When you were young, what did you want to be when u grow up?
engineering. That's interesting as many people end up there who seem to get lost elsewhere but it is a noble profession but I wish more engineers would get involved with human issues as you seem to have done.
_________________
I am one of those people who your mother used to warn you about.
That sounds familiar... Here's a blog I wrote in a similar vein:
http://ontap.riaforge.org/blog/index.cf ... It-Forward
One of the things I really want to do personally is create a software company that specifically seeks out to employ autistic people here in the US. There are companies like this in other countries, but none here. Not yet anyway.
It's really shocking (amazing even) that you're able to do programming work without any ability to work with mental graphics. I won't know in any detail until I have my follow-up with the neurologist on the 2nd, but I'm guessing from how easy the test seemed, that my visuo-spacial memory is pretty good. And I kind of wonder if I would be as good at my career if it weren't for the visual aspects of my brain function specifically.
This book is also a big one for me: http://smolderingremains.deviantart.com ... 1-82212934
Title on the cover there is wrong -- the new title is on another deviant art page.
elderwanda
Veteran

Joined: 17 Nov 2008
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,534
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
No one ever told me what people do, so I could never answer that question. In my elementary school years, (in our outdated textbooks and filmstrips) it was pretty much implied that women grew up to be teachers, nurses, telephone operators, or mothers. None of those seemed particularly appealing. The future and being "grown-up" were concepts that I couldn't wrap my head around.
I still can't.
1. Vet
2. German Shepherd breeder
3. Owner of an animal shelter (but not one that puts dogs down)
4. 3D Animator
5. Website designer
6. Band photographer
7. Screenwriter
8. Famous portrait photographer
7 and 8 are still my dreams. I guess I should put down stage lighting designer there too. I was no.6 for four years, but never made any money from. I got into some pretty huge concerts and met a lot of interesting people. Then a few months ago I just didn't feel it and left the company because it was asking to much of me. I still take photos of bands though at smaller gigs.
When I was 6 I never wanted to grow up. I always like that. I was happy with the way I was. I hated going up a grade. My mum said that I was like that since a baby - never wanting change.
From primary school to just before high school I still wanted to do something with animals. I liked animals more than people. For ages I had no idea what I wanted to do then I got into IT courses, it never worked out for me though.
With AS, I was able to do just about everything. The only thing I couldn't beat was the sexism in the post-baccalaureate engineering/math environment. The AS was never as much of a problem to me as trying to be an attractive female in math/eng.
At the post-baccalaureate level, there are more AS mathematicians and engineers than there are attractive women.
The AS was nothing compared to the gauntlet attractive women run in those academic fields.
The only way to make it as an attractive female post-baccalaureate in math/engineering is to have a very strong, almost militantly dominating social mind, (and go to a private college where the quality of environment is good) and that is what I am trying to accomplish.
As a small child, I wanted to make my special interest my career - and i did. Not without incredible difficulty and obstacles however, and with absolutely no early support from very mindblind parents who didn't even teach me how to use a bank account (even though they are both brilliant!!) They actually told me i should not be a painter but should be an academic - which i tried to do 3 times and failed abysmally at, (in spite of fantastic teritary grades) mainly because tertiary institution life required executive function to some degree and a capacity to deal with people even in corridors on a daily basis. (ugh.)
At an early age, i saw a painting of a boat on a river by Signac. it is on eof his better known paintings. i was enthralled and enchanted by the pointillist technique. And for as long as i remember i just looked at art books from infancy.....it was my dream.
My work is not at all pointillist today. but i did become a painter against all odds.
Last year i was doing ok from it financially. this year since the stock crash and recession in the U.S which is now impacting Australian art markets, I am a poor painter. but that is ok. it is what i love to do and i do it on my own without having to deal with other people too much.
but since my diagnosis, i am also just not as fixated on my painting because i am absorbing the reality of my AS and my life in the context of this new paradigm. a bit of a period of lostness actually......
