What would it be like if you lived in an AS Community/Home?

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Two things about my AS husband:

(1) It was a hassle that things had to be a certain way, there were certain rituals, rules, etc. But these weren't "important" rules, just stuff like the cotton in the pill bottles had to be thrown away immediately or he would freak out.

(2) It was pretty cool that he didn't need for me to talk all the time and that he had his own space and I did, too.

I think that with anything else, and like with NT roommates, it depends on the fundamental natures of the people and whether they respect each other, etc, as to whether they would be good in a shared house.

Just like regular roommates, except maybe you have more space, fewer expectations of socializing you have to engage in, and probably bigger blow ups and some meltdowns.

It's also entirely possible that just being labeled with ODD would cause others around you to treat you badly based on it. If a person who "has" ODD brings up a legitimate concern, it's often dismissed as negativity on their part. "Oh don't mind them, they have ODD. They argue for the sake of arguing, just ignore them." In fact, when you have ANY sort of 'mental disorder', you often get treated as if your problems are all in your head.

When I was diagnosed with ODD I was somewhere where my aspie traits wouldn't show: in a hospital with other guys that made an effort to approach me on the level that I prefered to be approached at that time, so stuff felt natural. They didn't see the behaviours my parents saw at home, so they figured i was "honeymooning" basicly learning how to be defiant and get away with it. Worst part was, I couldn't see or talk to my family for a week, and they are the people I am closest to. Anyways, my AS traits didn't show when they were diagnosing me, so they thought they had it bang on. And in NA there is a general idea that you can't be under the spectrum if your not a rainman, so unless a medical professional knows his stuff, you're not getting diagnosed as being under the spectrum unless you and rainman share a lot of traits.

Treatment for ODD was hell, they basicly tried to break me of the behavioural traits that were from AS and not that I was defiant, but that I just couldn't due to some sensitivy, or hatred of being harrassed, or something else.

And as a note, I am not American, and never will be. I am proudly Canadian.

Personally speaking, I've not been around that many fellow Aspies unless it's the once- in a blue moon when there is special presentations being held somewhere involving a guest speaker(s) at the event, only then have I seen many fellow Aspies in one singular place but, the experience was not bad just, somewhat quirky with some people acting as if he/she was on a game show .Still, I would like to be around other Aspies as long as it was not in an environment where everyone is going Quirky in a manner that causes all people to become unruly or such.. Well, may everyone be able to find some serenity in your lives..

crap. that sounds pretty bad. I'm pretty sure I have ODD as well but my parents didn't like the idea of punishing me for it when they knew it was not mean-spirited. usually they would just tell me to do exactly the opposite as they wanted and then I'd do the opposite lol. most teachers used that method with me too.

I only ever had problems with it at work and those few times when I was being questioned by the police.

Is it maybe the price of the rent that's putting people off?

I have kinda had this experience when on a holiday with a group of Aspies this summer, 6 of us in all (plus the facilitator of our AS society). We shared two caravans. There was also a similar trip last year. And they were pretty successful trips.

Living together would be different. Of course living in close proximity sharing rooms or just having a room within a house might also be offputting. People need more independence than that. Aspies especially need more independence than that. Own space is an absolute must. But I have long thought that Aspie/autistic specific blocks of apartments - therefore having your own apartment - would be just the ticket. I'd very happily live in such a place.

Whatever form such housing would take it would need to be supported if at least by a support worker who visits at certain times. In Edinburgh and the Lothians, if such housing existed, it would probably be supported by Number 6, an autism centre and drop-in which I attend.
With or without such support, it should certainly be ensured that some of the Aspie residents are high functioning and experienced. Which, taking our AS society into consideration, there are such people to ensure a balance. They'd have to be independent kinds of Aspie too, but that is what members of our society happen to be anyway. We pretty much all live alone.

This sort of housing is a good idea, if I don't say so myself. Especially given single Aspies can be so vulnerable living in neighbourhoods, some more so than others depending on the individual.

And it wouldn't have to cost $700-750. Here, housing association flat wouldn't cost anywhere near that.

I think that if we just took randomly chosen people with autism or AS and stuck them in a house then thigns might not work out well. I think that an AS / autist community could work if there was careful planning, we would need to choose where to put people to get the best combination in each part of the community.

I think I would get on OK if was sharing space with another person with AS as long as the person was right for me. But I can see some ways in which some AS people would rub other AS people up the wrong way. Imagine putting the "party hard brigade" in with the "early to bed mob", the two lots would be very unhappy.

I would like to know how would a AS community fund its self, would the more high functioning members go out to work each day while those who can not get jobs work in the living area. Would the community start up some commerical activity.

