Do You Avoid Friendships Out of a Fear of Being Conned?

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After all I've been through with people, I suppose I'd have huge issues with trust if I ever started a friendship with someone. But trust is a thing that develops with time, and my relationships never last that long anyway, so my distrust doesn't become an issue in my life anyway.

I dont take the initiative anymore. If someone wants to be my friend they can come to me I'm not coming to them. This makes it easier for me to control the situation and reduce the risk of being taken for a ride.

I used to be afraid of hanging out with people I don't know because I was afraid they'd take advantage of me and maybe trick me into doing a crime and I don't even know until it's too late. The court isn't going to care if I have a disability and I didn't understand what was going on at the time.

But then I decided I was going to have to take chances or else I would never get a partner. Life's full of risks.

Yup. Been conned (read "back-stabbed") by friends and family, too. I avoid both, except for my own husband and children.

These days I proceed with caution.

I've learnt not to judge a person by an isolated incident, as I may have just caught them on a bad day, but if there is no attempt at making amends, or it becomes a pattern, then I tend to avoid person in question.
I've had a few " friends" who would only hang out with me if they didb't have anything better to do or anyone"better" to do it with; or implied by word or action that I'd be acceptable if only I could be like someone else.

That hurts. Don't need it.

I'm too trusting of people, actually, and I acknowledge that. Even people I'd quite readily admit to hating, I trust. Even while speculating on everything they could do to take advantage of the trust, which I do every time.

Odd.

That sounds a bit paranoid. I am reluctant to get to close to people (outside of family, of course) unless I see a basis for closeness. Is there a congruence of interests? Is there a similarity of outlook? Can we be of mutual benefit? Etc. Etc. My reluctance is not out of fear of being hurt (I can take care of myself) but out of concern for intruding on the privacy of another. I am very big on privacy.

However I always try to have cordial relations to people I deal with regularly and often, whether it be close or not. And I always strive to be polite, even to strangers I encounter along the way. Having good manners does not require that much effort and it makes the occasional bumps and collisions tolerable.

ruveyn