Is politeness above all always?

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zen, you're right, I did look very much on a mission, hehe!

The Photography course is company-funded and fired employees are not allowed to finish the course. I got a special permission because I begged and my boss knows what a tragic year I've had, with my eye operations, my mother passing away less than 2 months before I got fired, and all the rest of the problems I had this year. When the vice-CEO saw me at the course, he could've told me to get out. Instead, he came up to me although I hadn't said hello to him, and perhaps tried to reassure me by joking that he didn't have a problem seeing me there. That's a huge vote of trust in a company where fired employees are escorted out the building by a security guard immediately. I now wish I'd said a correct hello, without smiling.

I don't think it's about being polite. My husband was in a similar position (laid off) a few months ago and I was appalled by the hypocrisy of the whole thing - just two weeks before getting the boot he also got and excellent evaluation and appraisal for his latest project.

Big companies seem to have a code about this sort of thing - you're the perfect employee and their only concern is that you're happy and fairly treated, but unfortunate circumstances that have nothing to do with any of us... something along those lines. God forbidden anyone might think there's something personal about it... Nobody is the bad guy and we can all stay friends. Plus, it's usually a small world and people move around a bit, so you never know who you'll bump into in an year or two... These rules seem to be quite clear for most NT - I've seen people being badly back stabbed at work and continuing to have the most friendly attitudes towards those that almost ruined their carrier. Some are probably just cowards while others are biding their time and wait for their turn. (And btw, I don't know the laws in your country but in most places they have to prove you're incompetent or f*cked up big time in order to fire you. Maybe you shouldn't let them get away without an official reason).

For hubby the whole mess turned into a blessing in disguise - I really hope things will take a better turn for you too.

Yes, that's exactly what it's like here too, Sallamandrina.

And yes, it IS personal. Management openly admits that they're choosing who to keep and who to dump. I was the only one laid off in my team, and I was told by the boss not to even mention my amazing dedication, motivation, enthusiasm and productivity above and beyond the rest of the team because all that is not important. It was a real slap on the face, when they kept the most inept of employees in our team and fired me, when there's no point of comparison between us.

I'm not sure "unite" and "pursue your [individual] passions" are entirely compatible But I get your point.

The lesson you emphasize is a very old one, going back thousands of years - and lost on many today.


We must be willing to get rid of
the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed
before the new one can come.
-- Joseph Campbell.


I think the person who takes a job in order to live - that is to say, for the money - has turned himself into a slave.
-- Joseph Campbell.

Greentea -- Having read through the thread, I believe you handled the situation very well. I might have been tempted to respond with some sort of half-joking question like, "So, are you going to hire me back any time soon?" However, under the circumstances that you were being specially permitted to take a photography course, your reaction of simply blanking out looks like it was the wisest and most polite thing to do.

TobyZ -- Love the Joseph Campbell quotes. Thanks for posting them.

~~ the phoenix

Thank you for the reassurance, the_phoenix! I still think a short "hi, Paul" wouldn't have hurt. Not for political reasons but as a human being. Then again, I'm an Aspie and not strong at identifying these things on time without lots of analysis, so I guess I shouldn't be hard on myself... And you're right - I did blank out more than make a conscious decision to ignore his hello.

I had a laugh just then, tobyz, as i had reflected on that line when i wrote it and thought about changing it to "virtually unite." No face to face unification for me. None whatsoever. I did actually mean it in a symbolic and humorous sense.

And Joseph Campbell is brilliant. I enjoy seeing his name and quote in your signature line.

Toby, So, it's basically the "You're entitled to nothing" and to "take responsibility" BS that I keep hearing. I say this so called entitlement mentality and "take responsibility" is a bunch of BS, tells us nothing, and is a copout.

Toby, will you answer my questions on this.

. Does this mean a person is not owed the right to live and the person has to earn it?
2. Does this mean a person does not owed the right to liberty the person has to earn it?
3. Does this mean the person is not owed the right to pursue happiness and I have to earn it?
4. Does this mean that a person is not owed the right to leave the country of his residence at all the and the person has to earn it?.
5. Does this mean that a person is not owed the right to even leave his or her own house and the person has to earn it??
6. Does this mean that a person is not owed the fruit of his or her labors and has to earn what they've already earned?
7. Does this mean a person is not owed the means to be able to earn?
8. Does this mean a person is not owed the means to be able to take responsibility and the person has to earn the means and the detailed instructions to be able to take responsibility?
9. Does this mean a person is not owed nothing and the person has to earn nothing? This means based on number 9 I could reverse this, everything and anything has been bestowed upon me and I would have to work to earn and have it all removed from me to actually earn nothing since nothing is part of the set of Entitlements E that an individual I or population group P could earn.

