Why are special intrests such a bad thing?

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KaolTamalak
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23 Mar 2010, 11:30 pm

tonmeister wrote:
The thing is that NTs certainly have obsessions and "special interests" as well, they're just different than the ones that Aspies have. I live in a town where (American) football is a religion to many people. They talk about it constantly, even in the off-season, and deck themselves out from head to toe in team regalia. Some people even have the team's logo tattooed on themselves. I know people who turn off all phones and computers in the house during games, so as not to miss anything. Personally, I don't think being obsessed with meerkats or 1960's mod culture is any wierder than that. I have a co-worker who talks non-stop, all day long, about her family and friends. She shares all sorts of details, some of which are really none of anyone's business, and will ramble on whether anyone is paying any attention or not. She also has an all-consuming hobby which none of us share, and she talks about that ad nauseam as well. This woman is most assuredly not ASD; in fact she's pretty much NT with a vengeance. (Looks you straight in the eye, gets in your personal space, and talks about you behind your back - you know the type.) So why is being obsessed with meerkats or '60s British rock or dead languages (one of my special interests) any wierder than being obsessed with reality TV, sports, or the love lives of celebrities? Why is it considered acceptable to ramble on about your family problems when no one is really paying attention, but to expend the same amount of verbiage on mathematics is considered odd? This is the real question, and one I've been pondering since I was a little kid obsessed with Star Trek, robots, and Gustav Mahler.


This is a very good point. I don't think there is anything wrong with special interests as long as there legal.



visagrunt
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24 Mar 2010, 1:39 pm

Just to be clear, there is nothing wrong with special interests. Period.

Now, that being said, a person with a very narrow set of focussed interests is going to find it more difficult to engage with another person, socially, unless their interests intersect. It is the problem that so many of us have with, "small talk."

My brother and I demonstrate two different aspects to this. He has an encyclopaedic knowledge on a fairly narrow set of interests. I, on the other hand, have a vast range of interests. I do not have his depth of knowledge in any of my areas, but the greater breadth makes it easier for me to function socially. Until, of course, the subject turns to one of those subjects outside of my range. (My range of interests is vast--but it's not universal!)


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24 Mar 2010, 1:48 pm

visagrunt wrote:
Just to be clear, there is nothing wrong with special interests. Period.

Now, that being said, a person with a very narrow set of focussed interests is going to find it more difficult to engage with another person, socially, unless their interests intersect. It is the problem that so many of us have with, "small talk."

My brother and I demonstrate two different aspects to this. He has an encyclopaedic knowledge on a fairly narrow set of interests. I, on the other hand, have a vast range of interests. I do not have his depth of knowledge in any of my areas, but the greater breadth makes it easier for me to function socially. Until, of course, the subject turns to one of those subjects outside of my range. (My range of interests is vast--but it's not universal!)



like I said...most know a little bit about a lot( and by a little bit, I mean enough to chat with everyone else, but not enough that one actually knows what the hell they're even talking about); we seem to mostly know a lot about a little bit...but we could be considered experts in our fields.



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24 Mar 2010, 2:05 pm

OddDuckNash99 wrote:
My mom has always been very supportive of my special interests, encouraging them whenever possible, buying me gifts related to them, etc. It's important for all Aspies to have somebody like this, whether it be a real-life person or an online friend. Our special interests are a part of us and central to our happiness and well-being, and we need to talk about them to somebody besides ourselves.
-OddDuckNash99-


Well said (and I haven't had the benefit of reading the rest of the posts in this thread yet, so forgive me if I misspeak).

I've had various obsessive interests throughout my life...a few have changed and a few have stayed the same. Just some examples:

1) When I was 13/14 years old, it was writing, freelance writing, and poetry. While it's not as strong of an obsessive interest as it was for me at that age (back in the day, I used to read every poetry book and Writer's Digest mag I could get my hands on), I still am very interested, namely because I am a poet, I enjoy poetry, and I keep wanting to further hone my craft. So this obsessive interest grew into something useful, namely after I discovered I had a talent for writing (which I totally credit the Divine for this gift).

