I think Wrongplanet has lost its way

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millie
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13 Jan 2009, 12:48 pm

Quote:

DW_a_mom wrote:

I think all forums struggle with keeping their focus and direction.

And, honestly, it may be harder for an AS forum, precisely because many AS really struggle with social skills, on-line as well as in real life. If someone struggles with understanding appropriate humor in real life, isn't that going to be worse on line? If someone struggles to know when something is meant as a personal insult and when it isn't in real life, isn't that going to be worse on-line? It's hard to imagine any forum being immune to the side effects of the mode of communication.

Compared to my experience at parenting forums, I would say that both AS forums I have visited are blunt and combative. It took quite some getting used to for me, even though I can say I should have expected it. People with AS tend to be more blunt, and also tend to believe very, very firmly in their positions. It's one of those combined blessing/curse things, depending on the situation.

I haven't run around facebook much, so I can't compare to that. Or to anything frequented by teens and young adults; my internet experience is pretty much parents, and we are a different breed to start with, sort of, lol.

But I'm not too worried. This is a great site. It will ultimately self-regulate. A few people will be hurt, but that is the way of life on the internet. I haven't figured out how to prevent that - if I ever do, I'll be sure to let the managers know.

hey dw - a mom....i think that is true - about As and the issue of bluntness and also being opinionated. these are two criticisms that have been thrown at me my whole life.

DW_a_mom
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13 Jan 2009, 12:53 pm

millie wrote:

hey dw - a mom....i think that is true - about As and the issue of bluntness and also being opinionated. these are two criticisms that have been thrown at me my whole life.

So is the experience of many.

I did try to say it nicer than that, though - "believing very firmly in their opinions" v. "opinionated." And I didn't mean it as a criticism; it does have it's time and place. I hope readers understand that when they read my post.

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millie
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13 Jan 2009, 12:56 pm

i don't have a problem with what you were saying at all.

benjimanbreeg
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13 Jan 2009, 1:00 pm

mitharatowen wrote:

I haven't been here too long but I personally really enjoy this site. Maybe there's some jerks, I haven't really noticed. I only pay attention to what catches my interest.

I am posting on this thread because I thought I'd bring in a bit of a different perspective: In my opinion, this thread is more discouraging to the overall veiw of WP than a few flame wars. I would assume that a newbie who finds flame wars would just assume there are some jerks here and there. But a newbie seeing this thread would feel discouraged about the overall tone of WP since this is what this thread is promoting.

Seems to me like the proper way to advocate change is to make more positive, supporting threads/posts yourself rather than more negative ones.
JMO.

I don't think so. And if it was someone really low functioning or just generally shy and stuff, I personally think it would scare them. I hope people wouldn't feel intimidated by what I write.

I don't post anymore really. Mainly cause I got fed up of arguing, and keeping up with different threads is tiring. But yeah, other people should just make more positive threads and try and resist starting a thread, they know will start a huge aggressive argument.

Danielismyname
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13 Jan 2009, 1:05 pm

There's a way?

benjimanbreeg
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13 Jan 2009, 1:26 pm

Danielismyname wrote:

There's a way?

lol

lyricalillusions
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13 Jan 2009, 1:49 pm

pezar wrote:

I personally think there's a problem in the AS community with "self-diagnosed aspies" who aren't really aspie at all but think it's way cool to claim to be one because it sounds way rebellious. It reminds me of how all the white hippies were claiming to be 5% Navajo in the 1970s-it was cool to be seen as an oppressed minority. I think we're coming into another era where being seen as a certain minority group that is perceived to be rebellious against the system is the "in thing", and autistics just happen to be it. The good news is that just like Native Americans went from "dumb Injun" stereotypes to being seen as human because of the 5% Craze, all the fake self-dx going on now will ultimately benefit those of us who really ARE autistic, in that we will be seen as real people worthy of consideration. In the meantime, the fakes are turning discussion forums upside down with flame wars and angry pseudo-advocacy. It is hurting those of us who ARE AS, because we are naturally klutzy socially and forever misunderstood by NTs, and we get ganged up on on our own forums.

