MUST win arguments/debates

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I enjoy arguing just for the sake of it, but I won't keep at an argument if I can see that I'm really upsetting someone or something like that. But if I know I'm right or the other person just really isn't making any rational sense, it's hard for me to stop arguing.

Same here!

I don't think I've ever won an argument before. I suck at getting my point across, even though I know I'm right. Or maybe nobody listens to what I say. I don't know which it is.

No it's not an AS thing, and it's not an "intelligence" thing, it's a "defensiveness" thing. There are way too many NTs who feel the need to win every argument without backing down.

Here's an example of an NT who felt the need to win an argument, no matter what the cost. http://www.ajc.com/news/cobb/ex-mcdonal ... e=rss_news

There's a tactical advantage in walking away from arguments. It's called "picking your battles". For a lot of petty arguments, sometimes the winning strategy is not to play. Save your winning arguments for debates that really matter.




Exactly. Truth is, and will always be, subjective. Facts are objective, but open to misinterpretation. The key is in recognizing the difference between subjective and objective data.

If John has a headache, it's something only he can experience, so for John, "I have a headache" is a factual statement. If John tells Mary he has a headache, then if Mary believes John, "John has a headache" is a truthful (and subjective) statement, and "John told me he has a headache" is a factual (and objective) statement.

If John is lying about his headache, and Mary believes him, John is lying, but Mary is still telling the truth.

If someone makes a comment against gay marriage or gays in general, I WILL get into an argument with them. Being against gay marriage or gay rights is, in my view, indefensible in this day and age, as it implies profound ignorance, lack of compassion, or both.

I will also make arguments for Roe v. Wade and marijuana legalization, but I can understand the other side concerning these issues, so I will be a lot more agreeable.

I used to get that way due to the fact that I wanted to prove my intelligence to everybody in my life a couple of years ago. I'm not so much like that anymore. I'd rather be happy than right and I don't have anything to prove to anybody. I have better things to do than to prove myself.

Growing up, I was always excluded for any number of "not good enough" excuses. I became a perfectionist thinking if I did everything perfectly, people would like me.

It didn't help that a lot of people said I was wrong, even if (in fact) I was right. I developed this need to win all the time, be right all the time, I became a very annoying person over this. I've made progress getting over this compulsive need, but it still flares up time and again.

This is my problem, too. I don't have to win the argument but I do have to be accurate. I'm always surprised that some people take it as a personal insult if you tell them they're wrong about something.