glider18's Wonderful World of Autism

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Whew... finally got the labtop I'm going to use for college. I installed my writing software on it. It has no internet at the time, but I don't really need it, and I'm glad I don't. I've finished the outline of my story today, so tomorrow I should start writing. Should start in the middle. If I start from the beginning I really can't get over the first paragraph. Just a method I use.

Just got to get motivated to write the story and revise it.

Hi Batz, good to hear from you. Sometimes it is nice to not have the internet hooked up to a computer when you want to write. For me, that means no sudden urge to Ebay, etc. Congratulations on the outline. I don't see anything wrong in starting at the middle. I mean, it isn't exactly the traditional way, but hey...we are autistic...we do things differently...and I see plenty of reasons to start in the middle. Even though I am an English major, I think starting somewhere other than the beginning is good at times. The only advice I can offer with starting in the middle is sometimes when we begin writing well into the story, we want to introduce things there not realizing that they will be introduced in the beginning. But I think you are well aware of that and won't make that mistake. For example, let's say we are writing Chapter 10, and Ben tells Sara that he has been prone to catching the flu since he was a baby. If the story is centered on Ben's health, he would make that point known to Sara at the beginning. (Gee...I don't think I'm explaining well on this---but I think you understand what I am saying.) Just don't place exposition in the middle---it will be dealt with in the beginning. But again, you are talented and probably realize this.

I haven't been too motivated on my story lately---and I want to be motivated. But that sounds like motivation. I just can't get into it at the moment. But after reading your posts on writing, I feel this urge to write. Now, since you say you have finished the outline and are ready to write, I think I am feeling the motivation coming on---at least I hope.

I think I have been having a lot of anxiety lately---and I don't know why. And I also have been a little "blah" the past few days. That may be a reason. Summer isn't my most productive time. When school starts back up I think I will be back into writing mode.

Well...Batz...keep me motivated---I need it.

Hey there Glider,

How exciting about the church gig! I wish you the best of luck. Just remember that you know what you can handle, and my guess is that you know yourself well enough to know that you can handle this. So don't be nervous and just relax!

And remember... the hardest part is starting out. Once you get the ball rolling, it gets so much easier!

Thank you Fiddlerpianist. I am quite anxious about this gig---but anxious is anxiety---and I will be nervous. But with supportive words like yours---it helps. I don't get nervous at my own church on the organ, but this is out of my normal routine. I will try to relax.

The hardest part is starting out you say---I can see that. May I ask your advice? I knew you would say "yes":lol:. How should I start? Here are some possiblities:

*begin with an uptempo number
*say a few introductory words
*or pass out and wait for the ambulance
*or "you fill in the blank"____________

See...I am making jokes about this because that is how I often deal with things that make me nervous. You are right, it is the beginning that is hard. I think that is what has been worrying me the most about this performance---getting started. I just can't figure out the best way to begin this time. The minister wants me to talk about autism in my life---and do I have plenty to say---challenges and gifts. But as my therapist has told me---revealing ourselves to others is very difficult for many of us---but I want my message heard.

By the way...I am sending you a PM with an important update.

Thank you for your support---it really has helped me.

I got my outline, and I'm ready to write. Why am I still nervous? Is it because I fear I won't make a piece acceptable by others standards. Is it because my inner critics keep saying what I do is wrong? Or is it because I'm a perfectionist?

Actually, it's all the above.

That being said, glider, you told me to find my own style, and I thank you for that.

Some quotes I made up about writing:

"The rules of writing, after you obtain them all from your quest, will lead you to the ultimate treasure: there are no rules in writing, only guidelines."

"It's better to write as a person considered a fool than to write as a person considered a intelligent."

"What every teacher told you about writing is false, what every book you read on writing is outdated, what every seminar you go to only applies to a foreign country. You, however is of now, and now is never applied in this world, so brace the now in you."

"Rules are like chess pieces: they must be sacrificed for you to checkmate the king."

"Rules are like Go pieces (Asian board game): one stone placed on the board by itself influences the board rather than a line of stones placed next to each other." (If you don't know Go, don't worry about this one.)

What I'm trying to say here is this: rules are guidelines for us to use, but the only rule to use in writing is "there are no rules." I'm not saying that all rules are meant to be broken, but I'm saying that to get that voice and make it easier for you to write the piece, trust your instincts. What one rule works for someone might not work for you and vice versa.