If I have to earn everything then how does anyone have any inalienable rights at all? In fact, how does anyone have any inalienable or alienable rights as well at all? This means anyone can be euthanized at anytime by this logic because they are not owed their lives and they have to earn their lives. This means George Orwell was right. We have achieved the ability to use doublethink which means to take two contradictory concepts and believe both at the same time. This means I have to believe that I'm not owed A and I'm not owed ~A at exactly the same time. This means I have to earn A and I have to earn ~A. This means "We the people" have become synnomous with big brother.

I fail to see the logic in the fact of how it is possible that a person that is anywhere on the earth has to earn everything at all given times in their entire lives in which the basic unit of time right now is plank time which is 1026 in a second.

1. How is it possible for anyone to work if they're given no detailed instructions are given and owed on how to do a particular task and what they want accomplished out of a task if a person if actually owed nothing or entitled to nothing?

2. How is it possible to work at a place like kroger where there are multiple supervisors there who give contradictory instructions? How do you follow the contradictory instructions of A and ~A at the same time?

3. How is it possible to be responsible when one is not owed or entitled to :
a. the means for taking responsibility
b. detailed instructions on how to be responsible at all seconds of your life or what would be considered being responsible
c. to know what you're responsible for at what given time or place

4. How is it possible to obtain any job, work at all like God commands, and be responsible when:
a. questions in an interview are vague
b. each professional job requires years of experience
c. each professional job requires other things that may require years of experience.
d. one cannot make eye contact and does not understand the logic behind eye contact
e. one is expected to multitask which is inefficient anyway and I can prove this mathamatically.
f. one is expected to do fast thinking or thinking on your feet in which I do not know how to do and coming up with an answer on the spot.
g. a particular society could be like sodom and may bar you from working.
h. With step by step instructions, how exactly do I meet these corporation's criteria? How is anyone able to do it? How come America doesn't fall apart because of these critiera that are impossible to meet?

5. How is it possible to follow instructions when a particular instruction can have multiple meanings and multiple ways to follow them and it would be considered rude to ask for clarification and details.

6. How is it possible to know what you did wrong on an interview if I am not entitled to know what I did wrong?

7. How is it possible for me to hide my aspergers when it's blatant and right in people's faces?

8. How is it possible to know what anyone including the interviewer, you, or a boss is saying if they don't say what they mean and mean what they say and they come across as talking double talk.

9. How is it objectively determined by God who can and cannot work?
10. What is God's definition of the word "Good" and how does he apply this definition?
11. What is God's definition of the word "Evil" and how does he apply this definition?




Questions on blaming others vs. taking responsiblity
1. Is there ever a legitmate reason(s) to blame a person at all for any and all specific incidents that ever happen to you?

2. Is there ever a legitmate reason(s) to blame a specific population set at all for any and all specific incidents that ever happen to you?

3. Is there ever a legitmate reason(s) to blame your society(whereever you live) or the world at all for any and all specific incidents that ever happen to you?

4. If yes, to 1-3 then can you list what the legitmate reason(s) are?

I have nothing against you Toby. I'm just angry these phrases are thrown at us but they tell us nothing.

Millie, I'm at the point in which I want to tell most people to go f**k themselves, shove their patronizing, condescending phrases up their asses(e.g. "You're entitled to nothing", "Quit being selfish", "Quit Blaming others",) because they mean nothing, they're full of BS and these phrases are used for manipulative tactics anyway. I call it the indirect blame game. http://cubedemon.blogspot.com/2009/04/v ... alues.html I'm am sure Greentea has noticed this.

You're welcome, Greentea.

Well, you're better than me for being able to come up with "Hi, Paul" even after the fact. Had I tried to say hello to him, no matter how politely, my tone of voice might have ended up betraying too much emotion regarding what I really thought about him.

Sounds like you did the best that was possible under the circumstances ... and now you're teaching me.

Hope things will get better for you soon, and that you'll find yourself surrounded by people who value you for who you are.

~~ the phoenix