Do self-diagnosers ruin it for the rest of us?

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Unfortunately yes, anybody with a 'self-diagnosis' is not to be taken seriously.

I only really have issue with the "I have the parts which I think are ok, but none of the negative aspects of autism" type diagnosis.

Having less severe traits is one thing, I can fake socialization pretty darn well after YEARS of intensely studying my woman, who is quite a social butterfly.

I still lock up when encountering something that I can't immediately process, I still ask her constantly if I am reading/interpreting things properly, and still get stressed out at the thought of forced social interaction.

Had to explain that my biggest issue with going to church with her ISN'T about the religion, it's that I feel bad if I don't try to reciprocate the honest friendliness that I get bombarded with there.

In situations where I can withdraw and shut everything out periodically, like when we were at the DMV the other week, I was able to engage in short bouts of conversational chitchat with the other people in line, and when the noise/press of the crowd got to be too much, I could simply shut down and analyze the structure of the cinderblock wall.

Having the entire line of people trying to greet me, be friendly, giving honest interest and genuine attentiveness?

I would be hard pressed to describe it afterwards as anything but a nightmarish parade of sensations, blurred conversations, hands thrusting out here and there, unable to focus on any one person, and generating an intense urge to retreat elsewhere.

I think it's possible that AS could become "fashionable" with some people, teenagers in particular. In part that's a consequence of AS becoming gradually better known (which in other ways is a good thing). But teenagers who are in fact just a bit shy or something will grow out of that when they become a little older. And any of them who see AS as a convenient excuse to get out of obligations at school or college for example (rather than just something to use to evade some social obligations amongst their friends) will quickly learn they need a diagnosis to do that. In the meantime though, maybe they'll make it a bit more "mainstream" to be autistic (though it's probably not going to be chic any time soon!) Perhaps that will make life easier for someone at their school who really does have the condition and struggles to find understanding and acceptance.

Speaking for myself I am actually a little uncomfortable at adopting the AS badge, even here, because I don't have a formal diagnosis (hence the "unsure" status in my profile). But the truth is that privately I do accept that there can't really be another explanation, certainly not after more than a year of research. I tick the criteria pretty well and looking back over the years before I'd ever heard of AS it's clear to me that I always have done, I just didn't know it. The only question to be answered I think, if I found I needed a diagnosis is whether the extent of the impairment to my daily life is deemed sufficiently significant by whichever professional is assessing it.

But AS doesn't offer me an excuse to be lazy or to explain away comfortably things I'm not very good at, because in real life I don't tell people anyway. My wife knows, and after a few months of thinking about it and finding out a bit more about autism has decided that I'm probably right. I did once tell someone I know at work who has a young son on the spectrum because she was really stressing about him, but after that conversation we haven't mentioned it.

What I HAVE got from finally learning about AS though is really great, regardless of whether I would be professionally diagnosed (and I don't rule out seeking a diagnosis in the future if I need help and have to have the necessary credentials to get it). First and best, I don't beat myself up constantly about not being able to get the hang of some things that seem straightforward to most people. In the past I've thought that I mustn't be trying hard enough at things, or must be a lot dummer than I thought, when other people seem to be able to master something and as hard as I try I cannot. So in some respects I actually do have more confidence than I did before.

On top of that I now appreciate better some things I do badly that make me hard for other people to get on with and that previously I didn't even know were a problem. Eye contact for instance. I understand these days how important it is to most people in being comfortable when they're talking to you - previously I didn't realise how little eye contact I make, or how much eye contact people generally expect if they're going to feel comfortable in a conversation. In fairness I still suck at eye contact, I know that, but at least I'm trying these days so I can't be as awkward for people to talk to as I used to be! It's the same with monologues - nowadays I know that I'm prone to do this and I consciously stop myself, or make a joke of it if I've already been going on for a while without realising it. Like I have in this post perhaps!

So if one of these self-diagnosed aspies, who are apparently ruining it for the officially diagnosed people, finally get an official diagnosis from a doctor then it's okay for them to use AS as an excuse for their bad behaviour just cause a doctor says they have it?

I'm a self-diagnosed Aspie and I disagree with the idea that we're ruining...whatever it is for the officially diagnosed. There are only a few people I've told about my possibility of having AS, but they already knew I was a weirdo so it didn't really change how they treated me. I've never been a rude person intentionally and if I feel i've offended someone then I apologize immediately even if i don't understand what I said wrong. I don't blame any mistakes i've made on AS or will use it as an excuse to act calliously towards other people.

I've used my self-diagnosis to discover parts of myself that I didn't know before. I can now make sense of why I get super anxious when in the middle of a large crowd or why I can't stand the sound of a phone ringing. I can take this info and fix my environment so that I can perform to the best of my potential. The only reason that I haven't had a diagnosis yet is because of high anxiety when I go to the doctors and I struggle when trying to talk about myself. I will be pursuing a diagnosis but until then I'm perfectly fine with a self-diagnosis.

If you're going to rant about people being an idiot and using AS as an excuse for bad behavior, please don't say it's ALL self-diagnosers. You just sound like someone saying someone is less of a person because of the colour of their skin

If we look closely at the fabric of society,we see that it's ultimately held together by relationships between individuals.To me that means in order for society to function at its best we should try and treat each person as an individual on their own merits,avoiding unnecessary generalisations between races,countries,NTs and ASDs,Officially-Diagnosed or Self-Diagnosed etc.

There may well be a misguided minority who have somehow latched on to an idea that AS can be used as an excuse for certain anti-social behaviour,but it's not logical to transpose either those motives,or a general reaction to them,onto everyone else.