I jumble words together in dialogue and combine words together when there's no adjective for them. And as for using exclamations, I use them all the time, mostly because I write otomonopoeias. Sure it may sound annoying and childish, but at least I have my voice in there. I just gave a piece to my aunt today and she said it was weird. Other people say I have a Harry Potter-like imagination (though I don't take that as a compliment.) Whatever. A voice is what I need on the page. Writing a good story is too.

In fact, I rather write as an annoying person who has a voice than a boring persong with none. If you see the millions of writers today most have a mediocre beige voice. They learned the "King's English," which is basically talking formally. Problem is, you don't sound like that unless that's you in public. It's just ventriloquism.

Two rules--write as if you're the only person who'll read it; and there are no rules for writing, only guidelines.

When I think of the recitals I've given in my life, yes, the hardest part is definitely starting out. I almost always start with Bach because, well... those pieces are in many ways the absolute hardest pieces to start cold from. The first 10 seconds or so can be a bit terrifying, but pretty soon, I've found that I'm playing music and thinking about something else at the same time... such as what I am going to eat for dinner. I guess that's because it comes so naturally to me, so this may be a bit different.

Just have a general plan for what you want to talk about, and don't worry if you skip over stuff, misorder it, etc. Just make sure you cover the things you really want to say, and find the best way to say it when the time comes.

I had a phone interview with someone about 6 months ago in relation to one of my special interests. It was for a podcast. I was completely nervous and didn't know how to respond or say what I wanted to. I practiced for hours in front of my wife, trying to come up with good analogies for what I was trying to do. When the actual interview came around, I spent a few minutes from the "script" I had in my head, but then I basically tossed the script and simply found the best way to say what I wanted to say. I paused occasionally to collect my thoughts, but I just sort of let it out in the order it came out. I felt much better about doing it this way.

If you can, pretend like you're sitting somewhere comfortable... maybe your living room. And pretend that there are maybe one or two people sitting there, and that they all share your passion for music and for autism. And just talk naturally as if that were the situation. Don't worry about saying too much or being judged. Just let it flow. (I won't say, "Just be yourself," because that apparently annoys a lot of people here... ).

Best of luck!

Batz---I love your quotations. Those are brilliant. And I truly respect your desire for your voice. Yes, let's break some rules. We must be unique. We can't be like everyone else. With my writing, I believe it is all of the above too---like you stated---I feel that way when I have someone look at my work like poetry.

Fiddlerpianist---I am taking your advice very seriously. I look up to your experience in music and trust you here. It has been hinted at that I am somewhat stiff acting at my performances (have gotten that from a couple earlier church performances from the minister)---maybe I do need to toss the script and go perhaps at the most with an outline? I don't think I can toss everything, but perhaps not having the word for word script might be best. I will practice that techinque with pretending there are others around me. I have survived as a teacher because when I talk in the classroom it is about subject matter and not personal things. But this is different---and your advice sounds excellent. I have to admit something right now---the idea of not creating a script for Sunday has taken some of the worry off of me. I think I will go with an outline.

Well glider, I know you'll do well with your testimony. Just relax, and give it your best shot. I get nervous too, but sometimes not looking at any one person would get me to calm down.

Well as for writing, this is a theory of how I'm going to write for now on based on my observations with myself. It's a method I made up just for me. I heard a quote once by a writing teacher:

"Every first draft is a crappy draft."

In a theory I made up, if this quote is true, then I should make the crappiest first draft in history so I can feel good about myself, get something accomplished, and have something to work with. Think of it as a competition.

To me, I have to write my first draft with no perfectionism and inner critics. No perfectionism is easier to me because I can write it faster. If I try to strive for perfectionism in my first draft, I can't get past a segment of writing; it inhibits me. Once I go and stop writing for the day I lose that urge. Maybe it's because with even an outline I don't know where I'm going and my ineer critics telling me what to do.. If I write without perfectionism it might be like the worst piece in history, but I get something done.

Make every blunder on your first draft, write with a voice, sacrifice techniques to get it done, tell, summarize, anything to get your first draft done. In other words, there are no rules in writing, but rules definitely don't exist in first drafts, only yours. That means no one else, no inner critics, no book, no one. This includes voice. I just think of it as my second outline. I just be myself and let my inner critics go, like perfectionism. Still cringe, but it'll help.

