Are there any independent aspies here?

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I have lived alone for most of my adult life (except for early years in the Army, when I was in the barracks.) I graduated college with a degree in music education. Served in the US Army for seven years (five in Europe.) For the last 18 years (as a civilian), I've managed my money, gone to technical school, never been fired from a job, helped to found a non-profit youth organization - and pretty much gotten along in every respect, except socially.

I just received my diagnosis last week (from a psychologist who specializes in adult AS) & meet all eight criteria in sections A & B of the DSM-IV. I'm pretty sure he took into consideration all the things I struggle with - even if they don't pose a significant problem for me. Just because I've found ways to work around my AS characteristics, doesn't mean that I don't still possess those characteristics.

(Great topic, by the way!)

I am sort of independent.

I can drive, I work two jobs.
I graduated from college with a Bachelor's Degree in Education.
I can go to the store, and call people on the phone if I have to.
I pay the bills, although I can be late sometimes.
I take care of my son and his mother.

But we are being assisted by family. The house we live in is mostly free to us. We pay utilities and a small monthly fee. Family takes care of the rest. They do it for the stability and comfort it provides my son. If it was just me and my girlfriend, we'd be out of there super-quick.

The jobs I work are not full-time and have no benefits. The pay is OK, but obviously nowhere near sufficient to support even a small family. We live paycheck to paycheck most of the time. Even though I have decent academic credentials to get a full-time teaching job, which would support us, I have had a lot of troubles with job interviews and following up and doing all the social things necessary to getting a good job.

I almost did not graduate from college. I failed a number of classes and really screwed up due to executive function and social issues. I was actually in the process of being kicked out, when I had one professor stick up for me and convinced the dean to let me stay and finish my degree.

There are still some rather large steps yet to take before I can consider myself fully independent. It will probably take me at least another 5 years. Which is depressing. But I'm trying to just work with what I've got and accept reality.

I don't know but because there are none aspies out there too who don't want to drive because they can't afford insurence or a lisence or having a car is too expensive they say so they rather take public transportation.

Not knowing how to drive? It's easy to do. I started when I was 15 and I saw how easy it is. You just get behind the wheel and turn the car on and go on the road but you just have to know how to operate the car like how to put it in gear and reverse, how to turn on the head lights, where to turn on the windshield wipers. Anyone would have that problem if they used someone else's car, they would have to look for where to turn on the lights and wind shield wipers and look for where to turn on the AC or heat. But the lights and wipers are usually next to the steering wheel so at least they keep that the same. Same as automatics and stick shifts.

I don't know why people say they don't know how to drive, maybe they have never done it before so they think they don't know how. I used to say the same because I thought I didn't know how and I was surprised I did when I drove for the first time when I was 15 so that could be the same reason why people say they don't know how to drive. They have never done it before.

I'm very independent. I work, I own an apartment, I drive, I can handle money etc. I can do all the practical things that are necessary in order to be independent.

Drive-way and other skills topic

I have already explained my driving challenges in another thread.

I have worked most of my adult life, owned a house for 13 years, and had three kids. I am good with money but I had a partner with a gambling addiction (I did not see it) and this resulted in bankruptcy, credit issues and being forced to sell my house. Partner promptly squandered his portion of the house sale. I am no longer living with him. I have moved on, thankfully, and am independent with my two youngest.

This is a really helpful thread for me, as I'm still trying to get it straight in my head whether or not I accept that I'm an Aspie. I reached middle age as someone who considered himself just geeky, awkward and a bit shy, and by chance also clumsy. Although when I was introduced to the tests I scored "most likely an Aspie", and subsequent reading of diagnostic criteria, books by Attwood etc also makes it seem very likely, some days I think I can't be.

That's not because I think it would be a terrible thing to be on the spectrum, but because I seem to have less to cope with than most people who post here. I stim only midly, and though I sometimes just crash out and sleep for an extravagant period I don't have meltdowns. I'm married, have children, have had the same job for nearly 20 years, have a house and mortgage, cope OK with most things. Before I married I went to university and managed to live alone for about three years (but without ever learning to cook, admittedly.) I don't drive, because I have poor coordination and depth perception, and I can't expect to rise any higher at work because I can't do the socialising, but I'm kind of middle management so it's not too bad.

Actually, getting to understand all this has given me a better understanding of how I fail to interact with people. I actually didn't appreciate how terrible I am at eye contact for instance, and yet somehow I've managed to do reasonably OK. I don't play a proper part in the social world of the firm, don't see people on a social basis outside the office and so on, but being dependable and clever has evidently been enough for me to coast along anyway. And sometimes in quite unexpected ways I do well at something - I was told recently by someone at church that I'm a good listener and didn't like to explain that it's because I can't usually think of anything to say!

I'm really low functioning compared to even Aspies. I've never had a girlfriend or any real friends. I live with family and although I did manage to complete college my work history sucks. It took a lot to get use to driving and I'm still not real comfortable with it. I got my license when I was 25 ( I'm now 28 ). I have really low social functioning. There are people near retardation that have better social skills then me.

Not me. I'm trying to be more independent. I sort of appear to be 'normal' but actually my life is a bit of a train wreck. I'm a dx aspie girl, and while I'm not that bad that I can't look after myself or live independently, I have a lot of problems. Haven't had a job for 2 years, but do now. Can't drive, would like to, but not sure if I should. Terrible with money, paperwork, organising life but trying to learn budgeting etc.

WOW! Dude you are a lot like me in every aspect. I don't understand those guys who are more independent and are Aspies and are just like NTs. Maybe they are NLD.

That's not atypical; that's run-of-the-mill for most people with Asperger's (better actually, as you completed college).

can you manage your money and budget,
Yes, i'm in charge of out money. But I am not very good at managing it I do find that hard.


hold down a job,
Yes in a disability specific organisation otherwise with great difficulty

take care of yourself,
Yeah live independently

drive a car?
yeah got my licence at 28 rather than 18 though because of my AS and immaturity when younger