NT/ Aspie THread

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Ok, everyone has different experiences, let's just say I long for silence and people disturb that silence.

Lol, the one kid my AS son couldn't deal with at his summer camp a few weeks ago was the autistic one. The boy would always walk up to the other kids and start talking about his special interest without any regard to what conversation they were already engaged in, and without regard to if any of the kids were interested in the topic. Drove my son NUTS.

But, as I pointed out to him, he does the same thing to other people all the time. just maybe not as often or intensely; he does have SOME social ability. He doesn't really see it that way, though. I told him to be nice to the boy and take it as a learning experience.

My son wants quiet when HE wants quiet, and he wants to talk when HE wants to talk and about what HE wants to talk about and would much prefer never to have to take into account the desires of others. But, ah, it doesn't work that way, does it? He gets that and, yet, he doesn't.

Then spend as much time as possible in places where people don't have much opportunity to disturb the silence.

Thanks for the advice.

Anyway, do you want to say that, on average, ASD people talk just as much as NT's ? Sorry but it's hard to believe.

Last edited by Rainbow-Squirrel on 23 Jul 2009, 2:23 pm, edited 2 times in total.

The rules are different when it comes to church. It is perfectly acceptable to always decline an invitation to church. It is taken as not being interested in the religion and not considered a personal affront. A few exceptions would be weddings, funerals, or other similar life events which are seen as personal issues and not religious ones. If you dislike the religion so much that you won't support the life event (personal) then the person takes it personally. You have to weigh your position on the religion versus your concern for the individual. The further removed the person is from you, the less they'll take it personally.

I am an extroverted NT and I definitely tire from socializing. I have to have downtime to recoup. I am extremely empathetic so the needs of others weigh heavily on me. I bear almost all of that burden at home so home isn't a place I can easily recoup, so going out is very exhausting. I have to have it planned well enough in advance that I can prepare for it and have to plan enough down time after that to regain some strength. That wasn't the case before I was married to my husband. I've always been a scheduler, but I've become quite incapable of dealing with unexpected socialization because of the additional burden it places on me due to my personality. I WANT to go out and socialize and might even agree to it, but I'm not physically or emotionally capable of doing so if I haven't planned for it. Other NTs have no idea and couldn't possibly imagine the reality (they are unaware of my husband's AS) so I assume they think that I'm a flake at times. My husband, though, can drop everything and go socialize on a whim. He doesn't have any emotional burden like I do so it is no big deal for him to be out constantly. I don't think we fit the AS-NT or Introvert-Extrovert stereotype. It is interesting how we've adapted to his AS like that based on our personalities.

I can be like that a lot. I often realize I'm doing that and correct myself.

My solution is to respect others' need for alone time the same way I would want others to do for me. If I want alone time I say I want alone time. Equally if someone else wants to be left alone I will respect that.

And listen to what we have to say.

I've noticed that NTs of both genders talk like valley girls, these days. I find it annoying. Another thing that's annoying is the way that Wiggers talk. They talk like little gangsters.

Some NTs are recharged by socializing. These are typically called extroverts. Other NTs are recharged by activities done in solitude. These NTs are often called introverts. Its hard to generalize about NTs this way because not all NTs are alike.

I know what you mean about the use of the r-word. There's an NT woman who goes to my clubhouse who says that word, a lot. I've asked her not to use it, and my reason for not liking that word. She got her back up and told me that the word is in the dictionary, so it can be used. I told the b***h that the word brings back painful memories from my school days. I had a deep conversation with one of the staff, about why I hate that word, and how many people confuse the r-word, with being autistic. There were a couple of tall teenage boys who were saying that word amongst themselves, every second word, at Seven Eleven just a couple of Sundays ago. Since when did summer become Jackass Season?

I feel sorry for you, in that you have come across so many unsociable 'NTs' as you call us.
I a like to think I am one one of the better ones. My mother works for a college devoted to facilitating the needs of Aspies, and one of my closest friends is one.

It is important to note, however, that no matter what you are, you will come across a certain clique that you find annoying, and group them together as being like an unpleasant spot. It just keeps coming back, right?
Even I find to hard to indivisualize people of certain groups, although I try very hard to.

I think you will find it pleasing to hear that there are many like me, if you look hard enough.

I give my Aspie friend space if he needs, and rarely ask him out to places, as he finds large groups of people unpleasant, and there are far to many 'chavs' (like gangster-wannabes, white trash kind-of-thing), to justify the park. I just nip to his house at an arranged time, play guitar hero like he likes to do, and leave when he thinks it neccesary.

Please try not to not to think of us all as revolting

Ummm. What are Wiggers?

It is a derogatory term that should not be used here, honestly. It refers generally to Caucasians who adopt and project aspects of contemporary urban Black culture.


M.

How astoundingly rude of her!

I would used a few words in the dictionary in my response to her, but I don't think she would have been happy with my choices!

This is not an NT trait. This is an uncivilized jerk trait. It wasn't even ignorance as she knew she was being hurtful and tried to justify it. What a bully.

I must really live an isolated life. I am unable to come up with a term that describes the inverse.

Black people who adopt and project aspects of contemporary urban white culture, particularly clothing, dress, and values, are derogatorily called "White" which has the underlying meaning of rejecting their race and family, being someone they aren't, and basically being a traitor. The more derogatory phrase is the name of a common cookie, the implication being they're "black on the outside but white in the middle" which is intended to be highly offensive.