After I make the first draft then I rewrite the whole piece with my voice. I do this because I know what's going on from the inside and out. I just have to be myself on this. Still make blunders, but use your voice. At least you'll get one gem in there. The outline gets the major points, the first draft the details you miss or overlooked. I just expand the draft.

Then I revise. Knowing now I have a voice I know where to go from here. It's then that I rearrange passages, make changes, and other things. I'm comfortable where I am now. Then revise, edit, and proofread until the story's satisfied with me.

This might make more work, but a quote: "the crappiest first draft in the world is better than a good one." At least you'll have something to work with if it's crappy. For that I think of the crappiest book I've read, then see if I can make it crappier than that. It'll get me there in the end. Of course, some people will disagree with this, but hey, this is my way. "Have it your way" like Burger King says.

Well, this is a theory, so I'll apply it today and see if it works. It hope it works, since it's my own method I made up last night when I couldn't write the first draft because of my perfectionisme. Just being myself.

A quote I made up:

"Good writers make excellent first drafts; better writers make average first drafts; geniuses make the crappiest first drafts in history."

Apparently genius and people who are different, including autistic people, don't conform to society.

Until next time!

Last edited by Batz on 15 Aug 2009, 8:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Everything is interesting, and I have the ability to become an expert in any subject I choose.

An excerpt of my first draft of chapter 3 of my short story. My theory worked, and it came out easier now. I just wrote like I want to write it, not by other's standards, which inner critics are--other people and books. Once I'd let go of my inner critics and perfectionism, it came out like this:

Clunk! Clunk! Clunk! Clunk! Adabelle lifted the hammer and Clunk! Clunk! Clunk!—the stake went down, down, down. Raising hammer. Clunk! Raising hammer. Clunk! Sweat dripped from her face, her arms tensed, her face rosy.
“Almost done Adabelle?” Gunner said as he nelt on the grass. Brown bags about the size of deer lay beside him. He gripped the bag and stuffed the pouch with straw laying on the carriage. And he stuffed and stuffed and stuff some more—and more. One more stuffing. Plop!—he placed the bag upright and wped his forehead. Pheew!
Clunk! “Almost got it now.” Clunk! “’kay, done!” And she stood up and ran and bumb, bump, bump along the stakes. Bump-bum-bump-bump-bump! Bum-bump-bump! “Woah!” and thud!—a Belly Adabelly laid on the grass. “Ow!” she said as her knees pulsed. “Ooooooow…”


Preety crappy, but I like it. With thisand a little revisng it can be a great story.

Hello Dadsgotas and thank you for posting. I am glad you see the positives in autism too. I added you to the list of those of us who see wonderful things in our autism.

Hi Batz---your writing is not crappy at all. When I read through it I asked myself if it looked/sounded like something that could be found in a literature book or published anthology---and I thought, "yes, it does." Why? Well, your writing, though definitely unique, has something that is highly desired in well-written literature---imagery/sensory details. Your word choices are ones that involve the senses. From reading your text, I can imagine those senses. I am happy you are writing your story in the way you want to and not trying to give in to critics. It is so important that we can write in a manner that is fun for us. Whenever we try to please the critics we often find our writing has lost this fun feeling for us. Keep up the great work.

Glider18
Garyww
SpongeBobRocksMao
Millie
Pensieve
DeLoreanDude
GeomAsp
BobTheMartian
Inventor
Sunshower
Outlier
Poopylungstuffing
Morgana
Fiddlerpianist
WaterWater
AnAutisticMind
Starr
Scorpileo
ProfessorX
Danielismyname (your poetry is a gift whether you think so or not)
CanyonWind
Sora (I think you have described autistic gifts in your life whether you realize it or not)
Itsallrosie
Gaya
Dustintorch
Ghfreak13579
TheDoctor82
Lionesss
ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo (in finding something positive about social aloofness)
Dianitapilla
Lita101 (I added your name because you stated that you want to find the good things in autism---that is positive)
Batz
Joshandspot
Prim8
SteveeVader
Tory_canuck
Alba
Odin
SplinterStar
Willmark (made comments about figuring out life---perhaps trying to look for the positives?)
Southwestforests (noted an interest in HO scale trains that is satisfying)
Seanmw
DarrylZero
LinnaeusCat
CockneyRebel
Dadsgotas

Crappy isn't the correct word now that you said that. Well, they say it's crappy, but a better word would be different. Yeah... "the different unique first draft" would be a better word.