Last edited by millie on 18 Dec 2008, 11:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Back when i was in 3rd grade, the teacher gave the class an assignment, it was a very simple one, Draw on a page what you want to be when you grow up. Everybody had their own dreams, one guy wanted to be a DJ, someone else wanted to be a doctor and another a firefighter. I on the other hand, well i didn't have a f*ckin clue. In the end the teacher even called my parents cause i "Refused" to do the work. in the end i ended up just drawing what my dad does for a living, Ive never let this down.
A few years before that i had a similar task given to me in art class. "Draw your most exciting dream". Of course, i couldn't do it. everybody else was blasting ahead on their dreams, while there i was, unable to figure it out. In the end the teacher gave me a suggestion and i went with it, i drew a picture of me Skydiving. Now to this day, the only dream i DO have, is my unrelentless need to go skydiving. (Funny thing is, this work was a drawing contest for the whole province i believe, and i somehow managed to win, i won a Tshirt and something else i forget)
Im now 23, i live by myself, and Ive had many many jobs ranging from computers, to woodworking, to a lot of other things, and even now, i don't have any ambition, i don't know what i want to do mainly cause Ive never really wanted to do anything.
Can anybody shed some light on this for me?
Your claim about how everyone else knew what they wanted to be, etc... is BULL! It is an illusion! If ANYONE claimed anything, it was a fantasy based on a fantasy based on some kids dumb idea of what it was.
When I was in the FIRST grade, and probably younger, I KNEW I wanted to be an electronic engineer! I STUDIED to be one! Even the ASVAB I took when I was in the 10th grade showed I knew MORE about electricity and machinery than MANY in the 14th grade(sophomores in COLLEGE)! The whole time, it seemed like almost all others were interested in some stupid extracurricular school activity, some TOTAL fantasy, or NOTHING! I knew people that wanted to be superheros, police, firemen, sports figures, politicians, artists, millionaires, etc.... They spoke like they could merely desire it. EVEN being a policeman or fireman was far harder then.
As for me, I decided to switch my goal to computers around 1980. Computers were starting to take off, and electronics was getting more complicated. Being so well versed in electronics helped me a lot with computers.
Last edited by 2ukenkerl on 18 Dec 2008, 10:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Yes, i agree, it might have been nothing more then a fantasy and probably none of them ever became what they wanted to be, but eventually they moved on and found other things they wanted to do and become, and have done those things. I haven't even entered the Illusion stage.
That's funny, & said well. I used to be a superhero altruist until I got abused one too many times. I was even in the Coast Guard and did search and rescue and felt like I was contributing to society. After my last professor, whom I trusted and loved dearly, tried to use me and then mistreated me for not playing along, I have turned into a kind of super-villain. I've soured on NTs who engage in bully behaviors.
I think the only good people are like the ones like I used to be: AS who have not yet been taught by NTs how to hate and be bitter, and people like my sister in law, who is a Dominican nun. I.e. people who practice humility and grace.
Unfortunately, I'm not one of those people. I've turned into a b***h who is itching to backhand any NT who tries to bully me. It's a bad attitude that has to be unlearnt.
The most bitterness develops in formerly altruistic people who were the most innocent and trusting before being mortally betrayed. It's better to form realistic and limited expectations of the world BEFORE graduating from high school. Then you won't lose your mind because you'll have some cognitive structures for setting boundaries between your world of expectations and those who defy them.
nothingunusual
Veteran

Joined: 22 May 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 511
Location: Belfast, Ireland.
Every time I was asked as a child "What do you want to be when you grow-up?", I remember thinking that the notion that at such a young age I could have any idea whatsoever was amazing.
The first thing I (eventually) wanted to be was a forensic pathologist.
_________________
For time has imprisoned us,
In the order of our years,
In the discipline of our ways,
And in the passing of momentary stillness.
We can see our chaos in motion.
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