Big NO-NOs in NT society

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Wow, I've already broken most of the rules that were posted here the hard way. :O

I suppose I should also add a rule I've learned from personal experience:

Never attempt to shut down a conversation or you will be seen as very rude.

Shutting down a conversation is defined as giving extremely indecisive answers (such as "I don't know") in response to questions that are asked of you and responding with "Ok" when others express opinions/thoughts that you don't necessarily care about.

I thought that this was a polite way to get someone to leave me alone, but I can see why it made people angry after reading that thread titled "NT's do things with their conversations". By that same principle, rejecting the questions of others must be the same as rejecting the person asking them.

Looking at any one person too long and saying nothing is a no-no. They assume that you are insulting them for some reason.

Also consider how you say things, and is it really worth it.

Also they may freak out about it. They may also think you are angry with them.

When others are expecting you to say something, but you have nothing intelligent to say, find a way to excuse yourself from the conversation rather than saying something stupid.

I am sorry that has happened to you. I was taught that manners open doors.

I once got hired at a job because I came in and introduced myself, and extended my hand to shake hands with the supervisor(we shook hands). I guess he was a little shocked, but impressed at my manners, and politeness, or something. I was hired immediately. I didn't last very long because of my anxiety got in my way.

My nugget of wisdom for this thread. When someone tells you something bad happened to them, tell them something like "I'm sorry that happened to you" rather than just "I'm sorry." People always reply with "It's not your fault" if you just say "I'm sorry." Then you have to do the awkward backtracking of your meaning, and then it hardly matters anymore.

I never knew this. I always understood that people tend to be rather exasperated by deep thinkers, but I don't understand why they would be distrustful.

Blows my mind, to say the least.



My NT roommate and I don't have a TV. We don't miss having one. However, whenever anyone comes into our room, they always act like they would die instantly if they did not possess a personal television. I thought that was just because I went to a university filled with generally rich kids, but maybe it's universal.



I have that problem too. To me, it's obviously related to the topic. To whomever I'm speaking with, however, it's rather random.

This is all well and nice, but what do you do in the mean time? "So and so is such a b***h, blah blah blah..."-coworker "...(silent pause)..."-me. This is one thing that used to really bug me, the fact that people would constantly back bite, words mean nothing and everything at the same time... Staying positive, keeping a neutral stance on a disagreement is impossible. You have to agree, or come up with some clever string of words that play this problem away.

NO-NO:

Being silent in a group. Either there is something "wrong," or you will be taken as being a shifty fellow.

Saying anything negative is a no-no. But ironically smiling or being overly positive seems a no-no too. Other things not to do: farting, scratching, clearing throat, sniffling nose, blowing or wiping nose, taking medicine in front of people, picking scabs or boogers, not tipping high enough even if the waiter was bad, asking people to repeat themselves and saying "bless you" after a person sneezes as that's now considered bad since so many people are atheists these days. Even saying "Sorry I don't speak Spanish" has gotten me into trouble.

- Saying what you think of a male friend's mum.
- Saying thank you too much.
- Shaking someones hand too aggresively. (makes it look like a display of power/threat)
- Giving a girl too much eye contact in attempt to try to look confident.
- Standing next to two people. Talking to one person and leaving out the other.
- Taking things seriously (always assume people are joking and being unreal . . . just to be safe)
- Walking, head down to the ground.
- Laughing to yourself.
- Talking to yourself.
- Counting with fingers.
- Not wearing deodorant.
- Black shoes, white socks. (apparently . . . lol)

JR, you asked: "what do you do in the mean time?" I posted the answer to that above, a few posts after my initial one.

Big NO-NO:

Don't EVER tell someone above you in the formal or the informal pecking order that you're angry / hurt at them. You're expected to backstab them, or hurt someone below you instead.

I got in trouble for that once, cos I was emailing my friend, then my mum was there telling some boring story about her ex who now just wants to be friends, so when my friend emailed back, I glanced at the screen and couldn't help smiling a bit cos what he said was funny. So Mum tells me off. And before that, she'd been telling some version of the same story, and I almost said something which I thought was funny but I knew she wouldn't have, so I kept it in my head, but I couldn't help smiling. I may as well have just SAID it.

^ Yeah haha that happens alot too. If she does happen to take notice and is offended, i would probably just be up front and honest about it though. Its always a wierd situation though.

No matter what, never ever suggest/recommend/ask/expect an NT to look inside themselves. They believe our inner world is the very representation of hell, with sulphur bubbling, fire tongues and all. They'll shun you, for they'll start seeing you as a dangerous person who's trying to lure them into hell.

Good manners goes a long way with older people and upper management types. I am certain it has played a big role in having good success with my career. On the other hand I don't and have never had any friends. It does impress some women a lot and I've had some success with women romantically. Most NT women don't know how to react to proper behavior because they've never seen it before and therefore shun me.