Einstein couldn't tie his shoes?

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Heh. Like there's much difference between AS and autism anyway! The only reason there are even two diagnostic categories is that people got too attached to the "speech delay" criterion before they really knew all that much about autism.

In adulthood--functionally identical to somebody without speech delay.

I don't agree with that. Aspie diagnosed children might have more of an interest in people than HFA diagnosed.
It's not just a matter of speech delay. It's more a matter of how much they attempt to connect.
The speech delay itself might be an indication there isn't going to be as strong an attempt to connect with people.

Uhh... yeah, Aspie here, no speech delay... also very little attempt to connect. I connect with words, ideas, and things--not people.

The fact that you were talking is an indication you wanted to connect. I think they are related, talking and wanting some kind of interaction with people. Aspie is sorta like an NT in this respect. You are talking, attempting to connect, having it thwarted. NT is usually allowed by others to connect, an Aspie isn't as easily accepted by peers, and sometimes adults, depending on what the grownups think of children. Examples: what is "normal" for children, what they should be saying or doing.

Sometimes adults will reject the ways AS children choose to connect (via precocious sharing of information) because it's not stereotypical behaviour they expect to see from children, they can become uncomfortable and attempt trying to remake the child with AS so they appear more like others in the same age group.

I read the book Look Me In The Eye, it's dismal in parts but has some good insights. Early in Chapter 1, John Elder is trying to talk to a schoolmate named "Chuckie" and getting nowhere. He pats her on the head like he did his dog, not realizing this gesture was a proper greeting for pets and not humans. In response to this Chuckie is wary of him and avoids him the rest of the day.

He tries to show her the right way to play with a truck, not realizing she might resent it. He takes the truck away and Chuckie tells the teacher. He explains he just wanted to show her the right way to play with the truck but the teacher doesn't side with him, she sides with Chuckie.

He attempts a conversation about a brontosaurus, that Chuckie totally ignores. Instead, she focuses on a drawing she is making in the sand on the ground below.

He leaves the reader with the impression Chuckie might also be autistic. He implies this when describing how she looks, her interests and her body language. She isn't a typical looking girl, she has odd interests considering her gender, and she doesn't really want to communicate.

Instead she sits there, looking at the ground, drawing in the sand, ignoring him while he talks about dinasours. He says he couldn't figure out what she was looking at, what was so interesting. She was probably looking at her drawing.
I guess he was demonstrating Aspies are attracted to each other, even at an early age, and have just as much difficulty connecting with each other as with NTs?

Another time, John Elder tries to talk to some kids using a non sequitur they do not understand, so they start making fun of him and he doesn't realize what led to them acting like that. He didn't realize the non sequitur would cause their behaviour. He also says later in the book, the grown ups around him tolerated his non sequiturs instead of explaining the proper ways to interact socially so he didn't get a chance to realize it wasn't the right way.

That's how I see the difference between Asperger's and Neurotypical. Since you say, more or less, you use language to transfer words and ideas, that's the method you use to connect, not unlike others with AS. Desire to connect is there, but way of connecting is different, and sometimes, rejected.

That's the situation as a child. After growing up this way, it's easy to fall in love with the words themselves and find happiness in them because of various factors, reinforcements, whether positive or negative, also, relying on words as a source of consistency and stability. Words are our bridges to one another. I consider them my most reliable guide.

If words are absent, the reason why must be established and other methods of communication are employed. If the possibility exists that verbal language can be developed, it's given precedence.

It could be you are more connected to words than to people, but didn't start out that way.

This is how I picture HFA: Pretty much, a toddler who is slightly developmentally delayed. The slower development made evident by the speech delay. The talking is delayed, not absent. Once the talking starts, the catching up starts, sorta. That's one way to differentiate between HFA and LFA, imo.

Last edited by ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo on 05 Dec 2008, 5:38 pm, edited 6 times in total.

i also can't tie my shoe -_-' (well atleast not the decent way)
i just duno how to remember it its so wierd i keep forgetting it

Anyone remember Home Alone? Kevin McCallister couldn't tie his shoes. You hear it at the end of the movie. "He doesn't know how to tie his shoes, he's going shopping."

I couldn't learn to tie my shoes until I was in my late teens and I still have trouble. Peers, teachers and some nurses in the mental hospital loved to give me hell about it. My mom ties them when they come undone and I am having trouble (in a secluded courner of corse). In the summer I wear sandles. When we get dairy goats and chickens I plan to just wear farm boots all the time in the winter and use the fact I live on a farm as an excuse.

I couldn't tie my shoes until like 4th grade

Punky, have you considered elastic shoelaces? You lace up your shoes, tie them once, and then they stretch enough so you can get your foot in and out.

Hey punkyKat, dont give up hope, i can spend literally almost an hour tying my shoes, all my sheos are pretied ahead of time for this very reason. but heres a great site that might help... http://www.theraproducts.com/index.php? ... 488cd28a61

I've learn very soon to tie my shoes, (3-4 yo)but in a very uncommon and ugly way... lol... and I still do the same today

You can always wear Vans

I love my new leopard print shoelaces too much to change to elastic ones. Now I just need to buy some nice designer gym shoes to go with them. I've been looking for YEARS for something like these. If I had a choice of being about to tie my shoes perfectaly and having to loose my leopard skin laces, or keeping my leopard skin laces and never learning to tie my shoes, I would choose to never learn and keep my leopard skin ones. Amazing what you can find at Walmart.

Oh yeah, I had these weird things that looked like a phyacedlic phone cord when I was a kid so I would not have to keep trying to tie my shoes. They were actualy very tacky and I would never wear something like that today. They were extactaly like the curly elastic ones in the picture. Elastic shoelaces would give away the fact I can't tie my shoes plus they are not really my style. I hate Vans. Even the Invader Zim ones I once saw. Just not my style. I'm more of a high tops person (I will die if I can ever get ahold of a pair of leopard skin ones though).

I can't tie my shoes AT ALL, a bit ridiculous given my age.

i couldnt tie his shoes either

I couldnt tie my shoes for a long period, I used to just wear boots instead when I was younger, or I got my mum or sister to do it, my sister would tie then in a boe fashion. I think I wasnt very good at speaking when I was younger, I would actualy go to a speech sesions to learn properly. Though I think I am fairly good, if not a bit awkward at tieing shoes, and I think my language is ok though I guess I still have a bit of the old habit of slurring words at times, though patience was a key.