Childfree by choice

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I picked out my family beforehand through the agency (it was essentially down to two families, the one I went with was younger and had some in common with my immediate family, lived locally, already had a 3 year old child (also adopted), the other I didn't go with lived in another state, bragged about having 50+ hobbies, this couple was like, aged 45+ and their portrayal screamed something of "empty nest syndrome" as their kids all went away to college so I didn't seek them out because I smelled desperation).

Anyhow, some people were still insistent that I was going to get this magical maternal instinct, because like many flawed NT arguments, they were basing their basis for my behavior, not on myself but on themselves and other NTs. Even lamer, I just remembered that my sisters and my ex-bil waged a $15 bet on whether or not I'd go through with it!! !! I barely remember it now, I must've been Pissed when I found out about it. (how's that for low?) In the end I think my sisters won the bet considering they knew me better than my (now ex)-bil did. Pay up, buddy.

I think of babies as mostly cute and ignore the things that I might find unattractive about them. Again, I must be following my heart rather then my head.

My father was a pushy parent to the point of being a bully. 99% was never good enough for him.
My mother was emotionally ice-cold. Although she denies it, it's clear that I wasn't a wanted child on her part.
And I know what I am. I've inherited both traits, and this stops with me. I'm not fit to be a parent.

Plus I couldn't bear to see a child like me live a school life like I had. If I were to treat my own child the way school bullies do, I'd be jailed, but as a parent I'd have to send my child off to that place to be psychologically tortured every day.

Even if given the oppurtunity to have any offspring I wouldn't...though I haven't had a relationship last that long anyways. I tend to have enough difficulties with myself I don't really see how I would raise a child let alone take care of one.

I simply don't have any interest in children. I have no desire for any of my own. I ignore other people's children.

I'm not having kids EVER. I'm so proud to be the only one of 3 sisters to be childless.

1. I'm selfish
2. I'm dependent myself
3. Babies arent cool
4. too painful to push one out
5. not motherly at all
6. dont need to add to the human population (leave it up to the breeders)

I have to agree with PangeLingua. Your statement does make it sound like you're prejudiced. Not cool at all...maybe it is better that you not have children.

No one wants a child wants a child with a disability. If they did, they would either adopt from over seas or adopt a child from a broken home or just adopt knowing the mother did drugs while she was pregnant, or drink during their pregnancy, severely neglect their child so they have developmental problems in the future. Plus some people think they wouldn't be able to handle it so they choose to not have kids for that reason. I see nothing wrong with that. Some people do believe if you don't want a child with disabilities nor think you would be able to handle it, don't have kids. Maybe Alla believes that she so listed that as a reason for her to not have any children.

i will not have biological children, but would happily adopt.

I cannot in good conscience justify the creation of a new human being when there are so many already existent who will either not have any parents at all, or have the misfortune to be mis-treated by their foster or adoptive families. There is also the overpopulation of the planet to consider, and the environmental effect of creating a child is staggering.

I think procreation at the moment is an immoral and selfish act, especially since so many children never find loving, safe homes in which to be raised, all because people want little versions of themselves, with their genes, instead of some stranger's. I'm privately disgusted by people's strong desire to procreate but have to keep a lid on it... I learned my lesson about that.

Although I'm only 17 and situations can change, I actually do want a child when I'm older, two at most.


I know that, realistically I'm not that suited to raising a child, I hate loud people/things and I hate getting my hands dirty. But there's something about creating and raising life that really appeals to me.

I used to babysit a lot due to my Mom having the register for babysitters in the local area I lived in, and having to jump in whenever something fell through. I wasn't bad at it and I don't exactly dislike babies and children (although I get irritable when people drag their screaming babies into work, and am puzzled by how women especially drool and coo over them. Unless I know the baby, I have no desire to make that cooey connection with them or pick them up etc.), but I couldn't really see myself having children.

I lack the support structure where I live, and I know I would find it too disruptive. I can just about cope with looking after myself and a house and a few pets, and live with someone who leaves me to be myself most of the time, but with children you just don't have that option. If I had the support structure (relatives to babysit etc) I could see myself having a child, just the two of us, because I couldn't split my attention between a child and a partner.

About your quote; It truly sounds like that poor man married the wrong person - completely wrong, if she saw him that way.

I tell people that I just don't like kids, but in reality, I wouldn't be able live with myself if my kid turned out to be like me.

Certainly.

1. I am not capable of caring for a child. I would not be a fit parent.
2. I don't have any interest in reproducing
3. Given my mental illness and the mental illness present in my bloodline, it would be negligent if not downright malicious to procreate knowing that the probability of my progeny inheriting these issues is significant.
4. I have no interest in intimate relationships with other people

I like children well enough but they notice immediately that there is something unusual about me and frequently jump straight to questions that I have no simple answers for. It's difficult enough just explaining to my landlord's kids the concept of an apartment unit in their house. At last check, they refer to their floors of the house as their "house" and my floor of the house as my "house".

Im amazed that the brightest of people are wanting to become genetic dead ends.

I think its far better to understand that conditioning and experience are substantial parts of the picture here.

I went through a period of not knowing that and thus not wanting kids. But I do now and I've seen how smart Aspie kids are. They are great!! I would love one.

I would abort it before it became a child, assuming the "other half" was ok with doing so, of course. Guess I'm a Satanic Democrat. Better to adopt anyway. I wouldn't want to put either a child or the world through what I've been through.

Besides, there's nothing like noise and clutter to make me have a meltdown. So not sure NT children would work for me either.