Male / Female AS traits?

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Whaaaat?!?

Have you ever seen The Lion in Winter, with Patrick Stewart? That's a pretty close conceptualization, except there's more people involved.

I think you're right, Unico!
I learned as a little girl how to cooperate and it's a trait that stuck into adulthood--even now I'm probably too good at following the rules.

I guess as a child I understood on a sub-conscious level how to make myself fit in and I just did what I needed to do. The social hierarchy of the playground is very serious stuff and we all know how severe the penalties can be for those who don't blend in. "Fitting in" is most essential survival skill of childhood.

I blended in well enough to get all the way through school, college, work, marriage without even knowing I had a problem. It was quite a revelation when I was diagnosed! I suppose I had developed a habit, an automatic way of adjusting myself to the expectations of others--not perfectly, of course, but well enough to get by.

It's a little hard to describe, but I think I'd say that in most social situations , my personality is something I'm "doing", rather than just "being". That probably sounds sort of pathetic and creepy, but it feels pretty normal, I suppose. I've been doing it so long--I didn't even realize I was doing it until after I was diagnosed and started to get a little self-awareness.

Now that I can look back on my life knowing I had AS the whole time, I can remember many, many instances of true weirdness and odd behavior from my childhood and beyond. But it apparently didn't make much of an impression on anyone around me.

bland-I'm going to respond to those whose posts brought forth a response from me.

Emettman-I absolutely hate romance novels!!

Thepeaguy-autistic chicks may get more action because theyre more vulnerable and men know it.

Danlo-that was a beautiful and honest, howbeit horrifying, admission and I respect you for it.

Aylissa-force themselves to conform...This is so hard! It is extremely hard for me and Im a 37 year old female. I cant imagine how hard it would be for a guy.

Unico-Most excellent explanation!

Kev-...might find more women...church...does not make them more spiritual. Well said. I think that maybe that makes them more social! I dont like church but I love to read the Bible and study theology home. I have thought, however, that it may be harder for males to be spiritual because it involves a certain vulnerability that men seem to have a difficult time with.

Baron-Cohen article-Cohen thinks that autistic children who stare at the spinning blades of a fan may be doing something intelligent. I have thought of this myself. I let my AS son do alot of activities that seen unproductive but I sense that something more is going on. After all, he seems to have skipped some stages in his early development and is making up for it, I think.

You maybe right even men can have empathy though men don't show it because society, likes it men not show it in the end I think for sure. I think men get a bad rap on empathy and many other emotions as well, since men don't show emotions again because of society, and that is how society likes it.

I agree, Kevv. Even NT men are made to show limited empathy; if they show too much, they are usually accused of being sissies or homosexuals. Same with Aspies.

I will totally agree with that for sure.

I don't know any other AS females IRL, so I can only compare myself to NT females. Here's what I've noticed:
I didn't play with dolls as a kid.
It takes me 5 minutes to get dressed to go out.
I hate shopping with a passion. Thank god for online websites.
I get along better with guys than girls. I can talk with them without feeling uncomfortable for the most part.
I don't ask silly questions like "Does my ass look big in these jeans?"
I'm more straightforward and direct.
I don't do gushy poems and love letters.
Derek says to mention that "You always think you're right"
I'm more resourceful than most women, have no qualms getting myself into sticky or dirty situtations
I'm fearless when the s**t hits the fan i.e. in emergencies
I smile WAY less
If I'm wearing provocative clothing it's not on purpose
I don't look at myself in the mirror in general
I've never gotten PMS but from what I've seen here I think that's just luck and not AS
It took me 40 years to learn how to tell the difference between a bad man and a good one.
I wear almost no jewelry or makeup and Derek has more clothes and shoes than I do

Does that help?

I like shopping.

The same with me on all except one......

I do know a good man when I see one.....I've just never met one where I live.

Wow....Aylissa, we are not secretly the same person, are we?

Bland- I agree with you, Melissa. Im the same way except for paying attention to how I look. Growing up in a family that prided itself on attractiveness and stylishness I felt I had to conform. I hate it! But Im bound to it, it seems. But not out of true desire, only out of habit.

Do you have more to add, Grayson? I'd be interested. Oh, I thought of one more. I've always felt somewhat more androgynous than most women.

In my experience that's pretty universal!

(couldn't resist...)

But yes the list was helpful, as is everyone else's responses. Good stuff.

My friend has been through similar problems. Her therapist said my friend didn't seem like AS, but didn't know much about it. When she did learn about it, and read some articles about how it can appear in females, she changed her mind on the subject and decided my friend definitely fit. There are a lot of damaging stereotypes out there. Another professional my AS friend saw said that she definitely looked like she was on the autistic spectrum except she had too much compassion! That's a terrible thing to say!:(