"Autistic people can't realize they are autistic."

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I don't realize I'm autistic, so I guess that means I'm autistic.

I didn't realize until I was an adult. But yet I knew I had AS when I was 12 but I didn't know what it was. When I was 15 I asked my parents if I was and they said no. I asked them why does autism pop up when I look up AS and they said it was a form of it. I was taught that AS wasn't autism and it was just a form of it and that aspies were not autistic. I still have troubles accepting it.


I didn't even know I had a disability either until I was 15. I just thought disability was being in a wheelchair or having Down's syndrome or using crutches or a walker. I had no idea there were invisible ones. I just thought I was normal and I had to try harder. But I knew I was different since I was about three. But I never knew why I had to be different.

I think the phrase is reasonable because it is difficult to know if something is missing, because if its missing the only way of "knowing" that, is if somebody else tells you. Example: They say autistics lack empathy. After hearing that I tried to figure out if there is something missing, if there is a higher level of emotionally understanding which I dont posess. Even though I have known all my life that Im different, I have never thought that Im missing something, so this statement made of physicians led me to confusion. I have concluded that I have all emotions and all developmental cognition levels that I think is necessary to posess, but I cant understand something that is missing, and so its a secure utterance of the professionals, because I cant deny it. Understanding that I have Aspergers is impossible, because the only things I can refer to are the comparisons to other people on the spectrum.

I would like to claim that everybodies mental conditions are normal to themselves.

Im different yes, and I understand the differences when they occur, but the way I perceive the world will always be the right way for me, so the only thing I can hold on to is my uniqueness, and the only thing I can do to "know" if I have Aspergers is to compare myself to you guys.

I knew that I was different all my life. I didn't know that other people knew I was different until the psychologist mentioned that I probably had aspergers when I was getting my son DXD. I had assumed he got it from his father.

Talk about poor self awareness and self fulfilling prophecy. I feel far more different now I have been told I am aspie/autie.

The phrase is unreasonable because it is used to claim that autistic people are so thoroughly incapable of self-awareness and self-knowledge that we simply cannot know that we are autistic.

I can see how there's a reasonable thing here, that many autistic people don't realize we're different, or we realize it but we can't work out how, or we need things explicitly pointed out directly, or read things that describe what our experiences are like to relate to them, and so on. But it seems to me there is a world of difference there.

I realized I was "different," but I never realized the full extent of it. And, with some of my deficiencies, I was never aware of them until I was told about them.

For example, I recently had to work with people I have never worked with before. I had always figured I could pick up on jokes and sarcasm perfectly well, but this experience taught me otherwise. They would crack jokes and I would completely miss them. I actually started keeping a running tab of every time someone had to say to me, "Uh, I was joking." Quite a humbling experience.

Self-awareness is a difficult issue for everybody. I will claim that a NT also cant know he/she is NT because of the same reasons: You dont know the difference because you only have your own perspective. We can only compare ourselves and talk about it, but we cant know the real differences. Can you know HOW you feel differently to somebody in the same situation?... etc.

The phrase should go like this: Humans cant realize their differences to other people.

Sorry for editing my post, I want to add:
We can only understand intelectually that there is a difference, but we cant understand the difference in its essence. That makes it impossible to know for sure how we differ. Also I cant know for sure how another autistic person is thinking, because we cant switch brains, so how can I be sure Im on the spectrum, when the only way to gain the knowledge is through conversations across the infinite borders that separate us?

I end up thinking Im a little bit like this and a little bit like that and have only myself to understand. Yes I understand others, but not really...

You are splitting hairs that the people who make this statement do not themselves split. To them, the ability to say "I think or know I am autistic" disqualifies one from being autistic.

It is certainly reasonable to discuss whether or to what extent any of us realizes we're different from other people (before I encountered descriptions of being autistic by autistic people I didn't have any idea that I was different or in what kinds of ways) and how easy it is to understand what those differences are, but that is a different conversation. One I find very interesting, but not particularly applicable to the statement I was questioning in this thread.

Not to say we shouldn't talk about the latter, because as I said, it's interesting. I just want clarity on the separation.

Last edited by Verdandi on 10 Jul 2011, 4:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

To me, saying "Autistic people can't realize they are autistic" includes not being able to intellectually get to the point of saying "I have autism", which is quite obviously wrong. There's clearly many who can. That's NOT the same as saying an autistic person (or an NT) can't really appreciate how normal people (or autistics) think differently from them.

How is it obviously wrong? Im not convinced.
How is it clearly many who can? Im not convinced.

I also understand that people think differently to myself, but the lines are stretched and I can never be sure what I am because I can only keep comparing into the eternity. Am I autistic because of 100 according situations where I would agree with other autistics?

It's obviously wrong because ANI exists, because this forum exists, because the autism hub exists, because there are autistic bloggers, autistic speakers, autistic authors, and so many more who are aware that they are autistic, whatever means they came by that knowledge.

It is clearly wrong, and there are clearly many autistic people who are able to talk about being autistic.

Ok, see you're right on that. I guess that gives my question the answer YES. But whatever, that still doesnt give us the knowledge INTO OUR SEPARATE BRAINS if we are autistics or not, it only says that ANI exists, this forum exists, the autism hub exists, that there are autistic bloggers, autistic speakers, autistic authors, and so many more who are aware that they are autistic, whatever means they came by that knowledge.

You could always be wrong. Am I right? I guess Im just so into this because I really dont know how to figure it out. If a professional tells me I have anything, I know I will doubt it.
Sure there are traits, but we are still all different and many traits are still vague and many things change. Im a human being with a biolocial brain in the first place, but I really would like to have a brain scan! -Even if I wouldnt understand that Im autistic when I see the coloured scales on the scanner monitor, because I still have to understand it with all the senses and all the knowledge of another brain.

I never accepted autism in my youth. I had this fear of being different from other kids. It was this intense phobia I had. I have no idea why. I thought I had to be like everyone else and if I was not, it was like the end of the world to me - doom.
Of course, I was different, even more than usual. No two people are exactly alike, not even identical twins. I didn't take that perspective. It was like I knew I believed I was really different and this terrified me and caused me a lot of problems growing up. A lot of my frustration came from this dilemma.

I don't know how I would have reacted if I had been told I was autistic when I was young. I honestly don't. It took me three years from finding out to accepting it - I found out at 38 that it was probably true and finally accepted it at 41.

If I was told, I blocked it out. I can remember hearing about autism but it was like it wasn't me they were referring to but a neighbor's child or something. I fit some of the autistic criteria but could talk and was on time developmentally though there was some talk after my surgery about me being delayed a bit because of the operation and my Mother was surprised that I wasn't that delayed by it.
I had the intense special interest, hard time focusing when people were talking to me, stimmed some, insomnia and trouble interacting with other kids but nothing else that indicated autism to the people who tested me so they weren't totally convinced.
One thing for sure, I experienced a lot of the same issues as autistic kids do, only I wasn't in classes where those could be addressed. The only special attention I got was speech therapy and that was it. My mom thinks that was a big mistake but she was the one convinced I didn't need any help.
It seems like autism, sometimes, is hard for people to realize, even people who aren't autistic. They might be in denial about someone who is.

Last edited by ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo on 10 Jul 2011, 5:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Because there are plenty of autistic people who know they are autistic. There's plenty here.

How can you claim that all those people who say they are autistic don't realize they are autistic? That's contradictory. They do; they said so.