How My Diagnosis Changed My Life

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Kinda the same story here.

I submit that they were trying to help you take it in good humor? As the Shin'a'in proverb goes, "the road to disaster is planned by the well-meaning, ordered by the righteous, and paved with good intentions." If my experience is anything to go by, they just thought they were being funny, and they weren't thinking. I think there should be a law against diagnosing children with AS without making damned sure they are given the benefit of discretion. Give the information to the administration, so they will know better how to handle any fires that happen to pop up. Certainly not the teachers, though: most of them just aren't equipped to handle the responsibility. Not that there's anything wrong with them personally, but they just don't have the training to deal with this kind of stuff and can't be GIVEN the training without depriving the rest of the classroom. It's better to leave THEM completely out of it, which is probably where they prefer to be anyway.

Because they were poorly briefed. I bet that someone used the phrase, "Asperger Syndrome is a disease." AS is not a disease. It is a disorder, and it implies that the peson being diagnosed with it has good intentions and normal intelligence. A diagnosis with AS is for all practical purposes a plain-spoken recognition of the fact that we aren't trouble-makers and don't mean to say or do some of the poorly calculated things we do.

Was the person responsible for this decision snorting cocaine? Nevermind. I don't want to know. They were putting ME through that crap. Don't they realize how embarrassing this stuff actually is? They could have discreetly GIVEN you a schedule and GIVEN you a chance to keep your appointments for yourself and not announce it over the intercom! Don't they realize that an unanticipated disruption like that is the worst thing you can do with someone with AS? I mean way to pour salt on the wounds, people. What were they thinking?

Go to university. The graduation ceremony is just that: it's a way to make the occasion feel special and important, so kids will think of taking their education more seriously. You took your education seriously WITHOUT that bait, without the promise of honors, recognition, fireworks, or intonations. Yeah, a ceremony is nice, and it really hurts to be cheated of something like that. It's just that, though: one more indignity. You've borne up under worse.

There is no such thing as a clean break. The wounds will still be there. It's still a good idea, though: it will get you away from people who were a very bad influence on your life. It will give you a chance to lick your wounds in peace. Some time to reflect will be good for you. Just watch out for those aftershocks.

Continue your education for as long as you live, and live a long, healthy life.

I agree. When I first learned of my AS, I was out of the closet and told one of my work partners. I just said a 'type of autism'. Once she (finally) realized I was talking about myself, she immediately started talking to me like I was about 5 years old. This lasted maybe a day and a half, when she forgot, and just talked to me like she always did. I don't think she even remembers doing that, and she hasn't done it since.

But I finally had to transfer to another city in the same company. I handled it here with a lot more clues I learned in WP.

Merle

What about how other people, especially trained professionals and people in authority react to it?

What if people who influence your future can't see beyond the label?



I never wanted my diagnosis to define me and neither did my parents: that's why we decided to take steps to try and remove it.

What if other people professionals etc. choose to define you by your diagnosis instead of getting to know you as a person and letting you have a say in what goes on?

When I was a child, people at school defined me solely by my diagnosis.
That meant that I was excluded from after school sports, until my parents fought for me to be included.

It's funny how sports instructors at my local leisure centre (who weren't informed about my so called "AS") let me participate in sports, but my school was wary of that idea because they were...afraid.

People do judge and that can have a bearing on one's future prospects, opportunities etc.
This fact can't be ignored: people still discriminate and make assumptions.

This is one of the reasons why I'm afraid to seek appropriate help with my social difficulties, if there is indeed any suitable help available for me.

and I have the opposite issue.

I was never diagnosed as a child, teen or adult. When I tried and was pushed and prodded and nagged and ultimately seen as a dissappointment and a waste of my Xxx given talents.

I have eaked out a living over the years and am currently employed. Having been DXed during my current employment I have been able to get the FMLA and intermittant Leave Of Absence and it has helped keeping me employed, but the job is killing me slowly over the years.

there is no help for us that have demonstrated ability (even intermittantly) to be gainfully employed.

Merle

Agrees with this.

This has happened to me.

Everyone needs help from time to time anyway, so why stigmatise it?

Gosh, some people who try and supposedly "help" others seem to just want to pity them and make them feel a million times worse than they already do. They don't half try and run others down for not conforming.

After the AS assessment, I was made to feel "defective" as if there was something seriously wrong with me that needed correcting.

This is why I almost feel angry now that people take this label so lightly.
Years ago, back when I was little, Asperger's Syndrome, was just that, a syndrome. In the eyes of helping professionals it meant that something was wrong with you and it was all your fault and you had to change.

Kids were depicted as crying wrecks inside puzzle pieces.
That was the old NAS logo: I'm not joking.
Sheets were printed showing "defective behaviours" that had to be changed. I was there back in the day. I remember.

I was puzzled as to why people at my school had a problem with me and yet my family and those outside of school did not. That was the real puzzle.

I feel almost cheated now people see AS as a positive thing, why the heck couldn't they have seen that when I was little?
I wasn't stupid.

I might have cooperated more if they all hadn't been so cryptic and secretive about the whole thing.

Some of this information I provided is probably out of date and only relevant to my country.

I don't understand, if you help someone, you try to help: you don't deliberately try and make them feel a million times worse.

If you give someone information, this shouldn't confuse them further or make them feel more angry than they were to start with.

That's what happened with me.
I have no idea why.

I know what you mean, AmberEyes.

The thing is, sure, it was frustrating that most of the other kids didn't like me in elementary and middle school. But at least the teachers treated me like any other student, albeit an odd, but well-behaved one.

If the teachers were to have treated me like the special ed students (didn't acknowledge them, didn't treat them like they were worth teaching) then I don't know HOW I would have turned out.

And it's not as if the situation with my peers would have improved if they knew. The most that the special ed students got was some of the students saying "He. llo. How. Are. You. To. Day?" Of course, they weren't scolded for being condescending, mainly because it was believed that the special ed students didn't have the mental capacity to realize that they were being patronized (and they probably didn't). They had no enemies, but they certainly had no friends.

Hell, back in my school days, the teachers weren't even allowed to tell people about the student's disabilities. Not even the severe ones. The discretion was left up entirely to the individual students.

Kind of disturbing that this is happening in the States too.

Well...

Some of my old teachers treated me this way.
Some adhered to the equation:
AS =Stupid
And certainly didn't believe that I was worth the effort.

I've turned out to be a high achiever (to try and prove them wrong), but pretty screwed at the same time (flash-backs, afraid of seeking help with what social difficulties I do have).

Kind of ironic how the help they offered me may have actually stunted my social development, but anyway...

What about those kids with major difficulties who not only have to cope with these, but also the constant torment by teachers and students?

Help is supposed to mean exactly that: HELP, not a "pity brigade" or systematic harassment.



I've seen trained professionals, doctors and nurses act in this way too. Frightening, really.

If they'd just made the effort to have gotten to know me better as a person instead of making negative assumptions, they'd have treated me like a normal kid.

"Special" has become a playground insult, a kind of euphemism for kids who are believed not to be "quite the ticket". Human nature's cruel sometimes twisting round people's best intentions.

The irony of all of this is not lost on me.

Since I worked out that I have AS, I have been more at peace with myself. I have reached out and made contact with my own kind, but I am not in a hurry to go public.

I think that the quaility of my life has improved as a result of my greater understanding of myself.