You Might be an Aspie if...

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a couple of them fit me

..you knew at the beginningof our freshman year that you weren't going to the senior prom.

...by the time the prom came, they couldn't have paid you a million dollars to go to the prom

....if the word "logic" goes right to your heart but the word "love" usually bounces off of it.

...if it takes you 3 times as long to decide if it's safe drive through an intersection as it does a normal person.

...if people behind you at intersections thoroughly hate you.

...if people told you you drive like a granny when you were 23 years old







....you insist on your view on fairness even when anyone else thinks you have gone mad


...if your brain decides to take a leave when ever you are asked to do an unpleasant task.



...you consider the pleasantries of others just a waste of time.



...You gave up on ever convincing people that you are not odd ages ago. You now just live your life and to hell with anyone who thinks it strange.



...if you consider your driving an insurance risk






...if you've ever frequented a fast food resturant and the people there ask you if "you want the usual?". Whole Foods. inari sushi. but no fast food restaurants.

You look at a picture of a cat in a magazine and you know what breed it is

You have a screen name reflecting your interest in a tennis player very few people know about (but should, since he's a nice person)

You study about countries in detail that you have no ethnic ties with (although Russia may be partly logical because there are a lot of German people in Russia and Spain is logical because of my Mediterranean background. I'm part Italian).

You know the capital of every country in the world. (Although this is logical because I took a geography class in high school, which was one of the best and most fun classes I ever took.)

You prefer the company of animals to that of (some) people, although being with like-minded people who love and care for their pets is wonderful.

You look at a picture of a cat in a magazine and you know what breed it is

You have a screen name reflecting your interest in a tennis player very few people know about (but should, since he's a nice person)

You study about countries in detail that you have no ethnic ties with (although Russia may be partly logical because there are a lot of German people in Russia and Spain is logical because of my Mediterranean background. I'm part Italian).

You know the capital of every country in the world. (Although this is logical because I took a geography class in high school, which was one of the best and most fun classes I ever took.)

You prefer the company of animals to that of (some) people, although being with like-minded people who love and care for their pets is wonderful.
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i know nothing about cats. i do not own cats. i have no emotions about cats.

my screen name does not reflect anyone else. and i do not care about professional sports. it's just entertainment.

and i do not study any countries. not the country i live in. not the country i was born in. not any other country.

nor do i know the capital of all the countries. only know a couple of them.

and i do not like precious lil "people". people are animals. totally afraid of dogs. last year a dog bit me. but i was afraid of dogs before that.

someone tells you to sit down, and you sit directly on the floor before realising that's probably not what they meant.

you were known at school for having extreme reactions to loud noises.

someone gets annoyed at you for wearing the same thing every day.

you have repeated a question so many times that you start off by saying, "I know I've asked you this before, and I know the answer, but ..."

someone gets annoyed at you for wearing the same thing every day
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yeah why do precious lil "people" correctly tell me that i wore the same thing the previous day?

they were so materialistic and superficial.

it's just clothes.

then they tell me that that shows that i did not shower.

what kind of logic is that?

besides why should they care?

they acted like they had a moral right to tell me off, b/c i hurt their eyeballs.

hurt

when a counselor asked "how are you doing?", i answered "depressed."

she looked so concerned .



then the precious lil "person" had the nerve to ask me if i was planning to hurt myself or anyone else.

see? i "hurt" precious lil "people's" eyeballs.

violate the Mandated Reporter Law.

but, i disclosed, in writing. on the form the counselor made me fill out. that a psychologist diagnosed me with clinical depression.

depression is a mental illness, not an emotion. that's sadness.

seriously. the counselor had not very much counseling experience. nor did she have much life experience.

there are only 5 primary emotions. happiness is just one of them. what made her think she could be happy all the time?

You could be an Aspie if you enjoy categorizing, collecting, ordering, and memorizing random bits of related or sometimes unrelated facts like colors, cars, and countries. (That C part was a mistake).

Or, in my case, getting mad at things that seem illogical, like phantom door hitting me in the face. Very mad...

Someone texts you "what's up?" and you text back a picture of the ceiling.

because some can't understand that not everyone has to change clothes all the time. *I* say, as long as it;s clean and not coated in mold or ebola, whom cares?

those former middle school classmates care. your mom cares. but are they justified at caring?



my mother always has this go-to line when she catches me wearing the same clothes..."people are going to look at you and say 'oh poor kid! h doesn't have parents to buy him clothes, on what shame!'"

no, mom. i don't encounter the same strangers every day, with enough frequency that they notice i have not changed clothes, and even if they did notice i doubt they'd care, you overestimate the observation skills and empathy of strangers.


she says it...all the time. it's almost frightening, i think she may be an automaton.

besides, what if strangers do say that, then what? they can't do anything about it. do what, call Child Protective Services?

i should tell my mom that....


calling CPS on a 20 year old!
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strangers do not know you are over 18.

and i am 34, but strangers regularly tell me that i go to high school or that i am a "teenager". and et cetera.

but then it's like it's the first and maybe last and only. time they interacted with me. so why waste all that energy responding, when it might be correct, that all responses are inherently wrong. b/c all responses are a waste of energy.

cost benefit analysis

passive aggressively tolerate

I have been told several times that I look like a high school student-and I'm 52!

I try to be careful when selecting my clothes for the day. I wouldn't want the embarrassment of wearing the same thing to work twice in one week.

I have been told several times that I look like a high school student-and I'm 52!

I try to be careful when selecting my clothes for the day. I wouldn't want the embarrassment of wearing the same thing to work twice in one week.
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it could be more convenient, if that is your goal, to pick out clothes at the beginning of the week. for the entire week. that way there's less confusion about what to wear.

but seriously though. some precious lil "people" are way too superficial and materialistic.

all those precious lil "people" care about is $$ and appearances. and they only care about precious lil "people" that look and act just like them.

Why do you keep calling humans 'precious lil "people"'?