Is Asperger's Syndrome a curse or a blessing?

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Good and bad, depending on the day.

Being labelled with 'Asperger's Syndrome' has been a curse in my opinion but having the actual traits that led to the diagnosis is neutral - they are normal human behaviour traits and some people use them to their advantage and others are less able to - it all depends on the person themselves; their personality and life experiences.

Having dispensed with the Aspergers label I feel a lot better.

I've beaten the DSM-V to it basically

A curse, to me is a disease of the brain, and I hope one day we find a cure.

It's just normal human behaviour that has been pathologised

Every symptom I have is a curse.

Anxiety - curse because I even get anxious about things most other people could take for granted, so I've got to worry and think about all the simple little mundane things AND all the things what anxious people would worry about AND all the ''normal'' things what most NTs worry about. So that's three times as much as the average person.

Obsessions - curse because you get attached to something and you live in fear that something might come along to destroy your ''relationship'' with your obsession, and the devastation it causes is unbearable! And you can't help what you get obsessed with either, so it's easier said than done to just say ''oh be obsessed with something what won't be destroyed'' or ''oh just be obsessed with something else''. I'm currently obsessed with a bus company, my bus service what I get nearly every day, and the bus-drivers that operate it, and I will be absolutely devastated if the service got cut, all the drivers got changed, or the whole bus company itself went bust. Yes I will get used to something else but at the time it is absolutely AWFUL to me to even think about something happening to this bus company (no, it's not FirstGroup). And with the financial climate I live in and having a stupid bastard running our country, you don't know what's going to go next.

Routine - curse because it is stopping me from moving on. I hate change, and I wouldn't change some things if I can help it. It just makes me anxious. But I don't consider this as unique to Aspies only because routine is important and it is what most people live by. But change tends to affect my emotions quite severely, which I could do without. And it's not so much that - it's changes other people (like close friends and relatives) do with their lives that affects me too is what also makes me anxious. You can't stop other people from wanting to make a change with their lives, but at the same time I find this hard to accept. Like if my aunt decided to have a baby, life would not be the same again, and people are like, ''oh it won't affect you'', and I'm like, ''but it will really, I'm really close to my aunt and things are going good, there hasn't been babies in our lives for several years now, it wouldn't feel right''.

Sensory issues - curse, because, well, you know why. It is horrible having to be on edge most of your life because of the fear of a loud sudden noise occuring or a noise what you know makes you feel uncomfortable, and having to rely on earplugs all the time, which causes my ears to go deaf for some reason when using them too much. Also it's not very nice having to live your life avoiding places where there are loud sudden noises. Like I wouldn't mind working at a school, like cleaning or washing up in the kitchens, but I seem to have a lifelong fear of the bell and so I can't work at a school. I don't really want to go around with earplugs in my ears all the time when I'm at work. I'll be getting teased or thought of as ''weird'', and I don't like encouraging it.

Outbursts/uncontrollable emotions - curse because it's not fair on other people around me. When I go into one, I scream and yell and get so angry with myself and I don't know what the hell the neighbours think. They probably think there's a right nutter living in my house, and now each time I go and talk to them I feel embarrassed, even though they still seem pleasent and nice as though it never happens, but with a voice and temper like mine, I bet they hear something. I often hear them when they're talking or moving about in their house (they're quite loud people, but if I can hear them then they must hear me when I have these tempers because I do shout very loudly!) Also it doesn't do much good to my blood pressure, but again it's easy to say now that I won't have any outbursts, but when the time comes when I'm really frustrated and angry and het up about something, it's harder to keep the emotions back, and sometimes being calm when I'm extremely angry feels unnatural, and I feel I need to express the anger properly.

