22 year old son is driving us crazy

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You know what autism is? It is something where every one on the spectrum is different. But none get a free pass to be anything less than their best.[/quote]


I agree with this guy 100%. As long as you give live your best shot, you can rest easy. For example, I am an ectomorph and into wieghtlifting. I don't think it will be possible for me to go past 190 pounds without rioids which i wont do.





same with college...everything..



I like wavefreak now.

And even if you can't do volunteer work there's always a lot of other things. Even as much as taking care of a cat, or much more subtle things that defy any description. Essentially don't believe anyone who says "Because you can't do ______ you're not contributing to the world. The only people who aren't contributing are more like... people who do have some contribution but it's totally cancelled out by the evil they've done, and I'm talking serious evil like Hitler, not "being really evil inside" or other beliefs a person might have about themselves. (I used to think that way about myself which is why I'm qualifying the term evil. When I say seriously evil I don't mean the kind of evil that seriously depressed people might worry that they are, I mean like mass murder, genocide, etc.) If you're not capable of much functioning in day to day life you're probably not capable of that level of evil kind of by definition. But anyway, yeah, there are all kinds of contributing and many of them a person does without even trying. It's a messed up society that measures it entirely by work (which is convenient for parts of that society but destructive on a larger scale). There's a certain level of contribution even just by existing, although that's not obvious to people who don't know where to look.

This!

This holds true for everyone, disabled or not. NT or AS.

Try my hardest? What does that mean? Try my hardest to do WHAT? I have done everything from tending bar to interpreting contracts. I have never failed at anything I have attempted and have had an extremely rich and full life. Every job I've ever quit was quit because the fun of doing it stopped being worth the hassle of dealing with the people.

I have no trouble, whatsoever, "holding my head up". I learned that very quickly, after I had my daughter, to prevent having her taken away from me and raised by others. She's 34 now. I am HFA with wildly varied interests that I am free to pursue at my leisure and no desire for anything but the next adventure. I'm pretty sure my daughter is an Aspie (undiagnosed) and the only person I know, personally, who is smarter than I am. She has no trouble functioning, is extremely successful in her own right, doesn't take s**t off of anybody and could, would and has turned bullies into crying babies using nothing but the spoken word. I wouldn't trade lives with anybody. NObody has a life I could want more than my own.

When you say "try harder" or "try your hardest", what you're saying is "you're not good enough or doing enough to suit me" to which I reply "Then go find something that does suit you and leave folks alone.". I didn't come here for "advice". Nothing in my post suggested I wanted your advice.

I am 52 years old. I lived a whole, big life before I ever knew I was HFA. I didn't have anyone breathing down my neck, telling me there was something wrong with me. Nobody blatantly bullied me. No one would have dared. I figured it out - "I'm different.". Did I want to be like everyone else? No. Do I care if some NT or self-diagnosed Aspie wanna-be doesn't like me? Why would I?

Here it is, for you, in plain English - very simple - Stop telling people they're defective.

It's not really in my nature to say "please" but...would it help?

To everyone else I say - Stop acting like you're defective. You're not defective and the time you waste worrying about it is the time during which life is passing you by. You'll figure it out. If you can let yourself be who you are, you'll find that you magically know what to do when it needs to be done.

What does this mean? Who is acting defective?

You know people with AS have trouble with transitions, and the transition into adulthood is a big transition. The person he is closer to in the family should sit down and talk with him and ask him how he feels about being an adult and if he's worried he won't be able to make it on his own. He probably doesn't know what he wants to do with his life, as well.

People with AS also get unbearably stressed in certain environments, and quitting a job is certainly better than having a massive adult melt down. It's better to know when to walk away from a situation than to let it collapse on you.

Wow. You're absolutely right. I had just finished reading a speech and watching some videos about autism and then I read that reply and was pretty wound up. Made us sound like a plague. "A cure", indeed!

Jeez Louise. I'm going to stop thinking and reading about this. It's really starting to piss me off. I'm going back to my happy place.

LOVE you guys!! !

Dude! You are completely misunderstanding me. I think a big group hug is in order (and I HATE hugs)



No harm no foul...

Can we stop hugging now? I've reached my physical contact limit ...

Is not knowing what you want to do with your life part of aspergers? It's one of the reasons I chose a business major

Okay, then! Glad that's all sorted.