Can others tell you have Asperger's?

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I find it a bit curious that even though I'm still not sure I strictly speaking meet the diagnostic criteria for Asperger's, and my autistic traits cause me very little life difficulty, apparently it's pretty plain to people who are familiar with the autism spectrum that I'm on it. At least 3 or 4 people have independently guessed that I'm on it, and about the same number haven't said as much but have noted how much I'm like someone they know who has Aspergers.

People who've said they think I'm on the autism spectrum:
1. My friend B (who majored in psychology and has worked with severely autistic people as a care assistant).
2. My friend G (whose sister works in special education and has a son who is probably on the autism spectrum); he said he knew I was 'wired differently' from the first day he met me, but it took him a while to figure out what that different wiring probably was.
3. My roommate M (who has had a lot of contact with people in various places on the autism spectrum, including her good friend J and his daughter).
4. M's friend N (who also knows J and his daughter).
All of these seem to have come to their conclusions completely independently of each other, although N may have heard something from M.

People who've noted my similarity to others with Aspergers
1. J has noted that I'm a lot like him, and is constantly amused at our similarities
2. J's wife S has noted how much I'm like J
3. M's father has noted how much I'm like J
4. A and E are roommates with each other and both have Aspergers; A has commented on how I'm a lot like her and E.

Only B volunteered his thoughts to me; G and M told me about their thoughts after I told them about what B said, and the rest have only told their thoughts to M, who has told me. If B hadn't mentioned it, I'd probably think no one had ever suspected me of having Asperger's. I now think that there are probably others that have had the same suspicion, but wouldn't mention it to me, and haven't mentioned it to someone like M who would tell me.

I'm not sure. I'd have to ask them if they think that I have it in order to know, but then they would think 'Oh, she most likely does have it!' and say, 'Yes', so it'd be pointless because they could change their answer, even if they didn't think I had it in the first place...
But, to answer not so literally, I think that someone who knows a lot about AS might be able to think that I might have it because of my overall social awkwardness. No peers would ever guess, though, because a majority of them only know what AS is from what the media stereotypes it as, and I'm not as similar to the stereotypes of AS as some are. Probably because I'm female. Meh.

That is a good question. I do not think that people can know what is different about me. when I rattle off a series of facts like an encyclopedia, (mostly to avoid the anxiety and social awkwardness of silence) it can irritate some. People tend to think I am different or a little more knowledgable than most others about a variety of specific subjects. I doubt that the average person even has a clue about what aspergers syndrome really is.

Most people I know never heard of Aspergers before. . My former co-workers when I told them I think I have some form of autism they laughed and said your just really shy put on some sunglasses and no one will know your not making eye contact with them. Then I asked them what about my not liking to be touch or touch people and their repley was some people don't like to be touched. One of them reached forward and grabbed me by the wrist and said a person with autism would be screaming and hitting themselves. It does not matter I was freaking out ripping his hand off my wrist.

same story, more or less. my therapist said "i'm glad you brought it up first."

i doubt too many people would ask something like that outright. too bad because someone who has AS and doesn't know would probably be much better off knowing.



that was my reaction to my therapist's confession that she already suspected it. was it obvious? really? i had no idea.

otherwise - i have really not disclosed to anyone but immediate family who didn't exactly see it coming (maybe i was "normal" to them because they have a lot of traits themselves) but i do now wonder what conclusions peripheral people in my life might be drawing, as it's plain i have had relationship and employment problems that aren't easily explained. one co-worker who has known me for a few years told me recently "it's obvious something is wrong." if it is indeed obvious something is different (not wrong, IMO) about me, i'd rather know people think that and just explain. i don't think it's likely very many of the people i know are familiar with the autism spectrum, however. so if they think something is "off" they would probably not know what.

