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Stoek
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23 Jan 2013, 1:47 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
no, it's not, actually (the bolded part). i am not going to go into details as i feel that few members want to be characterised as lower functioning, but your assumption is frankly off the mark.

you don't really know how the majority feel anyway :shrug:. nobody knows that.

@answeraspergers, you have some of the most negative posts on the site, so it surprises me that you are pushing this idea. you have repeatedly attacked members for disagreeing with you on other threads. it was you that called a member "ignorant" for not agreeing with you, for example.


I'm not saying anyone here is lower functioning, I would hardly say that even sensitivity is the right word.

I think sensitive to sympathy is probably the best word.

The urge to sympathize with other posters is too strong for many to be able to tolerate posting on general.

For the record being ignorant isn't an insult, in the correct usage.

I do not even say that, I say they are not aware of another person awareness, this could be for a number of reasons. But I can assure you the stronger ones sense of sympathy or empathy as an nt, this site is overwhelming.



kamiyu910
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23 Jan 2013, 1:47 pm

Stoek wrote:
i will try to respond to you, I simply cannot respond to every post you may make.

Again the negativity I've redefined as venting.

The people on the oppose side agree that is venting is useful, so I cannot believe they aren't aware of this action.

The real debate it would seem at this point is whether or not, venting, should be permitted on general discussions, especially in threads where it is not required.


That sounds like something that would be best brought up with the creator and designer of the site. I think if there was something amiss, that he was opposed to, it would get fixed.

I don't mind the venting, but it's the negative responses that make me feel unwelcome. I don't want positive responses, those feel fake, but insults are worse and will drive off more people than venting. I don't know very many people who like that kind of negativity. In a mommy group I'm part of, they all welcome venting because they know it helps the poster relieve some stress.
If I feel like I'm unable to release all this pent up anger, frustration, or depression, it builds up inside me. I've been suicidal, I still have those thoughts and feelings although I will never do it. I am not comfortable venting here (or in Haven) and I probably never will be.


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nessa238
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23 Jan 2013, 1:49 pm

Janissy wrote:
Stoek wrote:
The general page is too full of venting, not only on the threads that are openly shown to belong in the haven, but also when they crop up in threads where there was no invitation for such unloading.

If you need help identifying when your unloading I'd be more than happy to help you.


There have been several threads in General where people expressed relief at not being under any social pressure here to put on a positive front. That is a strong attraction for me too. A cheerful facade can be draining and it is a relief to find a place where that social expectation isn't in effect. There are rules for posting of course. You can't say literally anything. But remaining positive has never been one of the requirements for posting and for many people (me included, although I am NT, but I do share some of the problems people describe) the freedom from having to wear a cheerful facade is a big advantage here. Of course some people have never been able to construct that facade in the first place and have gotten lots of flak for that from others in real life interactions. They have expressed considerable relief for not being told to "cheer up" here and not being shunned for being a "downer". I am able to keep up the facade so I don't get shunned but still it's a relief to let it down here. It's ironic to have such a long thread devoted to telling people that they should put that facade right back up- or confine themselves to the Haven if they are unable to construct such a facade.


Very well said!



nessa238
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23 Jan 2013, 1:51 pm

Stoek wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
no, it's not, actually (the bolded part). i am not going to go into details as i feel that few members want to be characterised as lower functioning, but your assumption is frankly off the mark.

you don't really know how the majority feel anyway :shrug:. nobody knows that.

@answeraspergers, you have some of the most negative posts on the site, so it surprises me that you are pushing this idea. you have repeatedly attacked members for disagreeing with you on other threads. it was you that called a member "ignorant" for not agreeing with you, for example.


I'm not saying anyone here is lower functioning, I would hardly say that even sensitivity is the right word.

I think sensitive to sympathy is probably the best word.

The urge to sympathize with other posters is too strong for many to be able to tolerate posting on general.

For the record being ignorant isn't an insult, in the correct usage.

I do not even say that, I say they are not aware of another person awareness, this could be for a number of reasons. But I can assure you the stronger ones sense of sympathy or empathy as an nt, this site is overwhelming.


Are you implying that your response to this forum/discussion board is more NT-like than other peoples'?

I was holding back from raising the NT word so I'm pleased you've done it for me!

This explains everything!

You are aligning yourself more at the NT end of the spectrum or even as an NT and you are effectively telling the rest of us
'Stop being so autistic'

I've heard it all now!



Last edited by nessa238 on 23 Jan 2013, 1:55 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Stoek
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23 Jan 2013, 1:51 pm

kamiyu910 wrote:
Stoek wrote:
i will try to respond to you, I simply cannot respond to every post you may make.

Again the negativity I've redefined as venting.

The people on the oppose side agree that is venting is useful, so I cannot believe they aren't aware of this action.

The real debate it would seem at this point is whether or not, venting, should be permitted on general discussions, especially in threads where it is not required.


That sounds like something that would be best brought up with the creator and designer of the site. I think if there was something amiss, that he was opposed to, it would get fixed.

I don't mind the venting, but it's the negative responses that make me feel unwelcome. I don't want positive responses, those feel fake, but insults are worse and will drive off more people than venting. I don't know very many people who like that kind of negativity. In a mommy group I'm part of, they all welcome venting because they know it helps the poster relieve some stress.
If I feel like I'm unable to release all this pent up anger, frustration, or depression, it builds up inside me. I've been suicidal, I still have those thoughts and feelings although I will never do it. I am not comfortable venting here (or in Haven) and I probably never will be.