This isn't true of everyone... at all. I'm very new to this site, & am undiagnosed (self-diagnosed, I guess you could say). I certainly didn't come here to start trouble. In fact, I shy away from trouble if at all possible. I joined this site because I truly believe that I do have Asperger's & if I had been tested as a child, I believe I would have gotten a diagnosis. If I figure out how to be tested, I'm fairly certain I would be diagnosed. I joined this site to possibly find some understanding. It isn't fair to discriminate against all who are self-diagnosed or undiagnosed, just because some may be causing problems. Some people just haven't been fortunate enough to have received an "official" diagnosis. Most of the people joining this site as "self-diagnosed," I'm sure, joined because they truly believe they have Asperger's/autism & are causing no problems at all.

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Kangoogle
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13 Jan 2009, 1:52 pm

benjimanbreeg wrote:

After reading the "you people" thread. And I think the OP has a point. Maybe the place is just over crowded now. But it seems to be getting like Myspace forums. Even worse in fact. Cause a lot of people on the spectrum don't have a pinch of humility. Think about it. Some new member comes along who has trouble socalising, feels alone and thinks this place will be the support they are looking for. Then clicks on the first thread they come across and see some outreagous flame war. I'm sure they're gonna feel more than at home

The solution to that problem would be to make members to have a couple of posts in the introduction forums before they can see the rest of the site. The catch is that we would reduce the number of members that end up joining.

lyricalillusions
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13 Jan 2009, 1:57 pm

mitharatowen wrote:

I agree.

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pandd
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13 Jan 2009, 3:04 pm

garyww wrote:

Yead I did that 'who has AS' thread and thought I'd get a contract put out on me so that's not a good place to go.

The reaction to that thread was actually rather extreme, and somewhat exceptional. You are not the first to have raised the question, nor the most recent. I have no idea why the thread you posted happened to be the one where the normally much more mild and reasonable reaction to that particular question went way over the top. Just one of those things I suppose.

It (the over the top response) actually seemed somewhat uncalled for in my opinion. It was just a question and not a particularly rude or insulting one at that.

NocturnalQuilter
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13 Jan 2009, 4:00 pm

Having been a member (or former member) of many forums I can say from some experience that this site is quite like any othe- with all the attributes and foibles that an open discussion forum carries with it.
However, I will say that unlike many of the other forums, there is a much higher degree of tolerance for different view points and even arguments.
Check out the HGTV forums or the Home Entertainment Talk forums. They have a core group of participants (not mods) that pretty much dictate what can and cannot be posted. And don't even think about posting an opposing view point- that'll get you banned within minutes. They are what I call the Stepford Borg Forums and are the most unwelcoming forums ever created. Conversely, if you enjoy warm and fluffy nonsense filled with nothing but compliments, those are the boards for you.
This one is fine.

Tim_Tex
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13 Jan 2009, 4:08 pm

There used to be some favoritism going on on WP (remember the "appreciation threads"?), but it has died down now.

NQ, I got that same treatment on the HGTV boards. I wasn't banned, but I was sure treated as an outsider.

lionesss
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13 Jan 2009, 4:27 pm

I joined in August and I have enjoyed it here a lot. There are no other forums that I can possibly say that I have really liked. Heck I even got into some serious fights with some members on other forums and got myself kicked out! All due to personality clash and them not understanding where I am coming from. As far as WP goes, I have finally found a place where I can be myself. I do think that these forums also go through phases and perhaps WP is going through a phase now. We need to be patient with it, and it will iron out soon... just because one day or a few days there are fights or heavy opinions going on doesn't mean you should give up on it right away. I'm sorry if you felt unwelcomed.. it's not intentional and I think we tend to get caught up in what we are expressing and thinking and don't always notice newcomers or some threads that members create..

Tim_Tex
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13 Jan 2009, 4:44 pm

I have been on here since July 2004 (only a month after WP was created), and could remember when there were only just over 100 members.

I have mostly had a good time on here.

garyww
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13 Jan 2009, 4:44 pm

Stepford Borgs, That's just frigging great. How do you come up with this stuff.

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mosez
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13 Jan 2009, 4:51 pm

lionesss wrote:

Totally agree with you. I was browsing the net to find answers, after I started to suspect that I might have AS. When I found WP, I thought I was in heaven, and have learned a lot during my short time here. I was maybe to eager and had too high hopes in the beginning, felt ignored and wanted out. I also said so in a couple of angry posts.
So, I got some friendly advise to stay and see how things developed. I'm glad I did. I have not noticed any real bad postings, just noticed that a few bad treads was locked.
But I usually read and post here or at the members only. And off cause I can't tell how WP was before I joined

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