MathGirl wrote:
My question is, what is the best way to avoid this problem when dealing with people? Would there be anything I could say to someone upon meeting them for the first time to help me avoid this issue of misunderstanding?
Hi, I have also been in these kinds of situations and have found it difficult over the years to help people understand me. I'd like to offer two strategies that may help you to overcome some of the difficuties that you have with interpersonal communication.
The first is what I call
Clarificaton, quite simply, repeat back to them what you think they are saying, and ask them if you've got it right.
There is a general preference in most western cultures to 'play down' your own strengths in order to show
solidarity in a relationship. Most people assume, (even though they may not realise it,) that if you say something depreciating about yourself that you are attempting to make a show of solidarity. As a result, they may attempt to mirror this solidarity by complimenting you or telling you that you are being too hard on yourself. So, rather than telling people
explicitly that you have a problem or that you can't keep up with their flow of conversation, let them discover it for themself, overtly or
implicitly, in a way that doesn't cause a lose of 'face' to either you or them. When you ask questions and attempt to clarify what people are saying they are more able to learn the modes of language that help you understand them, and over time you will find that you begin to understand each-other better without having to ask so many questions.
The second strategy is
Point Making, and is similar to the first but is more useful in a classroom situation. When you have a question, write it down so that when you have the opportunity to ask the teacher you ask
only what you intended to ask. By doing this you help yourself to crystalise your thoughts and don't end up waffling on about the interconnecting issues. Once the answer is then given, attempt to Clarify so that the teacher can know if you have understood the answer. (It may even be helpful to say something like, "So, just to clarify that...")
I hope this helps. Let me know how you go