2) Music...has been a broad category, although my preferred obsessed-over bands have changed. When I was in high school, it was Nirvana. Then after I met my first husband and discovered *early* R.E.M. (i.e. listened to Murmur, Reckoning, and Fables of the Reconstruction), it was R.E.M. (probably one of the few things I can thank my ex for). In fact, I tried my damnedest to dress like Michael Stipe for a long time...I admired his unique look. And my license plate at one point was "M STIPE". I had an old friend complain that all I ever talked about was R.E.M.

Now, it's The Doors. And it's been this way for almost two years. *That* started when my fiance and I watched the 1991 Oliver Stone movie and I started asking questions..."is this what they were really like?" "Did this really happen?" and so forth. I have to admit, I share one of Cockney Rebel's traits -- I do try to get my hair to look like Morrison's. The only difference is, I don't think he *ever* sported purple and magenta chunks/highlights *LOL*. I mean basic hairstyle.

I am interested in other bands/music groups, and tend to collect encyclopedic knowledge about them (i.e. Pearl Jam, U2, Ok Go, the Dave Matthews Band) and even groups/artists that fascinate me, but I don't regularly seek out their music (a great example is Lady GaGa). I guess I want to find out what's behind the art, what makes it tick.

3) Personality Typing Systems -- namely MBTI and the Enneagram. I find both of them , namely the Enneagram, endlessly fascinating. I partially chalk it up to my need to try to understand people and how to relate to them. So this interest *could* have been spurred by AS in and of itself. Just a guess.

But I guess as I've gotten older, I've learned to be more selective about who I talk about my special interests to. The nice thing: I can pretty much geek out with my fiance most anytime. He has encouraged my special interests, namely by participating in my conversations and buying me things (case in point -- a few Enneagram books and The Doors box set not too long ago). I'm just careful with everybody else. I *know* I can get pretty long-winded.


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24 Mar 2010, 7:30 pm

jojobean wrote:
Meercats....what are meercats..plz tell me?

However, I do think that you should go to school...study animal biology...get a degree and work as a meercat specialist...biologist, conservationist or behaviorist. But you should make your passion bring you a living and an adventure. Plus you can work with other people with the same passion.


This is a meerkat. Image


If I can get all the accomaditions I need for college, I'm going to be a meerkat specialist veternarian.



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24 Mar 2010, 9:01 pm

I don't think it is the special interests that are annoying, it is the amount that they are talked about. I am the parent of an AS son. His interests are car makes and models and churches. We have really let him talk about them as much as he wants, but want to teach him that there are other things in the world to get into. We let him indulge in his interests. For instance, he loves to draw churches over and over. When we are riding around town, he asks me what the name of every church is and I tell him. He remembers them all. I am hoping that maybe he will be an architect one day. Or he could also work on cars or sell cars. Who knows!

I am NT and I used to get obsessed with different rock bands. The Cure and the Doors were my biggest two. Now I am obsessed with reading about the lives of the stars.... I think what it boils down to is that I don't talk about it that much. I may bring it up and have a small conversation and then move on. I think this is the difference in an NT having a special interest.



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24 Mar 2010, 10:46 pm

angelbear wrote:
I don't think it is the special interests that are annoying, it is the amount that they are talked about. I am the parent of an AS son. His interests are car makes and models and churches. We have really let him talk about them as much as he wants, but want to teach him that there are other things in the world to get into. We let him indulge in his interests. For instance, he loves to draw churches over and over. When we are riding around town, he asks me what the name of every church is and I tell him. He remembers them all. I am hoping that maybe he will be an architect one day. Or he could also work on cars or sell cars. Who knows!

I am NT and I used to get obsessed with different rock bands. The Cure and the Doors were my biggest two. Now I am obsessed with reading about the lives of the stars.... I think what it boils down to is that I don't talk about it that much. I may bring it up and have a small conversation and then move on. I think this is the difference in an NT having a special interest.


one thing you said: "We have really let him talk about them as much as he wants, but want to teach him that there are other things in the world to get into."

Yeah, my family tried to do that too; I really hated that. My big special interest is now the driving force behind my career.

Obsessions for NTs and Autistic folks are very different beasts altogether; tell me: you loved the Cure and the Doors; did you know literally everything there was to ever know about them?

lemme give you an example: I'm a massive Ghostbusters fan; got back into the franchise when I was in high school.

Aside from the classic animated series, I prefer the sequel of the two movies. I can quote every single line--by heart--that the enemy in the movie says, I know the actor's name, his REAL name, and I've even done research on what he did preceeding and proceeding the movie; I've even found youtube clips of his interviews.

