Do people make fun of you for "knowing"?

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pandd
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08 Dec 2008, 5:34 pm

I think liking Heraldry is cool.

I also think that reaction demonstrates one manifestation of the problem. The person is confused, they feel awkward and unsure what to do. Many NTs are very much under pressure to conform and perform in regards to holding up their end of the whole sociality thing. We often place them in an awkward position in this area, and some respond to the confusion and feeling of awkwardness, or even self-embarrassment, in less than positive ways.

Many of us find it very hard that we just do not know what to do in social situations, and that we are so often 'at a loss'. The whole social communication and social rules thing functions to remove uncertainty about what to do socially. Many of us frustrate the functioning of this process for those around us, and some people react more aggressively or derisively than others, just as some ASDers react more aggressively or negatively to being persistently in the position we can sometimes inadvertently create for NTs.



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08 Dec 2008, 6:16 pm

MizLiz wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Intelligence is more than just being able to recite trivia. It is also about knowing when to recite it, how, and to whom.

Or, as a wise man once said, "When someone asks you for the correct time, don't give them a lecture on the history of Bavarian clockmaking."


Exquisitely said and a perfect explanation for why I hardly ever talk.

Still, I DO get incredibly irritated when I write a paper, a prof asks why I didn't cite some of my sources (for things I assumed were common knowledge) and all I can do is stare at the floor and mutter that I didn't have to because *I'M* the source, becase the facts I used were things I've known for, say, ten or fifteen years.

Then I have to go and take ten minutes to find a study, that I probably read ten or fifteen years ago, to back up what I said. It gets irritating.

One time in a class we were talking about something and I had to talk to get participation points and one of the other students seriously told me to "cite my source" and I couldn't believe that they didn't know what I was talking about. I e-mailed him about fifty links proving me correct.


I’m a bit like that. My problem is that I often like to come up with my own theories about things rather than simply citing sources. It’s much more interesting that way. Yet academia has this obsession about referencing prior material. I see the reason for this but sometimes it’s kind of a pain. Some things just make logical or intuitive sense to me. I spend so much time perusing through old articles looking for the first reference to something that seems like common sense to me.



Greyhound
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08 Dec 2008, 6:36 pm

marshall wrote:
Still, I DO get incredibly irritated when I write a paper, a prof asks why I didn't cite some of my sources (for things I assumed were common knowledge) and all I can do is stare at the floor and mutter that I didn't have to because *I'M* the source, becase the facts I used were things I've known for, say, ten or fifteen years.

Yeah, I hate that. They give you a lesson/lecture and then you write an essay on what they've taught you and they tell you that you haven't written the sources - but the lesson was the source!


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08 Dec 2008, 6:43 pm

Odd subject. For most of my life, I never understood the motivation for jealousy or envy. I myself never felt either jealous or envious, and it was a mystery as to why others might feel that way. If someone had begun informing me about the arcana of medieval heraldry, I'd want to know about it. Sounds fascinating. If someone began to tell me about why a cat meows, I'd want to know--love cats. If someone began to tell me about Bavarian clockmakers, that seems very interesting and I don't know enough about it. All this seems so matter-of-fact, so obvious, so normal, that I never questioned it. If someone has an intense interest that I know nothing about, how better to learn? Even when it comes to things that bore me stupid, like automobile engines and professional sports, there is always something to learn from the people, NT or otherwise, who find themselves drawn to such things.

And yet . . .

Reciprocation isn't necessarily a given, is it?

Took me decades to understand how threatening it can be for someone like myself, whom others often tend to dismiss, to suddenly and unexpectedly be NOT what it was assumed I was. Once someone placed me into a category, and then without warning, I said or did something that PROVED they were WRONG about that . . . they're not happy. Even when I did nothing OVERT to prove them WRONG. Sometimes, the non-overt proving them wrong is even worse than simply telling them (and then proving it) that they are wrong. After all, they can argue, deny, obfuscate, etc. if the conversation is overt. If it's NOT, however, and the evidence in front of them is incontrovertible, and they have no choice but to accept what is right in front of them, ooohhh boy. SOME can get really unhappy, uncomfortable, and even hostile. Some can get violent. If you're NOT what they thought you were, then they know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they were WRONG, and it can provoke bad responses. Hits them in the ego, which, IMO, is the childish part of the mind, and it's not likely to just "let things go." The ego will strike back in whatever way seems most convenient. I have been hit out of the blue in this way so many times you wouldn't believe it.

Although it's always been inconceivable to me, jealousy and envy are two of the "deadly sins." I suppose there must be a reason. They seem so common.

8)



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08 Dec 2008, 7:09 pm

See, the thing is, most people dont like to be told stuff as facts. They like to discuss it. They like to have their own input to things, even if that input is wrong. They like to be able to ask questions and have them answered, not to listen to a lecture.

I have an aspie friend who shares my special intrest in sports. We have good fun together running our mouths about cricket or rugby. But we run our mouths in different ways. He recites games, statistics, players, obscure stuff I just cant remember. I like to look at current teams and talk about things relating to that - Is X player better than Y player? Is A team likely to beat B team given A's good offence and B's good defence? The difference is my way needs two people, and the willingnes to say "Yup, you're right, I'm wrong." and my way of talking is more subjective. It allows for more human interaction.