For instance the Jesus Army in the UK operate a number of businesses (http://www.newcreation.org.uk/nccc/busi ... ndex.shtml) what would the AS community do to put food on the table and a roof over its heads. Please do not just say computers, I am sure that we could do more than just computers and the "IT bubble" burst ages ago which makes it much harder to make money out of computers.

how is anyone supposed to know what something is like if they havent done it?


also why would just anyone need to live in a home? the reason they have group and residential homes [at least in uk] is because the residents have too high support needs-and councils either cant afford or dont want to pay for the same amount of support,and security , in someones own place,so they put all together,and use less staff for those who aren't 1-1/2-1.
some people in the uk will get full day and night support in their own home-but usually they only have one staff,and that is through non specialised direct payment or crap agencies,but thats not much different from residential homes now anyway-as they're all trying to get away with using agency staff where they can.

would never recommend living with other auties or aspies in a residential/group home-or in a residential/group home at all, if self does not have that high need of support.
its constant clashing because of all having complex needs,unless are living in an institution sized building and there's a lot of space-something like that isnt going to work.people with other disabilities [especially downs] are a lot easier to live with.

as for a community [why would it have to only be for as?] it works for mixed disabilities-such as the camphill communities,so one that was wide spaced enough could work.

Personally, I think it'd be like special needs ... prob already mentioned, but didn't read this all the way through. I'm a busy man

If your under the spectrum, you probably don't have ODD. I don't, the didn't diagnose me properly. ODD is where someone has a problem with authority, and defies people for the sake of defying them. Wikipedia it, as they are a little more specific than that. But anyways, point is, I don't have it, they just figured that was it.

P.S. Just to be serious for a moment, I voted for the last one ... minus eating the rats. Unless ...

I think that KingdomOfRats has a good point, how can a person know for sure what something is like unless they have tried it. I think that while unless you have done somethings you will never be able to fully understand what the thing is like, it is impossible for any one human to experience all things on this earth. I think that it is possible to make an educated guess as to what something will be like.

The closest I have been to the idea of a shared aspie community is living in halls of residence at university for a toal of about 4.25 years of my life. Living in a hall is very different to living in your own house.

I imagine that the worst possible shared living place for aspies and autists would be the JRC, I doubt if anyone here would agree to go and live there. I suspect that the place which KingdomOfRats is living in is better than the JRC, but I do not think it would suit all people who are on the AS / Autustic spectrum.

What I think might be the thing with the best chance of working is an AS / HFA 'hall of residence'. But to make it work many questions would need to be addressed.

1. What age group can live there
2. Are NTs allowed to set foot there or even stay, if the AS man/woman ends up with a NT partner from outside the hall. Would the partner be allowed to stay overnight with the resident.
3. How would the bills be paid for
4. What general rules would be needed.
5. What would the right population density in the hall be
6. How good should the sound insulation between rooms be
7. What hobbies and sports should be allowed, and where on site.
8. Would pets be allowed, and if so what rules would exist
9. Who should be in charge / how does the hall goven its self
10 Which DX will quailify a person to live in the hall.

A (hypothetical) "Top Ten Reasons Why An AS House Idea is Cool"

10. You are not alone, but in a group of people who generally try to help each other
9. No demands that you engage in constant bonding and stroking rituals you don't understand and want to make time for
8. Relationship rules are concrete (don't touch my bike or I will meltdown) and don't involve maintaining others' egos and delusions
7. People who will do things with you, with your own perspective, help you figure out how to do things
6. Finally, people who will not brush off your need to talk about, nitpick and analyze an encounter or conversation you didn't understand
5. Good chance house will have talented people, and a house with music, art, history, science and learning in it
4. Pool time and resources for group meals that are healthy and keep you on a mood-stabilizing AS diet (no gluten, etc)
3. Become instant focus for typically disconnected AS in your area, with a list of contacts, a network of friends and supportive families
2. Meet, in your roommates, other AS girls and men to be friends with and exchange info about coping with traits, issues
1. Roommates who get what you're going through and don't judge you, demonize you for your missteps and meltdowns.

I imagine it wouldn't be much different than living in the world I live in now. People would be just the same. Because they're human.

If you get to pick the people whom you're going to live with, it would be different.

No one would pick those that hate them, with which they get into arguments all the time, who spread nasty rumours about one.

And one would pick those who they're most similar to. (If they want to live peacefully.)

An autistic person who had silent shutdowns would probably not choose to move in with another who has violent meltdowns. Or one who's extremely verbal would probably soon get on the nerves of a person who avoids and/or cannot maintain such verbal communication. And one who'd have a heavy sense of right and wrong would find it impossible to live with a person who has trouble with this moral code due to their impulsiveness and lack of understanding of social rules. What would happen if two autistic people get into each other's way with their rigid routines?

These are after all topics that autistic people get into arguments even over the Internet. Without having met each other personally before that. I imagine that such people would not live together without serious drama and problems.

If these problems would be considered beforehand, if there were a period of testing how living together works out I think a part of the autistic community would benefit from living together. As always, some would not, but some others would. It largely depends on their autistic traits and their personalities and opinions.

yes, that's exactly the case with me. I don't know much about it's connection with ASDs but I've been told that this, along with lack of eye-contact, touch aversion and not being interested in other humans was why I was suspected autistic as a child.

as much as I don't like the idea of having it I guess it's still better than the alternative (i.e. I could control it if I wanted to but I don't because I'm pure evil).

I see how you could've been misdiagnosed with it though.

but meh, whatever. offtopic, as usual.

Also, keep in mind that oftentimes, people are different in person than they are online. I have met quite a few Aspies, including some from WP, and they have been the most relaxed, fun people I have ever met.