Do people with AS make bad friends?
My best friend is NT and says I am her best friend. She is probably my first real best friend becuase she dosen't tease me about my special intrests and is more respectful about my meerkat special intrest than my own parents. She also dosen't take advantage of me for her own amusment like my so called best friends in public school did. She knows I have AS/autism but never makes jokes about it and is even nicer to this boy in the neighborhood who has AS more severely.
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I'm not weird, you're just too normal.
Totally agree with you, one can never generalize a group. As can be good and/or innocent aspies there can be too evil and unscrupulous ones, who make bad things consciously (knowing that they are doing them). The same goes to "normal" people or also called NTs.
I only have a friend who I (although he has not been diagnosed) suspect he has AS. He's my best friend, a very wise, calm, reserved but nice person who share many interests and similarities with me but what always has respected my differences, and me theirs. We have been friends since childhood and rarely we have fought.
I had some NTs friendships, mostly in the school. I usually saw them as "peace treaties" or something like that because those persons where untolerant, single minded, very manipulative and egocentric ones with whom I had problems the past. Those "friendships" ended inexplicably in a day where they turned again against me and started to insult me without any just reason (I was always respectful with them). I realized that they tried to use me to get better grades with little effort and I didn`t allow it, they could be jealous too of my good academic performance. But I have known other NT's persons, althought they weren't my friends, they were kind and treated me in a polite way.
Well my first reaction when I saw your question was to answer a big "YES", because I can be too self-centered, immature, not care enough, etc ... but then I thought a little more about it and I think it would be "yes and no", yes because of the reasons I just mentioned and others, but also "no" because the very few real friends I've had (and I think I've had more then 2 of those - had 4 total - only because we moved and the other one lived too far) I was attached to them, and we actually had good times together, and eventho I don't understand everything I figure I must not have been such a horrible friend since we were friends for years, and they were usually the ones coming over to play with me, 3 of them until my parents (and me) moved, and the other who was living at my grandparents' village, when my grandmother sold the house and moved in with me and my parents. Then I saw the 2 last ones just a few more times for 2 reasons; I was living too far, and I am bad at keeping in touch, I never forgot them tho and honestly I kind of admire them for having been able to put up with me.
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That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been all along. ~Madeleine L'Engle
I know a lot of autistic people in real life. Some of them are annoying, some are boring, some I have nothing in common with, and some are people who I like spending time with and consider close friends (as close as it ever gets with my total lack of reciprocity, anyway). So, basically--it's hit or miss, like it is with any group of people. You can't predict whether you'll become friends with any given person just based on the fact that they're autistic.
I guess maybe we get so tired of trying to communicate with NTs that we have unrealistically rosy expectations of autistics. But we've got to remember that autistics have many of the same foibles that NTs do; that a friendship with another autistic has got to be worked at just like a friendship with an NT. Just because somebody's autistic doesn't mean you're magically going to have this amazing close soulmate connection with them. (And just because someone's not autistic doesn't mean you won't.) Yeah, it's easier to communicate; and yeah, you'll have things in common; but other than that, a friendship's a friendship with all the ups and downs that implies.
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Reports from a Resident Alien:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com
Autism Memorial:
http://autism-memorial.livejournal.com
I am a "bad friend" because I almost never initiate contact. (heck, I am a bad daughter and Mother for that same reason) That said, I am a great friend in that I will almost always find time for those who want to hang with me. I have many NT and ASD type friends who are kind enough to want to hang with me. They all know that we must be in fairly quiet places to meet and that sometimes I do need "down" time. Still they call me fairly regularly. Perhaps I am lucky. I don't know. I never feel lonely or the need for "friends" so figure I have enough now...
i do not make many friends whether they are good or bad.
i am always in my dock and i am ostensibly unavailable to people when i go home.
sometimes i wonder what life would be like if i had friends.
i think it would be a chore. i know how to please myself, and i always do what i like myself to do, so i am my favorite company.
when i am with only me, i never feel antagonism or displacement.
when i am with others, i can "smell" their "auras", and they are foreign to me, and i feel that i am "laboring" in order to accommodate them because everyone is different to me.
people who have different "wants" to me that must be met, tax my peaceful relaxation and cut a chunk out of my contentment and placidity.
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