Why Do People Hate Self-Diagnosers?

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Also when the self dx'd want to start doing activism as a person on the spectrum. Thats not a good idea. They can do it as a person who suspects themself to be on the spectrum, but I don't like it when they sell themselves as having it when they are only guessing and never even talked to somebody about it. That would be like me going around and trying to speak for autistics who are very low functioning and say that I'm speaking for them from the same place they are coming from. Not at all. I'm not and can't. It's not truthful presentation at all. I'm nitpicking but thats what I do.

Great post, OliveOilMom!

Because many of the posters here have been consistently told they are faking their problems or are attention seekers arguments against self diagnosis in general may be received as yet another person invalidating them. Similar situation with Autism/Aspergers is overdiagosed threads. This is probably particular true if a poster specifically cites attention seeking in their post which from my observation occurs more often in Asperger's threads the self diagnosis ones.

Great post, OliveOilMom!

I don't get what it has to do with EzraS' post, though. It is a reply to it, and I've thread it through and can't see the relevance. It would make sense as a separate post though.

It's funny, I could take an attitude with even professionally diagnosed aspies who ask questions like "should I let my friends know?" or even "Should I let my family know?". Sometimes I think "that must be nice". I sure don't have to tell anyone I have autism, they can see it a mile away. But anyone that relates to and deals with asd related difficulties should be at home here I think.

...Also, older aspies who were dx'd late in life and who pass don't usually come across as autistic. To the untrained eye we may be shy, or weird, or have anxiety or have some other kind of obvious mental thing going on that causes us to be certain ways at certain times, but autistic isn't what comes to mind to most people. If you have done like a lot of us have done and forced yourself to be like everybody else until it was second nature, you still have your autistic stuff going on, you just don't follow your urges or your instinct or whatever you want to call it. You put up with things or make excuses, you force yourself to talk to people smoothly and when you do get tongue tied or do spazz out and be obviously somehow not normal you make excuses and start over. Too much caffiene, nervousness, bad day, etc. You apologize, admit that you went off the rails for a second and try and pick up like you were before. So it's overlooked. You make excuses for your sensory issues. Allergies, eye trouble, headache, etc. You talk about how clumsy you are and make jokes about the way you can't do cartwheels or whatever it is you can't do like walk across a dry well lit floor stone cold sober in a flat room with no furniture without tripping over nothing (me). You don't talk about certain things with people like why you dont like this or have that "phobia" or whatever. You play off saying the wrong things with "I'm up front with people and I expect them to be with me. I may sound like I have no filter or limits to what I say but I think dancing around things is silly" while you are really wishing you hadn't said what you said. You learn to grow a very thick skin so insults or people disliking you will roll off and you miss the very things you should be upset about or you go the other direction and be a perpetually pissed off old fart that nobody can please and it just becomes part of your personality. Nobody else knows whats up with you. But the therapist gets it out of you. They ask why. They ask what would happen if. They ask do you ever, have you ever, do you want to. It's comfortable there, they don't judge and you think your answers, which you never give anybody, might help you with what you came to see them about and then after a while they say "Have you ever heard of Asperger Syndrome?" and then you go off for testing and there it is. You have it. Oh.

I haven't seen the attention seeking posts that you refer to. Are there any in this thread?

My point was that a poster may not be accusing the self diagnosers of attention seeking but the reader may read it that way or think it was implied.

Especially in 2014 there were numerous posts in the is Aspergers overdiagnosed or should the term "Aspergers" go away threads where it was directly stated that most or all those that use the term "Aspie" are doing it to be trendy, to make excuses for bad behavior, or to disassociate themselves from more severe autistics or all three. While this type of statement has come up in self diagnosis threads, it is pretty rare and in general pretty rare for that type of statement to be written at all in the last few months.

ASPartOfMe - But what about that makes it "attention seeking"? I always thought someone was "attention seeking" if they wore flashy clothes. Or drove a flashy car. Or something similar. Probably, I don't understand what the term means.

By the way, I try to avoid calling myself autistic, and instead use the phrase "diagnosed with Asperger's". Probably because I don't want to insult those whose challenges are more severe than my petty little challenges (which I have learned since I was young can be resolved via avoidance and/or seclusion).

A person seeking attention can do so without wearing or displaying psychical objects. It may involve constantly complaining in an effort to get people to feel sorry for them. In the context of Aspergers or self diagnosis the accusation is that a lot of people display/overdramitize Autistic traits or fake being an "Aspie" in a deliberate effort to gain attention for the purpose of being seen by others as trendy or to get others to feel sorry for them or to excuse bad behavior.

It's just when people start spouting off like a self dx is the same as a pro that bothers me. Also when the self dx'd want to start doing activism as a person on the spectrum. Thats not a good idea. They can do it as a person who suspects themself to be on the spectrum, but I don't like it when they sell themselves as having it when they are only guessing and never even talked to somebody about it. That would be like me going around and trying to speak for autistics who are very low functioning and say that I'm speaking for them from the same place they are coming from. Not at all. I'm not and can't. It's not truthful presentation at all. I'm nitpicking but thats what I do.

Thanks for the explanation.

Personally, I have yet to notice anyone seeking attention on WP.