Neurotypicals are happier than people with AS

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You're right about that. The clinical definition of AS draws an artificial line in the sand which basically says, "Okay, this is severe enough to count as being officially Asperger Syndrome." If you ask a handful of people "on the spectrum" about whether I have AS, you'd probably get opinions split down the middle.

Whether I am "officially" someone with AS or just have some tendencies that look very AS-like doesn't really matter to me. It does help me to understand some of the "why" of my past, however, and also highlights some personality quirks that I never quite realized I had. Surely this will help me understand myself even better than I do now.

eh...

Happiness, regardless of whether you're NT or have AS, is based on your environment and/or how you are raised. Since an aspie can be more emotionally sensitive and overwhelmed, the little things in our early life that may not affect NTs as much (such as bullying) will easily hurt us more than it should.

If an NT person had a crappy childhood, of course they might be miserable, but they're probably more capable of overcoming these obstacles than they realize. It's all about finding them out for themselves.

Also, I just dont buy the whole "stupid shallow people" concept of NTs. Who is to say that aspies can't be shallow? Heck, I'm one to admit to constantly following the crowd and being picky about who I want around me. And who's to say that NTs can't be intelligent or individuals in their own right? I hung out with mostly NTs my whole life and guess what? They were all nerds. They had higher GPAs and far greater intelligence than I'll ever achieve and I'm pretty sure that most of them didn't have anything to suggest that they were autistic in some way.

In fact, I think it's B.S. to call Asperger's Syndrome an "intelligence syndrome". That's a complete generalization to me. No one is intelligent at EVERYTHING. But everyone is capable of being intelligent about at least something...even if it's just a small thing.

Absolutely true. I am pretty much socially isolated, but I do have one NT friend. Sure enough, there is no end to the social drama, and she's nearly 50 years old. She likes hanging around with me because I am her relief from all the cliques and that kind of thing. When she goes to an event at her kids' school, she gets sucked into the social drama, and it causes problems. Like, friend A isn't speaking to friend B because friend B's kid cheated his way into an afterschool club, but my friend has connections with both people and doesn't want to be in the middle of it, and yet has already committed to helping friend B with a project, even though friend C has promised to help out, and yet hasn't returned an important phone call, maybe because she's upset with friend A...yadda yadda. Nothing like that ever happens to me, because that kind of thing makes me freeze up and disappear. I've avoided stuff like that my whole life, because I just can't stand it. Not only do I not like those kinds of games, I couldn't play them even if I wanted to.

i am nt and i am always aware of why i feel unhappy - if and when i feel unhappy, that is - but i do not obsess about my unhappiness while posting endless blogs and starting threads discussing my emotional state. i also have no meltdowns stims or special interests. and i can deal with my moods quickly and constructively rather than just point to others as the cause of my current emotional state. how i express my emotional state is my responsibility and no one elses.

this may be why i am happily married gainfully employed and well respected in my community.

To KevinLA:

You can say what you want, but I'm afraid you don't speak for me. I am much happier than the NTs I know around me. I am a diagnosed Aspie too. So again, you do not speak for me. I love my interests and my ways. I am an autistic savant and become totally engrossed in happiness with my music and passionate interests. To say that NTs are happier than Aspies is a stereotype and a myth. SOME NTs are happier than SOME Aspies, and SOME Aspies are happier than SOME NTs.

Well said

I has AS but I feel the same as you. Too many people are too quick to say life sucks and it's X,Y and Z's fault. The whole external locus of control thing really gets to me. If I want to be happy then I have to take responsibility for making myself happy. The way I see it, having AS is not an acceptable excuse to just give up and have a pity party.

I also know a lot of NT's who have depression and anxiety too. It's not an exclusively AS problem.

This may be why I am happily married, gainfully employed and well respected in my community.

now that is a sigworthy quote!

good luck!

However... venting frustration != giving up. Being told I'm never allowed to vent really gets to me.

Yeah I hate, I repeat HATE, when I just want to let something out and I hear 'Get a perspective and stop whining.' I would find it easier to keep things in perspective if I were allowed to just let out some angst then get over it. But no. I'm not allowed to have emotions, if I do, I'm a self indulgent sack of crap.

I agree with this. WP is a great place to connect with people who understand. Just because a person posts here often about their difficulties, doesn't necessarily mean that in real life they are moping about like a useless slug. Some probably are, because they are depressed and can't get past that at the moment (been there), but I bet in general, people use this site as the place to let it out. I know I, personally, really crave a connection with people who have AS, because I'm still trying to figure out who I am, and make sense of things that have puzzled me for years. In real life, I just go about my responsibilties and interests, and save the self-analysis for when I'm here. For the most part.

I'm always happy. ALWAYS.
I've been in the worst situations ever and still go "Okay, whatever, lol ".
You can't say "NTs are happier than people with AS" because there are millions of aspies and NTs out there, and not everyone is the same. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.

Yeah same here, in life I rarely talk about it, it seems like attention seeking, but here I feel free to talk about it.

You know the interesting thing about me is that I seem to be simultaneously happier and less happy than others. When I get really engrossed in an obsession of mine I have moments of pure bliss. Yet I struggle with painful boredom and emptiness whenever I'm not engaged in something exciting. Also, anxiety really cripples me. It seems like I'm always existing on the edge whereas other people go through their life on a more even keel. Other people seem to be able to exist comfortably without needing anything to be excited or intrigued about.

It is probably a common misperception in the Asperger's community that NT's are shallow. What looks very shallow and superficial are social interactions that are ritualized, like small talk. This kind of back and forth, inane banter acts as an acknowledgment of someone within the NT's network. The interaction sometimes ends there, and reassures the two small talkers that they are still part of a "team". It's a reinforcement.

Another purpose of small talk, is to serve as a segue to more in depth, relevant conversation. NT's are often as shy and awkward as you are, and the sudden shifts in setting, from being alone to being with others, can't be too abrupt. Even shifts from being with one person to a different person have to be finessed, through weird high fiving, hihowareya "dances". How serious do you think these interactions are? Not very, I can assure you. When people engage in them, they are simply acting. Did you know this? Nt's have great depth, passion, intellect, but have to do a lot of acting in their interactions.

They are more resilient, granted, but don't kid yourself, a good many of them are often as anxiety riddled as Aspies. Joe Sixpack drinks to numb himself, because his life is actually pretty bleak.

Absolutely accurate. It would be false to say, "Most NT people are stupid," because that simply isn't true; there are a great many who are very bright indeed. The curiosity seems to be one of the differences, though. I do think that it's true that a large percentage of NTs are very... not narrow-minded, perhaps, but... content to simply accept that, 'This is how things are,' and 'This is how people are,' and, 'This is the normal thing to do,' and never question why, or contemplate the possibility that there might be alternatives. A great many seem to waste the intelligence they actually possess by choosing to engage in nothing but very mundane activities.