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Rose_in_Winter
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12 Dec 2009, 5:23 pm

My husband and I have decided to remain child-free for many reasons. I love children (hence the teaching career), but I'm not very maternal. Neither of us feels any sort of biological drive to reproduce, and we're certainly not going to have children becuase that's what society says married people do. If, however, we did wind up having a child, I would hope to high heaven he or she would be NT -- like my husband is.

I don't think we'd have trouble relating. I relate wonderfully to my NT parents. They understood early on that I was very different from them (and from my brother) and accepted that. Although I was not diagnosed until adulthood, they never made me feel bad because I wasn't like everyone else. They assured me that I was a treasure to them, they appreciated my different way of thinking and seeing things, and showed me how being "different" wasn't a bad thing. I'd do the same for an NT child.

I don't think I'm caving when I say I'd want an NT child, but I may be biased by the NTs I know. My younger brother, for example. I would hope my kids would be more like him -- super smart, funny, good-tempered, and all around likeable. He's been extremely successful in life. He has a job he loves, a loving wife we all adore, two sweet, smart little boys, a great house, and generally has lead a life that seemed enviably easy to me! Why on earth would I wish my struggles, which often led me to wish I'd never been born, on a child when they could have a life like my brother's? (Or be like my husband, who is smart, charistmatic, and highly successful. I will NEVER understand why he wanted to marry me!) I want the easiest life possible for my child, and being an NT is simply easier, as the world is designed for them. However, if I had an Aspie child, I would not mind a bit. I would love that child just as much, and do everything in my power to smooth his or her path. (For example, I live not far from a school that focuses on teaching high-functioning non-NT children ways to function in an NT world, so that by high school they have the skills they will need to overcome the challenges of being non-NT; I would send a child there in a heartbeat.)



12 Dec 2009, 5:37 pm

Quote:
I don't think we'd have trouble relating. I relate wonderfully to my NT parents. They understood early on that I was very different from them (and from my brother) and accepted that. Although I was not diagnosed until adulthood, they never made me feel bad because I wasn't like everyone else. They assured me that I was a treasure to them, they appreciated my different way of thinking and seeing things, and showed me how being "different" wasn't a bad thing. I'd do the same for an NT child.



Yeah same here. I also had parents who cared about me and accepted me. My mom found ways to help me without making me feel bad but she made her mistakes growing up.
Back when I lived in Montana, mom and I did girl things together like shopping and me rubbing lotion on her feet and pulling hair from her chin. She can't do that with my brothers
My dad, I have lot of him in me, personality wise



CleverKitten
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12 Dec 2009, 11:09 pm

At least what can be agreed upon here is that anyone who plans to have children will be as loving and caring and understanding as possible to their child, no matter what neurotype it will turn out to be.

That's all that matters. As long as you've got all the possibilities considered, there should be minimal problems.

It would be very selfish to build one's hopes/dreams/plans on a specific neurotype, and then resent the child when it all comes crashing down because the child does not live up to those expectations.

Of course, there's still nothing wrong with a little daydreaming. Nothing wrong with having a little hope.
Nothing wrong with wishing for a juicy apple, as long as you keep in mind that there is still a chance that you might recieve a delicious orange, or maybe even a fragrant peach, instead. :wink:


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TheDoctor82
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12 Dec 2009, 11:37 pm

dadsgotas wrote:
God, no. I wouldn't inflict this on anyone.


good lord how you remind me of most black children during the turn of the century with that mindset.

they'd be shown two dolls: a white one, and a black one, and they'd ask which they preferred. They all went for the white one, as the black one was considered "dirty and wrong".



12 Dec 2009, 11:41 pm

TheDoctor82 wrote:
dadsgotas wrote:
God, no. I wouldn't inflict this on anyone.


good lord how you remind me of most black children during the turn of the century with that mindset.

they'd be shown two dolls: a white one, and a black one, and they'd ask which they preferred. They all went for the white one, as the black one was considered "dirty and wrong".




:lmao:



TheDoctor82
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12 Dec 2009, 11:46 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:
TheDoctor82 wrote:
dadsgotas wrote:
God, no. I wouldn't inflict this on anyone.


good lord how you remind me of most black children during the turn of the century with that mindset.

they'd be shown two dolls: a white one, and a black one, and they'd ask which they preferred. They all went for the white one, as the black one was considered "dirty and wrong".




:lmao:


um..is that a complement, or is there a problem with my statement that I should further elaborate on?



12 Dec 2009, 11:56 pm

TheDoctor82 wrote:
Spokane_Girl wrote:
TheDoctor82 wrote:
dadsgotas wrote:
God, no. I wouldn't inflict this on anyone.


good lord how you remind me of most black children during the turn of the century with that mindset.

they'd be shown two dolls: a white one, and a black one, and they'd ask which they preferred. They all went for the white one, as the black one was considered "dirty and wrong".