His way of talking sometimes annoys me, because it doesnt involve me at all. My way of talking sometimes annoys him because there's too many grey areas.


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08 Dec 2008, 7:45 pm

I was never made fun of for my special interests. Most people just think my ramblings are "weird" and/or boring. But I don't care. I tend to only truly ramble to my mom and my handful of friends, because they actually appreciate what I have to tell them, and they find my knowledge of things intriguing. Plus, I've learned from the past to hold in my ramblings to those I'm close with, because they won't bash my obsessions. That's one thing that greatly bothers me- when my special interest is underappreciated. I get all defensive. :lol:
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08 Dec 2008, 8:15 pm

Yes and then they wonder why they can never get in contact with me again. The worst thing about having an obsession with meerkats is being asked if I like Meerkat Manor. NO! :evil:



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08 Dec 2008, 8:28 pm

People wonder why I know so much. I wonder why they know so little.



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08 Dec 2008, 9:55 pm

ephemerella wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
Quote:
Some NTs don't want to know "the Truth" or "the Information" so much as they don't want to feel uncomfortable.


Do you want to be made to feel uncomfortable in this manner?

I didn't think so.


You are making an assumption about me. I have no problem with some apparently simple person suddenly spilling a lot of detailed and technical information about something that comes up at random in the conversation (do I recall the OP said s/he explained what the cat's meow meant, and then got made fun of for saying it?).

I think that when people get uncomfortable because someone suddenly speaks above their heads, that's an ego or other personal problem they have.

It's not whether I want to be made uncomfortable in that manner. It's not possible to make me uncomfortable in that way. I'd be interested in what the person had to say about the cat's meow. I think savants are really fun and interesting to engage with, even if a little exhausting. At worst, they are too much to deal with if they don't regulate the flow. Never do I get uncomfortable to the point of harassing or teasing or making fun of people.

Perhaps it is a feature of my own AS that I don't understand why other people can't deal with hearing the truth or other peoples' opinions.


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pensieve
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08 Dec 2008, 10:03 pm

Chimchar wrote:
Why does that happen? You tell people how much you know about cats, or the space exploration and they make fun of you for it. It makes me not want above average intelligence.


I'd be really interested in talking to someone that knew a lot about space exploration. I just love to increase my knowledge, especially when it comes to history.

My sister made fun of me once because I knew a lot about radium.
My friend called me a nerd after he saw that I was really getting into Scavenger Hunt on Facebook.



lionesss
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08 Dec 2008, 10:08 pm

Moop wrote:
People wonder why I know so much. I wonder why they know so little.


It's because most people just don't care about things.. that is why they know so little.


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08 Dec 2008, 10:10 pm

lionesss wrote:
Moop wrote:
People wonder why I know so much. I wonder why they know so little.


It's because most people just don't care about things.. that is why they know so little.


Ya, I guess I am a little obsessive.
I knew everything about nutrition when I had to learn that in my culinary class. Year 1 of culinary was a breeze.



pandd
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08 Dec 2008, 10:13 pm

PunkyKat wrote:
Yes and then they wonder why they can never get in contact with me again. The worst thing about having an obsession with meerkats is being asked if I like Meerkat Manor. NO! :evil:

I hate Meerkat Manor, it was inane beyond description. It's hard to imagine making a wild-life footage documentary about meerkats bad, but somehow the makers of Meerkat Manor manged it.



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08 Dec 2008, 10:16 pm

Moop wrote:
lionesss wrote:
Moop wrote:
People wonder why I know so much. I wonder why they know so little.


It's because most people just don't care about things.. that is why they know so little.


Ya, I guess I am a little obsessive.
I knew everything about nutrition when I had to learn that in my culinary class. Year 1 of culinary was a breeze.


Wow thats great, thats a useful thing to teach people! Seriously, with the rates of obesity and diabetes climbing up like crazy, people need to be educated a little bit about nutrition. But again, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that "big portions of fast food is bad for you"! Proof to you right there that people just... again don't care.


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08 Dec 2008, 10:21 pm

lionesss wrote:
Moop wrote:
lionesss wrote:
Moop wrote:
People wonder why I know so much. I wonder why they know so little.


It's because most people just don't care about things.. that is why they know so little.


Ya, I guess I am a little obsessive.
I knew everything about nutrition when I had to learn that in my culinary class. Year 1 of culinary was a breeze.


Wow thats great, thats a useful thing to teach people! Seriously, with the rates of obesity and diabetes climbing up like crazy, people need to be educated a little bit about nutrition. But again, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that "big portions of fast food is bad for you"! Proof to you right there that people just... again don't care.


Ya, but I'm sure they don't know what foods contain what vitamins, minerals, and all of the other fine details about food chemistry. Generally eating a balanced diet is recommended. But I know way more than that.



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08 Dec 2008, 10:30 pm

Unlike other Aspie obsessions, nutrition is a valuable sphere of knowledge. Some obsessions are specific to the point of obscurity, and that's when you begin to sound like Cliff Claven from Cheers.



Last edited by slowmutant on 08 Dec 2008, 10:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.