Social issues - curse because this is the worst thing of all. If there was some sort of medication to make my social skills more ''normal'', I probably wouldn't mind so much. Having social issues causes problems all round, almost wherever I go and almost whatever I do. The only time when they don't cause problems is when I'm sitting about at home, but even then I can't do that all my life, I've got to get up and be part of normal society in order to live, and I do like to have friends anyway, which isn't a problem, but the social issues get in the way and it's now made me become distrustful of myself, and what's worse than being someone who can't even trust theirself?

See, it's all curse, curse, curse.

It depends on the person and their circumstances. For some people on the spectrum, having autism can be the best thing that ever happened to them, for others it can be such a terrible thing. It's like asking ''is life a curse or a blessing?'' some people might say ''yes, I love life'', and others might say ''no I wish I was never born'' and some people just take life for granted and not really think of it one way or another. Usually confident or rich people who are happy in themselves and have a lot of people liking them and desire pressure usually love life, while usually people who suffer depression or a lot of anxiety or are unlucky in life usually wish they weren't born - but again it depends on the person. Some depressed people who have had a lot of stress in their lives still might look on the positive side and intend to move on and try new things, whilst some rich, contented people might actually feel that life is too much sometimes and prefer they hadn't been born at all.

So it all depends on the person, there is no real logical answer. It's just people's opinions really. All people, NT or autistic or other, have their own opinions on these sorts of questions, there is no real answer. There is nothing wrong with encouragement, but when it starts going beyond encouragement and people start convincing eachother to look at it in a completely different way, just because some people look at it one way doesn't mean it's so and doesn't mean that everyone else should look at it that way too. Some people's AS causes them grief all round, whilst other's AS might be the cause of success in their life.
So, it all depends on the person and their circumstances. Some people were born into families with parents as aspies or have some other non-NT condition, whilst other aspies might of been born into families where they practically ''not allowed'' to be autistic, if you know what I mean. And that can affect how the child looks upon AS as, and how the child perceives it when grown up.

Today it feels like a curse. I get tired of not being able to relate to people. I get tired of not being accepted and being thought of as odd. Huh...suicide sometimes seems like a possibility.

I think of every person on earth as a character construction like in an RPG game. Where everybody gets 100 points to distribute among various traits.

Eg. spending some points towards dexterity, some on intelligence etc.

But in my experience (I know several AS people) AS is very expensive to "buy" as a trait. AS has some serious drawbacks sure, like while you're better looking than the next guy, he will still score more chicks. Because he is better able to communicate with chicks.

I can asses my own situation. I'm fairly good looking and when I was younger and more fit I was very attractive. I've even been called a tease by several girls I've tried to score (behind my back) on several occations. and rarely by my own choice. I just didn't know how to finish the deal

But sure I've failed at scoring more times than I care to remember. But having AS I've chosen to have incredibly high points towards other areas. Like observation and analysis. Areas surpassed by any people I've ever met ... even by other AS people, they have skills in other areas that far surpasses NTs and even me. My Fiancee is a very good example she doesn't hold my ability for observation and analysis. But she is an actress and she only have to look at a person for 5 seconds to absorb his/her mannerism. Something I can I do too, but in comparison to her, I freaking fucxxxx fail.

I've been a junior manager in several workplaces where everybody would have agreed with the boss on a horrible idea. Where all I had to do was open my mouth and explain the logic behind an insanely stupid idea, and the boss would decide it was a bad idea, despite the fact that 14 other people would tell him they loved it.

One example comes to mind. A boss had decided that the restaurant I worked in should be fully cleaned and open by the night shift (something that the morning shift would normally do), in order to save money. All the other members of the manager team thought it was a good idea. All I did was mentioned it was a stupid idea, because the people working night was getting payed more than those working mornings and it would take the same time. And the fact that several of the people working night/evenings went to school in the morning and would quit if the decision was pulled through.

After my very "on the nose" analysis the owner immediately decided against his own idea and things where kept as they where.

