's not clear which a statement is. If I say "The Beatles are the greatest rock band ever" does that mean the Beatles are my favorite band, or does that mean I think that in some sort of objective sense, the Beatles are the greatest, regardless of if I personally like them? With the later type of opinion, some things are open to debate (or are the Rolling Stones the greatest rock band ever), some are pretty much settled matters (the sky is blue on a clear day).

Well, y'know, there are the non-romantic asexuals like me. I don't want romance at all; I would much prefer friendships only, and have no gender preference. Which would make me a-romantic bi-asexual. What a mouthful, and don't even get me started on being impossible to squish into either gender-stereotype! I guess maybe when I get older, middle age or more, I might want a roommate who's also asexual, just for the company; but for now, I'm content being and living alone.

I agree. Opinions can be right or wrong because many of them are tied to things that are real and not just taste, I don't think this is a stupid thing to say at all!

I'm not asexual and have even had some dates but have had no luck making relationships last. I think it's harder to date outside of woman + man because there are fewer people who might be interested, and you have to say that you're interested because it isn't assumed. (I don't know when it's appropriate to state my sexuality, though that's not only an autistic problem.) But women I think are easier to talk to, they're more likely to overlook my trouble with communication, and less likely to start seeing me as "little sister" instead of romantic prospect.

Callista, sorry that you've had trouble being taken seriously. What you say makes a lot of sense to me, and I think must be less rare than it seems from what people declare.