:lmao:


um..is that a complement, or is there a problem with my statement that I should further elaborate on?




I thought it was funny they went for the white doll because they were made to be ashamed of their skin color due to society. They acted like being black was a horrible thing and it was just funny.



TheDoctor82
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12 Dec 2009, 11:59 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:
TheDoctor82 wrote:
Spokane_Girl wrote:
TheDoctor82 wrote:
dadsgotas wrote:
God, no. I wouldn't inflict this on anyone.


good lord how you remind me of most black children during the turn of the century with that mindset.

they'd be shown two dolls: a white one, and a black one, and they'd ask which they preferred. They all went for the white one, as the black one was considered "dirty and wrong".




:lmao:


um..is that a complement, or is there a problem with my statement that I should further elaborate on?




I thought it was funny they went for the white doll because they were made to be ashamed of their skin color due to society. They acted like being black was a horrible thing and it was just funny.



is it honestly any different from how a lot of people here are acting in regards to being Autistic, rather than "normal"?



Danielismyname
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13 Dec 2009, 12:08 am

veiledexpressions,

Yeah, and as you said, her life expectancy is less than someone with straight autism; it really depends on how one defines severity and the context. The straight autism symptoms aren't as severe with Rett's, but it has other things added that make it more severe in other ways. I recall reading a study that the autistic behaviour in people with Rett's tends to dampen quite a lot by the time of adulthood (with it starting off as less severe too), whereas the person with autism has it lifelong at a similar level of severity for most of their life (with some periods where it's better or worst).

The autistic behaviour would be why it's classed as a PDD/ASD.

I don't know what they're doing with it in the next DSM; perhaps they'll give it a single entity under developmental disorders of childhood, rather than the ASD cluster they're making.



13 Dec 2009, 12:10 am

TheDoctor82 wrote:
Spokane_Girl wrote:
TheDoctor82 wrote:
Spokane_Girl wrote:
TheDoctor82 wrote:
dadsgotas wrote:
God, no. I wouldn't inflict this on anyone.


good lord how you remind me of most black children during the turn of the century with that mindset.

they'd be shown two dolls: a white one, and a black one, and they'd ask which they preferred. They all went for the white one, as the black one was considered "dirty and wrong".




:lmao:


um..is that a complement, or is there a problem with my statement that I should further elaborate on?




I thought it was funny they went for the white doll because they were made to be ashamed of their skin color due to society. They acted like being black was a horrible thing and it was just funny.



is it honestly any different from how a lot of people here are acting in regards to being Autistic, rather than "normal"?



No.



TheDoctor82
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13 Dec 2009, 12:11 am

Exactly my point :)



Irisrises
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13 Dec 2009, 9:25 am

Fifteen years ago I thought I would have seven children - that's unlikely to happen, but if I'm lucky enough to have one or two it will not matter whether they are more like NT or more like ASD.

I think the oldest is more likely to be like me and the younger is more likely to be like her father.



dadsgotas
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13 Dec 2009, 4:11 pm

TheDoctor82 wrote:
dadsgotas wrote:
God, no. I wouldn't inflict this on anyone.


good lord how you remind me of most black children during the turn of the century with that mindset.

they'd be shown two dolls: a white one, and a black one, and they'd ask which they preferred. They all went for the white one, as the black one was considered "dirty and wrong".


Then you've misunderstood me, I think, and offensively, too. Good lord, how you remind me of... whatever.

I'm not talking about social acceptance, and I haven't had prejudice conditioned into me. I haven't grown up surrounded by anti-AS discrimination. In fact, I can't think how I remind you of turn-of-the-last-century black kids at all.

What I'm talking about is that my life has been less happy than it might have been, for reasons I now see are AS-related, and I'd rather my kids didn't have to undergo the same experience. I have in fact three boys, one of whom has AS. He struggles and we're doing everything we can to help him, but I wish he didn't have to struggle.

If you want to tell me I think my son is dirty and wrong, please keep it to yourself.



kingtut3
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13 Dec 2009, 4:50 pm

I want an Aspie Child. It will be a great way to make a difference.



Loli-kun
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13 Dec 2009, 11:36 pm

well I can't say that I want any children I have to have Asperger's. But I will say that if they do better they have an aspie parent who knows what its like then having NT parents without a clue.



Asp-Z
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14 Dec 2009, 2:47 am

I have no idea if I ever want children, but if I do end up having them then yes I'd want them to be aspie.

They should do prenatal testing to make sure the child isn't born NT :P