Independent living difficulties

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funding is the biggest problem for me, buying food and gas is a money pit. Then you have rent...then your car breaks down and you have to fix it......

which would all be fine and good but I have trouble holding down a job...
let alone getting one, employers are put off by my oddities
and most jobs I have worked due to the stress usually make me act erradic and irrationally. Causing me to look even stranger at work, making mistakes at home, in town, or at work that I wouldn't normally.

I find similar things to happen if I hang out with many of my friends, so I try not to hang out with anyone because I am not able to be around a lot of people for an extended period of time without losing my mind to the point where if I do make it back home I will be in a "recovery" period for two days maybe more. Just trying to bring my mind back to a point where I was better coping with the day to day without so much social interaction.

i don't have any kind of help with practical things so in that sense i am living independently in my own appartment. but in actuality i'm not doing it too well. pretty much any and all "normal" responsibilities i find pretty draining or almost impossible. the thing i'm learning right now is to do the things i really need to do in very very small pieces or portions. like only a very very small piece of the project at any one time.

like if i need to clean up a room. then i start with a microscopic part of it. like say just focusing on *part* of a stack of books. and putting those very few books in the right place. rather than all the stack at once. let alone all the room as one project. that's my trick. not planning ahead. keeping every project ant-size. then, only after the first micro-project is completed, i may plan another. ...

i think one service i almost desperately need (for example) would be to have sort of an ambassador for my neighbours and landlord. so if they want to tell me something they talk to my ambassador and of course also vice versa. i talk to my ambassador if i want them something. as it is i pretty much avoid contact with neighbours at all costs. which is pretty far from ideal im afraid ... :/ (not sure if this has already been brought up)

Just the job.

cleaning, making doctor appointment, finding a place to live, eating right
(i eat too much junk food ) keeping into contact with my ghey family

I have problems with anything long-term, especially work. Which usually means to make it even one year in the same job for me is difficult. That hardly makes for steady income. I can't just settle into the "normal" life - it's completely wrong to me.
I've basically given up trying to meet that social benchmark that labels you a loser, a child, weird/wrong/whatever if you're considered an adult and still live with your family.

I have trouble paying bills on time too. I have to be out of this apartment soon. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm not too worried about it.

I live independantly and have huge issues with this. Some areas I have trouble in is -

cooking, I tend to get distracted in whatever is taking my interest at the time so at least one third of the time will completely burn my dinner black (that highly annoys me that I go to effort and then end up with burnt food I cant eat, It annoys me so much about the wasted food etc, that I then will go hungry and miss then having a meal). Even when the house is full of smoke and Im coughing on it, I dont always realise right away and remember that I had food which is now burning on the stove. When I do remember to take my food off in time, my stove often accidently gets left on (sometimes all night).
If involved in something which interests me.. I can forget to eat meals completely.

bill paying, I forget or just dont organise myself enough to pay my bills so usually end up getting fined due to late payments or get debt collectors letters. Ive had to direct debit many things or otherwise I dont end up paying my rent in time etc.

I confuse dates and forget appointments. I forget to take my medications when Im supposed to.

phoning people, I hate telephones and talking to strangers on the phone, it gives me a huge amount of anxiety, so will put off important stuff I should of done.

Im struggling to keep my house clean (its rather dirty) as Im doing things which interest me to take my mind off of stressors rather then doing housework as I hate it, so making myself do it just makes me want to cry. Of late Ive been feeling overwhelmed with life and all the expectations life puts on me, so that makes it all the more harder for me to organise and keep my house clean.

I currently dont bother to dress, do my hair etc etc unless I know someone is going to see me... as I just otherwise have no interest in doing so and see it as pointless. (that's by my own choice but NTs would probably look at this different). I'd probably have dreadlocks right now if my boyfriend wasnt coming to visit me a couple times a week.

My social life is a shambles as I struggle to socialise without having someone with me to do the talking etc when Im meeting people and getting to know them. Right now Im kind of scared of NTs so avoiding them, even to the point where Im avoiding the ones I do sometimes chat to online.. (they dont understand me so I just end up getting hurt or having meltdowns). Im scared to meet new people as I cant judge myself who is good and who is bad.

I often hate making life decisions unless the answer is really clear to me.. and hence then not do things often for this reason.

I really need a service, helping me in the areas I need it in as right now my life is real hard (in the keeping my paperwork up to date.. its all a complete mess with medical tests I was meant to have done a while ago appointments not made etc etc, cooking etc) and I cant see it getting any easier any time soon. The more overwhelmed I get, the less Im able to do as Im like distancing myself away from life as I cant handle it. Unfortunatley none of the medical professions dealing with me have any idea how much I struggle as they dont live with me or see me trying to live.