Actually, I went to my writing forum and saw one writer typed this:



I'm writing an answer right now, but I don't know what it is. Sounds like what we've been discussing on here, glider. I read the other comments, but they just talk about the action. Hmm... I should tell her to just be herself. It's the only way to get something down without saying it's bad. I think it's her inner critics that are causing her to throw each piece away. Of course, this is just my opinion, and what works for me might not work for her.

Hmm...throwing away drafts and starting over---as you mentioned Batz with the girl's writing. I had started my novel a couple times of so before and discarded it. Finally, I had to say, start it---and stick with it. With as much as I have written so far, I would hate to discard it now---although had I just now been starting it I would have done some things differently. I agree with your thoughts on this. If you would like, I might send you the opening little section of my novel if you want me to...since you have shared some of yours.

I would appreciate it if you would post your opening, glider. Just PM it to me so no one can steal your ideas.

Phew! Completed the first draft of my today. Many times I lost motivation with it and slipped away from my voice, but I just needed to get something down, and besides, I can fix that. 34 pages handwritten. I have to handwrite them since when I'm on the computer I tend to backspace (always had a habit of doing that.

As for the revision.... Aaaaaaaaaaargh! I know it'll need a lot of polishing of every element of the craft.. They're a lot of passages where I tell instead of show, especially during my climax, the descriptions are vague, and the pacing were off. But most of all my characters don't seem real and relatable enough. I especially don't like my protagonist and the climax. My protagonist is too superhero-like (he defeats the bad guy easily) and uninteresting, and the climax is tame compared to how I envisioned it.

But I'm happy with that. Why? Because now I know in order to craft a great story from this draft, I have to really work hard on revising it, maybe three, but most likely many times from how many mistakes it has.

Maybe I can be inspired by some advice from my revision book. I know I have to expand it. Typed double-spaced it'll probably be, oh, let's say 13-17 pages.

And now I see that with many possiblilities on how to plan your story, there are many more ways to revise it and tell it's true story.

Speaking of that, I might change the story to the antagonist and his minion's point-of-views. He seems to be more interesting than my protagonist. I mean, they're unreal too, it's just that they have a weakness where the protagonist has none. And I don't think by the way I wrote my outline I can give a weakness to my protagonist. Too many point-of-view characters (I have about what, four?) Way too many! I just need to get into the antagonist and his minion's persona. That seems more interesting than just the protagonist. Also get a theme too. The first draft just doesn't have a theme except good versus evil. I might have to make a new theme if I plan to use my antagonist. Might also have to make a new storyline if that happens.

Well, I said I wanted to banish the inner critics, and I did. Now comes the hard part. at least, this will be after the week off so I can get a fresh look at my story.

Until next time!

That's a very imformative post Batz on your draft. Several things went through my mind as I read your post.

*telling instead of showing---This is a big thing I have learned. As you know, it is important to show and not tell. I have to be on the lookout for this too. But it can be easily fixed in revision since it doesn't affect the structure of the storyline.

*characters don't seem real---hmmm, I sometimes feel like my characters don't seem real enough too. I do believe this is more of a challenge for those of us on the autistic spectrum---and I don't think I need to tell you why. It has been said that it is a mistake for writers to create characters like themself, but for those of us with autism, I think we can bend the rules. For example, my main character has AS and shares several of my personality traits. I struggle with creating relationships between my characters. Perhaps the technique of imagining our stories as a movie might help---how do we imagine our characters interacting on the big screen? And you have good techniques for this too.

*antagonist being more of the focus/and no weakness in the protagonist---Well, that could work. Your antagonist would then become the protagonist, and the protagonist would be the antagonist. Antagonist doesn't have to mean the bad guy since it just means the one against the protagonist. I think that might be a good idea for you. You definitely might want him as the main character if he is the most interesting.

*lack of theme?---nothing wrong with good vs. evil. But I can see where you might want new themes to keep things interesting for you---perhaps subplots at work here?

Well---keep up the good work---you definitely have a drive to write this story. Do not get discouraged. So many things that you are not happy with can be fixed in revisions. I love your style of writing, and I think it represents itself as a talented and unique refreshing style that many will appreciate.