jc6chan wrote:
Spokane_Girl wrote:
Yes and no. Mom worked with me like teaching me how to talk, change my way of thinking so I could see things better about situations, working with being flexible. I wanted everything in the same spot and mom worked with me on that. She only fixed things that would make my life easier for my adulthood. She had always had me be with normal kids like when I did t ball, she refused to have me be in the special league and when she found out what kind of special ed I was in, she got me out of there and put me in my new school in a regular classroom, when I was 3-5, I was in a special school for kids with developmental delays but I was in a class with high functioning kids. Lot of them looked normal. But she hated my obsessions and would take them away and she didn't like me playing with younger kids. I wanted friends my own age but they were all boring and didn't want me around and younger kids liked the same things I liked and I wanted friends so little kids was all I had.
When I was in high school, mom found out I went to the resource room during lunch and be on the computer looking up Benny & Joon and looking at photos from the movie and reading reviews about the movie. We had an IEP meeting and then it was time for lunch so I went and then I came back and mom was still there and she said "Is this what you do during lunch?" and my teachers said that is what I do and they don't want me in there but they don't know how to tell me without upsetting me. Then Mom told me I needed to be out socializing with kids or else they will think there is something wrong with me and I need to be in there to be watched. Then I was sent out in the hallway thanks to my mother and it was that way ever since. I would just play my video games or listen to music in front of my locker. I was invited by a group of girls to be with them but I found it boring. I had to restrain talking about Benny & Joon so I quit hanging out with them. They quit inviting me anyway.
Sometimes my mom will try and get on my back about my life but I don't tell her about my personal life anymore. Last time she didn't like the idea of me watching Benny & Joon two times a day and listening to the soundtrack over and over and writing about the movie. So she told me I needed to go out, take walks, do other things like go to places, be with my husband and acting like my obsession was a bad thing. Then she threw Aspergers in my face (er ears) by saying whatever happened to me not letting it control me and she said I was letting it take over. So I'm done with my personal life.
She once got on my back about not having any friends when I was in Montana visiting her. She said I needed to socialize more and I finally said why is it so important to have friends. She said I would need someone I could talk to or what if there were emergencies, they be there for me like to watch my kids or in case something else happens and I need a ride. Okay so no wonder friendships are over rated and why friends are so important. But I still feel they aren't important. TBH, I have no idea what to do with friends. I am better with acquaintances. As a child it was easier because we played.
But after my diagnoses, things were a little easier. My mom wasn't mad about my obsessions anymore and she quit taking them away, she also quit getting mad at me about my emotions and me playing with younger kids. It was as if she needed a label to understand me better. She also left me be in my teens. She never had a problem with me doing lot of computer or video games or watching TV. It was the same way for my brothers too but they always had their friends.
In high school I sometimes didn't know what to do for 74 mins of lunchbreak. In grade 12 during lunchbreak, I ended up joining a group of friends who would go to someone's house to play Halo. We would go everyday, I didn't really play much videogames before that and my skills improved a lot.
I wonder what effect this had on you. i knwo i grew up with a similar situation. What i found is that it forced me not to be alone, to sit with some one even if i didnt talk. Not knowing i had aspergers. i didnt want to be seen as a loner, This i think improved some aspects of my speech or better yet i learnt not to talk, i leant everything i said was not intresting to others, i had fewer special intrests and was kinda zombie like untill grade 3.
later, not knowing and the scare of being labeled a loner along with the need to be in a group for protection (high school) it forced me in to groups.
All in all i think it did me some help, i learnt that i can't small talk but was A OK in a professional environment. So much so that now when i go out to seek help like a psycologist or to inquire about a group meet I feel like there is alot of dought as to wheather I have aspergers,
by being forced in to groups and social situations and roomates and such. The aspergers only effect superficiality conversation and other converstaions I am fine at and no sign of aspergers shows up besides the general feeling that i am unconfident/quiet face/body language.
02 Jun 2011, 5:42 am
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