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Why do people not understand when you explain AS

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wblastyn
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24 Jul 2010, 6:25 pm

Well I suppose you can't blame someone with AS for getting frustrated and angry at confusing social situations...



hale_bopp
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24 Jul 2010, 8:21 pm

League_Girl wrote:
I think the reason why a few people in this thread assumed he was being a douche or something because of the other thread he posted where he said how aspie women have it easier than aspie men and people in that thread also told him he will never have a relationship with that attitude.


Yes from his posts here he seems like a douche and not a very nice personality. Thats probably the main reason women stay away from him.



alone
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24 Jul 2010, 9:07 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
It's because people hate us, and they want us dead.


LOL that made me laugh .. you got some great tongue in cheek stuff going on constantly

Hale boop's post...lol too

HELLO"""" no one knows about AS unless their own life has been impacted.....
AS is not well known.

We live in a completely selfish world. The 'good' thing about being on the spectrum is we actually have a capacity to have an interest in something besides what is an inch from own own faces. We actually can care, research and learn something for some other reason besides promoting our own superiority but instead we do it just for the sake of knowing, learning, and understanding.

When you tell the average person you have AS or on the spectrum of Autism they think you are saying you are 'slow'.

:P



Last edited by alone on 25 Jul 2010, 12:51 pm, edited 2 times in total.

LK
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24 Jul 2010, 11:12 pm

johnnydangerous wrote:
LK wrote:
Most people do not like things that are different. Different is uncomfortable and not safe.

To be honest, I do not understand why it is so hard for so many people with asperger's to understand that if a person thinks someone is different/weird and the someone tells them "Oh, yeah, I am different (weird) because I have this disorder called asperger's that makes me think differently (weirdly). . . " unless the first person is familiar with asperger's in a possitive way (if they were this probably would not be an issue in the first place) adding a funny sounding name and listing symptoms/pointing out the specific reasons the person probably picked up on, but did not recognize individually, that caused them to think the someone was different/weird, is very likely only going to confirm the someone is weird in the person's mind.

Also, the ability of someone to explain they are different does not make them any less different. Some people simply do not like AS traits. Think of behaviors you do not like in a person or that make you uncomfortable. If someone with those traits was able to explain the psychological and/or biological reasons they behave in that way, would you suddenly not mind or even like said traits?

Study social sciences and psychology to try to understand why people do not like other people they perceive as very different from themselves. If you are able to understand it, maybe you will be satisfied with an explanation and no longer be bothered by it. If not, then maybe you will be able to understand how the availability of an explanation for something you find unpleasant or undesirable does not necessarily make it seem any more appealing.


Like what do you mean? If someone was an ass to me and explained why they were an ass, I wouldnt be too forgiving because thats something they ARE DOING. With AS its about what you DONT DO. So...I dont see how something you "dont do" could possibly annoy or make someone uncomfortable IF you explain yourself. Now if you dont explain, then I could fully understand them thinking I was a weirdo. But no excuse after. None, Im sorry.


Define being an "ass." Some people may think certain aspie behavior is more "ass" behavior, and there is not an explanation that will make the behavior seem any better to them.
Not making eye contact can be perceived by some people as being unfriendly, constantly talking about one's own interests can be perceived as selfish and/or annoying, behaving in unusual ways (doing anything the other person doesn't understand) can seem scary and/or confusing to the other person. I chose to list these few specific things because they are things I sometimes do- I do not know what types of things you specifically do.

Also, just because you explain something does not mean it is understood. Perhaps some people are not able to imagine having a brain that works differently (Sometimes I think most people, AS or not, are like this O_o). Another thing, maybe you explained it badly.

As for AS being about something you "DONT DO." ...what? haha I have AS. I do not do certain things people who do not have AS do, and I do certain things people without AS do not do.


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24 Jul 2010, 11:38 pm

I did not know About Aspergers until April of this year. I was flipping the channels and came across experts on autism talking about the autism spectrum. They talked about Aspergers and when they gave the discription of the disorder it was like they were describing me. They even mentioned how people with Aspergers durring the 70's - early 90's were sometimes diagnosed with having ADHD when they had very few ADHD traits. I will finally get an evaluation on August 6th. Another good thing about that show they mentioned wrongplanet so here I am.


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nikki191
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25 Jul 2010, 6:09 am

One thing I have learned over the years and it is a simple thing. Anything out of what people view as normal or common tends to freak people out even if its explained to them, infact explaining things can some times make them freak out more. No it's not fair, no it doesnt make sense, and it still doesn't make sense alot of the time to me either.

If I have to explain things to people its a case of explaining specific details rather than saying "I've got aspergers". For example "I have trouble reading people body language and facial expressions, could you explain things verbally insead"



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27 Jul 2010, 3:46 pm

Well for what it is worth here are my thoughts.

I think that many people find the idea of something "different" to themselves and new very hard. I think that a lot of people (NTs and AS) are neophobic, I have to confess to being somewhat neophobic myself. The big issue is what do you do even if you are nervous.

I once came very close to a bat, I opened my back door and steped into the garden as the bat flew past at head height. It was a slightly shocking moment which gave me a start but as it happened I worked out what was going on. I fought against the residual fear in my mind and the experience became one of wounder and awe rather than shock and horror as I saw a life form for the first time up close and personal. The thing is when a person encounters something new and different do they surrender to their fear or not.


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Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity :alien: I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.