Throughout the time working for the guy. I thought he hated me, but at one point during a party he actually said that every team of leaders should have a person like me, because as oppose to everybody else on the team I wasn't afraid to speak my mind (he actually said speaking the truth). And in person he actually told me that despite me being a junior manager, when ever I open my mouth he would listen a lot more closely than when the restaurant manager spoke. Because he felt, that I would always tell him the truth based on logic, and not fearing for losing my job.

In truth I was probably more afraid of losing my job than anybody on the team. But with me ... giving a thorough no s**t assessment was more important to me than losing my job. IE. I'd feel even worse if I'd told him something I told was BS just to keep my job, rather than telling him the truth.

But analysis and observation is my strength. Personally I'd much rather work as a computer programmer than as a computer supporter. But I couldn't finish school because of my sleeping disorder. (Which I should probably add is a job where in DK, they will not employ without an education. Despite the fact that I'd probably be able to come up with much better solutions than 90% of those coming out of college)

But hey I'm a fast learner (again I really thank Aspergers for that, because I've never met an NT who can learn as I do)... So now I'm trying my luck as a script writer, because that doesn't require an education in DK. Though I might still need to employ a proof reader.

So in my mind whether it's a blessing or a curse is up to the person having it. I think the major issue is the society we live in. Because my experience is that I have superior skills to about 90% of the general population, but in my country education is a must (not to mention work experience) to get the job where I know I can make a difference.

My current situation is this ... I have a better IQ than 95% of the Danish population, but I'm working at minimum wage ... is it fair? NO, NOT AT ALL. But they way I figure ... I can either sit back and complain about it, or I can try to find something that society will let me do.

I just wish I could give off normal body language. When an embarrassing situation happens involving me feeling incredibly humiliated (this doesn't normally happen but it has happened), I always give off the wrong body language, which involves in me looking even more stupid and encouraging even more laughs and stares. If I knew how to be more confident, I will be less anxious and not look so stupid all the time.

Body language is f*****g annoying. I hate how people judge others just by looking at their body language. I worry about this because I can tell what sort of personality and traits someone has just by looking at them, and so if I can do that then I worry that other people can do the same to me. Even if a girl dresses confidently and in excessive fashion, I can still tell whether she's a polite, meek person or whether she's a cocky, mouthy person, or just in between. It's just vibes I can see and their personality shows right through them, and I'm constantly worrying all the time that my personality shows right through me and that I will be the figure of ridicule all of my life and will never, ever be able to get rid of my vibes because nobody can.

OK, admittedly, I can't always tell how people are just by 2 seconds of walking past them. I have to talk to them first, even just a few words, like with a person at a check-out in a shop or a bus-driver or something. So hopefully it goes the same for other people - not being able to see who I am just by 2 seconds of passing me but getting more of an idea of my personality traits when talking to me. But anyway, not sure about you but when I pass a person who looks unconfident I don't want to ridicule them anyway. The other day in the bus stop, a woman passed with her head right down, but I didn't think anything bad of her. I just saw her and looked away, hoping to see someone who looks more friendly so I can smile at them. Hopefully other people do the same, instead of wasting their time picking on people who look a little shy.

But if none of that is true, then AS is a CURSE. Then again, it is very subjective, because it is a gift to people who like being different and ridiculed, but is a curse to people who are naturally self-conscious and have the same degree of self-awareness as average NTs do.

I've no proof. But I would not be surprised that for every Aspie who has found success in a career and a happy home life, there have been and will continue to be at least 20,000 Aspies who live/have lived marginal, isolated lives of quiet desperation, inarticulate frustration, and unfulfilled promise.

And most of us, no matter the extent of our attempts to adapt and learn so as to function naturally like NTs, cannot divest ourselves of AS. How can we when our genetic make-up and brains conspire daily against us to fail?

So yes, I see AS as a curse, not as a gift. And now that I am sure that I have it, my screwed up life makes a lot of sense.

I seriously doubt it. Because out of all those who manage to live a successful life, I truly doubt that the majority of those will ever get the diagnosis. I mean if you aren't bothered by it, why would you even think to get a diagnosis?