Many people just think i'm annoying or a know-it-all, or just wierd, and often all three. But I am a girl, and i think for a lot of women and girls, asperger's isn't as noticeable. If you really know me, and you know what asperger's is, there is no doubt i have it, but if you don't know about my obsessions, and you just assume i don't have many friends because i'm annoying or something, and you think that i'm mean rather than understanding that i don't say mean things on purpose, i just don't always know they're mean, then you probably wouldn't be able to tell. Sometimes i just wish i could scream to the world, "I have Asperger's! I'm not annoying on purpose, and i don't always know what is right to say or if it will hurt your feelings, and i'm not a know-it-all, i just remember facts extremely easily, so please just try to understand!"
But sadly, the world will never fully understand anyone on The Spectrum.

One of my art teachers was apparently able to tell the first time that he spoke to me, but he held off on telling me (thankfully) until I came to him and told him I was thinking of seeking an official diagnosis.

He's been teaching for a very long time; so, he compared me on our first meeting with other people with the same mannerisms that he had taught before. He actually gaped when I told him that I was never considered for a diagnosis before this year.

Other people had just labeled me eccentric, besides the training psychologist who knew me when I had first arrived in the community that I am now, and initially suspected that I had AS before I managed to cover up my symptoms with my unique humour for about five years. Me "coming out" to her about thinking that I might have AS was immediately greeted with, "I knew it!" in other words.

Someone I encountered in a sports bar said to me; "You're like that Rainman guy." I started a thread to see how common this sort of thing is. Most people would not say anything even if they thought so, but this guy was a little tipsy. This made me wonder how often people think so without saying so.

I actually present myself very well compared to most people on the spectrum, although as a kid I was hardly this way at all. I always walked on my tiptoes, would not look you in the eye or even near your face when talking (I'd just stare at whatever in the environment captivated my attention) and would quote sayings fromn TV shows or books that I liked. I've learned to hide my outward symptoms as a defense mechanism of sorts...in order to not call attention to myself (which I always hated!).

I still do these things now, and people tell me they don't see signs. I am not sure what they are seeing.

I have noticed that when I tell people I am autistic they always say I knew there was something wrong with you but I could not put my finger on it. I have had two psychologists say they knew from my first conversations with me that I had Aspergers.

I can spot AS because I know what I am looking for. Of course, that is people with prominent ASD. Much milder cases are not nearly as obvious since not all of the symptoms are always present or clearly present. I think it can be spotted by some people who know enough about it. For those who don`t know enough about it, they might notice some quirks or some things that they consider odd or abnormal, but don`t know that their is actually a label to those quirks.

I was just diagnosed last month. When I went to my school`s accessibility office to request a smaller exam room, she looked at my paper and said, not rudely, `` there is no way they just diagnosed you with this now! I`ve only been with you for 10 minutes, and I can already see it.`` So, clearly, it is visible to some people...

It's definitely visible if you know what to look for. Especially the blank facial expressions. That is extremely obvious.

Very true, although some people without autism also have blank facial expressions (ie. some of those with schizophrenia.)

I don't know if anyone has truly thought I had it. Once my friend was talking to someone that I had met one time before, and she mentioned that the person I had met before implied that he suspected I had it. However, I am not even sure if it is true. Other than that. (maybe)

I'm still not sure I have it. But none of the few friends I have told or my mom have ever said "No you don't! You are normal" when I told them. They seemed to think it was an okay explanation. (Except for my undiagnosed aspie friend who basically said "You're as normal as me!") And I have had one or two people tell me I am odd, space out easily and such. I think the person I worked with in a children's program at church suspected it. But most people think I am just shy and quiet. If you get to know me though and I am comfortable talking though you would notice my sentence patterns are off and sometimes I don't share things that most people would consider quite normal to tell other people. My speech is either really quiet or choppy like this: "So today I was talking tooooo.... (3 second pause as I search for her name) Alicia. And she said that...(pause) the (longer pause) science center is going to be moved over neeeaaarrrr....(pause) the fine arts (pause) building." So that is annoying. But I usually keep my stimming and other habits to myself as much as possible. I have stood in front of the mirror for hours practicing facial expressions, so if anything they may be a little exaggerated at times. It is hard to look people in the eyes too, but I manage it. I have also been told that I look extremely bored during a class, even though I may be very interested, because usually I am not looking at the professor.