Facebook for Aspies

Post Reply New Topic

Thank you, Auntie. I used to be a lot more active here, contributing my mind and soul, before I was repaid for my kindness with heinous treatment, now I post a lot less.

I thought NTs adored the FB interface! I remember the young women at my work, they seemed so totally smitten with it!

Greentea, I know there are lots of people who like Facebook a lot, but even among them I think it's a problem. People describe it as an addiction or an obsession. There's a lot of discussion in the UK press about how young people in particular are posting information about themselves that wouldn't look good to, say, a future employer. For example, pictures of themselves on a drunken night out with friends (in the UK we have a massive problem with young people getting extremely drunk every weekend.)

But I think that between individuals the level of information is hazardous, for instance bullying can be more severe when the bully knows more. It's like millions of people invading their own privacy somehow. Some of the consequences aren't necessarily predictable, others are more so.

That's why you have to always be like on your wedding day - wear a personality that suits from your boss to your great-grandmother to your closest friend. I find that one of the hardest things for me to do, because it combines both biggest problems I have: social + multi-attention. I'm bound to say something that won't suit at least someone, and then I'd be in trouble.

That's why I warn people before adding them, because I post a lot of things that many "friends" and family may not agree with or they find offensive. Nothing vulgar, just different beliefs and perspectives. I don't like pretending to be someone I'm not just so everyone can be happy. That's very difficult to do, and it's depressing. I am me - people can accept that or frell off.

If my bosses looked me up on FB, then they know I'm Aspie. Not good. But I don't care anymore.

^ Same for me ...not that i have a boss.
I find it inconceivable - impossible, in fact - to conceal something like my Asperger's diagnosis. I just do not have the capacity for that kind of concealment. It's as if my whole life i have thought out loud with no editing. it's gotten me into a lot of trouble in the "real world."

But what is really wonderful is that I am who I am and that I live with a transparency that I do take pride in. It may seem strange to some NT's and even some ASD people. But in the end I live as who and what I am.

When i am depressed I can be quite down on myself for this apparent lack of ToM.
But when I really think about it, I do know that I feel glad to have reached 47 knowing what I am.

I would like a little more savviness here and there...but not so much as to make me a smarmy operator or shallow political creature who is able to trick, treat, and trade their way through life with scant regard for the kind of ethics and values I hold dear.
I jar against that kind of stuff wherever I go. But I am learning to accept and even like this about myself...finally.

Is it the chicken or the egg, though? Do you hold those values dear because you're like that, or are you like that because you hold them dear? I think that if I'd had the ability to play the game, I may very well have also seen it as the best way to live and I wouldn't have different values as I do.

i don;t know the answer to that, greentea.
BUt what I do know is my particular life experiences have contributed to my way of viewing the world.

is it in the genes or is it environmental? nature or nurture?
Probably a bit of both.

I also believe there are individuals around who are into "ethical" power and who approach their positions with decency and responsibility.
there is nothing wrong with success. But for me, there is something odious about attaining it in a manner that is overly disregarding and disrespecting of fellow man, fellow animals, fellow plants and the planet.
And the worst are those who profess to obtain power for the sake of others, when in fact they just do it for themselves. (the rhetoric is there, but the behaviours do not match.)

I don't mind Facebook so much. Its not as intimidating once you get used to how everything works. Its a good way to get in touch with people since most people I know don't have many ways to get in touch with me. Some of the groups and applications can be fun at times too. The problem for me is the chat, which can get awkward. I find most people start by just saying something like 'hello' and expecting to conversation to materialise from there. I find it easier to keep a conversation going when people just get straight to the point.

I use facebook here and there. It occationally pains me to see the lives that other people have and envy that. The only fun of it is you can secretly stalk people of interest without them knowing(facebook stalking).

actually you're wrong: in many cases, people can actually put a "tracker" on their page to see who keeps viewing it and whatnot.

I sorta think it defeats the purpose, but...

I love Facebook. I agree that all of the features and options are overwhelming, but I just ignore those. I just focus on the home page with the list of messages. I think this is a great tool for Aspies because it lets us stay connected with the people in our lives at our own speed. We can log in whenever we want to see what's going on with people, posting a comment if we have something to say. And if there is some significant event in our lives, we can post it to help other people feel connected to us. I admit I rarely post though. I don't feel the need to tell people what kind of breakfast cereal I chose this morning.

I don't use facebook, myspace or any of the other 'social' networking sites.

I occassionally stumble into one if I click on a link from a normal website and what I often see is just utter chaos.

Why bother with this crap when I can just send text messages to both my friends? (I'm joking.......I have three friends really)

I've made tons of friends on facebook. I've reconnected with nearly everyone I know. Its a really good way to keep in touch with people. However...

I've also made several enemies on facebook. Everyone I graduated college with I'm no longer "friends" with on facebook, on account of either me p'oing them off or them doing the same to me. Same can be said of upwards of 30 people on there. Maybe more. I have 95 friends on facebook right now. However, that's lower than the all-time high, of about 103. I tend to defriend people rather liberally. It's their fault, anyway. I look at facebook as one of the few places where if someone harasses me, I don't have to take it. Of course, after being bullied so much throughout my life, my standards for "harassment" can be fairly low, and as such a ton of these people didn't really deserve to get the boot. A few of them got refriended, some multiple times.

Heck, I've even booted off family. One time I booted off all my family. Once again, they were all refriended... at least the ones who wanted to (and I wanted to).

So... my problem with facebook is I have trouble telling if someone is being mean or just disagreeing with me. So I tend to just kick people off in either case, and its not at all good for my social life or my emotional stability.

1. The live feed is as it happens news. You choose that option if you want to see the most recent updates.
2. Yes, some people have tried to chat to you. There is also an offline option, which I always choose.
3. By going to your profile, or by clicking 'view more comments'
4. A status update is what appears on the top of your profile i.e mine says "lyra likes to sleep in her litter box." Writing on your wall just appears on your wall, though I only ever write on my wall for replying to a comment.

Really it is just an evolutionised version of Twitter. You write a status and people comment on it, and somehow a conversation begins. The wall is like just adding comments on a myspace page, except it's easier to follow what is said.
I only care about the applications and photo albums on Facebook.

one thing I never get is half the time I'll see posts like "dinner, then bed"

and I keep thinking "do I honestly care?"

It's one of the reasons I don't like Twitter. Well, aside from the hideous layout..