I know some very detailed information about some throwaway points mentioned in the movie, just by heart; I'm just that much of a devoted fan.

Are you that into the Cure and the Doors, or did you just buy their records, and love their songs?

Believe me--with Autistic folks, special interests delve into a whole 'nother ballgame of intensity.



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25 Mar 2010, 7:15 am

tonmeister wrote:
So why is being obsessed with meerkats or '60s British rock or dead languages (one of my special interests) any wierder than being obsessed with reality TV, sports, or the love lives of celebrities? Why is it considered acceptable to ramble on about your family problems when no one is really paying attention, but to expend the same amount of verbiage on mathematics is considered odd?

With stuff like sport, there are so many other people besotted with the subject that it's "socially acceptable." But many Aspie special interests are quite rare, so everybody else sees them as weird. Rather like Dawkins' notion that if there was only one Christian in the world, that person would be thought insane, but as there are millions of them, the exact same mindset is taken to be OK or normal.



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25 Mar 2010, 8:19 am

ToughDiamond wrote:
tonmeister wrote:
So why is being obsessed with meerkats or '60s British rock or dead languages (one of my special interests) any wierder than being obsessed with reality TV, sports, or the love lives of celebrities? Why is it considered acceptable to ramble on about your family problems when no one is really paying attention, but to expend the same amount of verbiage on mathematics is considered odd?

With stuff like sport, there are so many other people besotted with the subject that it's "socially acceptable." But many Aspie special interests are quite rare, so everybody else sees them as weird. Rather like Dawkins' notion that if there was only one Christian in the world, that person would be thought insane, but as there are millions of them, the exact same mindset is taken to be OK or normal.


ToughDiamond, I think you hit the nail on the head.

Interesting that someone else earlier mentioned The Doors. I *am* that into them, but I've found myself also doing something interesting this time around...I call it branching out...a kind of six-degrees-of-separation analysis and interest in other related stuff. Ian Astbury and the Cult? Because Ian Astbury was not only influenced by The Doors, but was briefly a vocalist with Ray Manzarek and Robby Krieger when they tried to ressurect the group a few years back (known as the 21st Century Doors...but Densmore wanted nothing to do with the whole thing). Pearl Jam/Eddie Vedder? Same reason. I could go on. But I won't. You get my point. And you could say that all of these related subject comprise a sort of mental map/subject cloud in my mind. The Doors at the center of this, and related subjects kind of branch out from the center.

Does anyone else find themselves doing that with their special interest?


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25 Mar 2010, 9:32 am

Doctor 82----I wouldn't say that I went as far as you have with your love of Ghostbusters. With the Doors, I read about 4 books about them, watched and bought the Oliver Stone movie (have watched it about 6 or 7 times.) I was just extremely fascinated with Jim Morrison and how he lived his life on the edge. With the Cure, I listened to them over and over again in my car that I had to stop because I thought it was starting to make me depressed!LOL! I did read a lot of articles about Robert Smith and am also very fascinated with his image.

So, in answer to your question, No---Maybe I wasn't completely consumed by it, but I did think it went a little further than just liking their music.



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25 Mar 2010, 10:52 pm

angelbear wrote:
Doctor 82----I wouldn't say that I went as far as you have with your love of Ghostbusters. With the Doors, I read about 4 books about them, watched and bought the Oliver Stone movie (have watched it about 6 or 7 times.) I was just extremely fascinated with Jim Morrison and how he lived his life on the edge. With the Cure, I listened to them over and over again in my car that I had to stop because I thought it was starting to make me depressed!LOL! I did read a lot of articles about Robert Smith and am also very fascinated with his image.

So, in answer to your question, No---Maybe I wasn't completely consumed by it, but I did think it went a little further than just liking their music.


but see, that just sounds like your average fan to me honestly; not someone who considers said subject a "special interest".

That, my dear, is the big difference between Autistic "obsessions" and NT "obsessions"; that's why the whole "expanding your horizon of interests" argument doesn't quite hold water the same way; because it's a totally different level of devotion.

I'm not saying we can't gain interest in other things...but it can't be via outside pressure; sorta has to be on our own.



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26 Mar 2010, 2:21 am

if it makes you happy.


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