Personally I'm leaning towards to other way around (in lower ratio though), however the vast majority just never get the diagnosis.

Dude. This is the crux of the issue for me, man.



I like you, guy. I think you're exactly right. Which is, of course, of no consolation to the Aspies who aren't living a healthy, well-adapted existence. It would probably be comforting to know that everybody else in your shoes is going through the same thing. But the world is full of possibilities, and there are so many more possibilities than limitations, no matter what your circumstances are. I think it's likely that people who aren't focusing on their limitations are going to be more successful in making opportunities than those who are trying to work within their perceived limitations and not allowing for possibilities that they wouldn't have imagined existed.

If that makes any sense. :p

I consider it to be both a blessing and a curse. I look at normal people as though they have no clue about anything outside their immediate lives. Politics, current events, finance, technology or anything else that might lead to an intellectual conversation are all foreign concepts to most 16 years olds. It is difficult to have a conversation with someone your own age when you have more advanced interests. So I consider myself blessed that I have these interests but cursed that no one else does. I also have difficulty keeping quiet when someone makes a poor decision that had no thought behind it. It makes me even more annoyed when this person. (tries) to make an argument against me but is to belligerent to consider what I am saying.

I also have a certain emotional detachment that allows me to remain calm when others are stressed but in return, I am often stressed when others are not. My failure to read between the lines also gives me an excellent legal ability. But I really do not enjoy lawyers. I could be a legal document writer but I am not all that interested in the proffession.

I really don't think of it as a bad thing. I am single and when I've told men about it, they ask if I'm "worried" about having kids with it, and ask me questions that are almost offensive! I don't think it would be a problem whatsoever. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 21 years old, at least I know now and would know what to look for and my kids could get help at a younger age.

I dont think its one I hate it when people tell me this is a gift too. They say im gifted or blessed or use a disadvantage to my advantage (What does it even mean) So how is something that gives me constant stress, makes life a lot harder then it already is and makes me have to do extra things a gift. All these people think they are smart I dont have a problem with Its the ones who think they are superior because they have aspergers. You dont have to have it to be smart. My sister is a perfect example of NT and has an IQ range as high as the people wrote about here and she is a straight A high honor roll student and will be going to college all expenses paid next year as well as the fact she is the head of most of her activities. She may even be smarter then some people here. This proves aspergers doesn't make people better then others its really from the way they are born. Another problem is the Aspies are encouraged to do one thing but everyone should focus on the big picture. You cant go through life with only one skill for something. You must challenge yourself if you want go somewhere.

I agree with you 100 percent.
I hate it when people here think NTs are all stupid, because actually they're not. Like you, I know some people who are perfect examples of NTs and they got A's in their exams and seemed to succeed much better than me. I know an NT in his 50s who is so high on computers, he builds them and knows everything about them and even used to teach IT classes at a college. Also he is very creative, and owns big tools where he makes things which are really quite ingenious, and I actually think he is an interesting person, but he is NT, I know he is.
Also I hate it when I describe an NT who has clever ideas and has a creative mind, and then somebody here says ''are you sure this person is NT?'' and gives a little shocked emoticon, then talks me into this person not being NT by convincing me that this person might be on the spectrum but I might not know it because everybody's different and some Aspies can hide it and pass off as NT - um, excuse me but you don't even KNOW this person, stop convincing me that they are an Aspie!

Sorry, wasn't aimed at you, I was just agreeing with what you wrote and giving my examples too. Like you, I was just pointing out that you don't have to be an Aspie to be a genious. I'm Aspie and I'm NOT at all a genious, even through school I always felt dumber than the other kids and they were always ahead of me and I had to ask other kids for their help in order for me to catch up. And anyway, everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Strengths and weaknesses are not only typical in Autistics, they are typical in everyone. The only trouble with me is, my weaknesses tend to go against my daily life, and I don't have many strengths at all.