If your not comfortable venting in the location designed for venting, you have another issue all together.

Again this goes back to why alex or mods cannot fix this. They have no desire to ban anyone nor do I. They cannot go against people who openly resist venting in the proper location.



Surfman
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23 Jan 2013, 1:53 pm

WP is no different than most big forums nowadays
Especially because ASD's are such a big political hot potato

Many lies and misconceptions abound regarding ASD's,
Corruption and paid forum posting and lobbying and income seeking medical 'experts'
The truth is very rare here indeed
And that in itself will turn members away again and again
Those who stay dont mind the BS :oops:
Thats why I no longer begin threads
many replies are politically motivated rather than factual logic and truths

It could be seen as an assimilation vehicle into corrupt NT society, rather than offering pride to those who have been bullied for their autistic natures
Welcome to hell b*****s



Last edited by Surfman on 23 Jan 2013, 1:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Stoek
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23 Jan 2013, 1:55 pm

nessa238 wrote:

Are you implying that your response to this forum/discussion board is more NT-like than other peoples'?
Merely through simulation by sympathetic measure likely yes,, relative to the people who do not see the emotional baggage being dropped around here as overwhelming. This is not unique to me, I've found many posters through pm's and outside sources say the same, not to mention general experience with nts which superficially points to yes.



kamiyu910
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23 Jan 2013, 1:55 pm

Stoek wrote:
If your not comfortable venting in the location designed for venting, you have another issue all together.

Again this goes back to why alex or mods cannot fix this. They have no desire to ban anyone nor do I. They cannot go against people who openly resist venting in the proper location.


Yes, I'm well aware I have issues. I'm not comfortable venting *anywhere*, mainly because I know there are people who dislike it, and I'm not looking for sympathy. I either need answers or just need to get it out before I have another breakdown.

They don't need to be banned, that's really extreme! Just suggestions, such as "How about we move this to Haven?" I've seen them move other threads before without banning the author.


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YellowBanana
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23 Jan 2013, 1:55 pm

Talking of posting in the right/wrong place ... shouldn't this thread be in wrongplanet.net discussion??? It has absolutely nothing to do with autism so should not be in General Autism Discussion.


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nessa238
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23 Jan 2013, 1:56 pm

Stoek wrote:
nessa238 wrote:

Are you implying that your response to this forum/discussion board is more NT-like than other peoples'?
Merely through simulation by sympathetic measure likely yes,, relative to the people who do not see the emotional baggage being dropped around here as overwhelming. This is not unique to me, I've found many posters through pm's and outside sources say the same, not to mention general experience with nts which superficially points to yes.


Why on earth are you seeking to enforce NT-like behaviour onto autistic people??



nessa238
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23 Jan 2013, 1:56 pm

YellowBanana wrote:
Talking of posting in the right/wrong place ... shouldn't this thread be in wrongplanet.net discussion??? It has absolutely nothing to do with autism so should not be in General Autism Discussion.


Oh I think it's got plenty to do with autism!



Yuugiri
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23 Jan 2013, 1:57 pm

Stoek wrote:
Again this goes back to why alex or mods cannot fix this. They have no desire to ban anyone nor do I. They cannot go against people who openly resist venting in the proper location.

That brings me right back to this question:
Yuugiri wrote:
What solutions do you have to bring to the table?

Unless you either acknowledge that you are venting about people venting, do not have a solution, or finally provide us with a solution, there is no point to this thread.



Ramba_Ral
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23 Jan 2013, 1:57 pm

this is the complaining about the sheer amount of "negativity"



hyperlexian
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23 Jan 2013, 1:57 pm

answeraspergers wrote:
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you have some of the most negative posts on the site
- Nonsense as always

I dont know what idea you are claiming Im pushing either - Ive not shared my ideas with you.

You AGAIN fail to see the context - That was a reply and quote policy with the word ignorant - i believe you pitch at the right level. Pathetic example and context change as you like to do. Was i the first to use the term? Was it random? No. It was a response to them calling the counter view "ignorant".

no, i am pretty sure you are aware that when you attack members, that would logically contribute to the negativity on the site. i could bring at least 4 other examples of your behaviour into the thread, but that is getting silly. the point is, you keep talking about how negative the site is and trying to push for a solution to that. here is my best advice, and i think it applies to everyone who wants the website to shift:

Image


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Rascal77s
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23 Jan 2013, 2:01 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
answeraspergers wrote:
Quote:
you have some of the most negative posts on the site
- Nonsense as always

I dont know what idea you are claiming Im pushing either - Ive not shared my ideas with you.

You AGAIN fail to see the context - That was a reply and quote policy with the word ignorant - i believe you pitch at the right level. Pathetic example and context change as you like to do. Was i the first to use the term? Was it random? No. It was a response to them calling the counter view "ignorant".

no, i am pretty sure you are aware that when you attack members, that would logically contribute to the negativity on the site. i could bring at least 4 other examples of your behaviour into the thread, but that is getting silly. the point is, you keep talking about how negative the site is and trying to push for a solution to that. here is my best advice, and i think it applies to everyone who wants the website to shift:

Image


Why are some of the words red?



hyperlexian
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23 Jan 2013, 2:02 pm

because it says 2 things at once!! !! ! nifty, huh?


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